In my last post I talked about the effect of hormone imbalance on my children. But what about my husband?!
It’s NOT easy on a husband when his wife is struggling with hormone problems, and struggling with depression, fatigue, and irritability. However, as the wife is going through these difficulties, it is a time of God working in his life too!
It’s a time when your husband will probably need to pitch in, do more with the children, do a little extra around the house, and maybe even help some with the homeschooling. It may be hard for him after working all day, but it’s a great chance for him to show his love, and get more involved.
Often as wives we do it all, and our husbands aren’t even involved in much of the parenting, housework, etc. When there are physical issues, your husband has to get involved. I found that in my situation this turned out to be good.
My husband learned to know our children better, and became more aware of what my daily duties involved. I found that this gave my husband a greater love for me and the kids, and bound our hearts closer.
The important thing is to COMMUNICATE to him!
A husband needs to know what his wife needs from him. Don’t just expect him to know! I think most husbands pitch in pretty well with the housework, children, etc. when needed because those needs are obvious. But they don’t know what we need emotionally. We have to tell them!
Sit down and talk, and let him know that you NEED his support. Tell him how you feel. “I’m depressed, I’m tired, I feel like a bad mom.” etc.
You need his reassurance and acceptance. You need to know he loves you regardless. Most husbands will be glad to try to get you through it, if you simply tell them how they can help.
One thing I expressed to my husband was my concern about what others would think.
Fatigue has been a big problem or me, and I’ve had to remember what is really important as I make decisions about doing “extras”. My husband has been of real help here, because he has learned what I can handle. He knows that if I do too much I will be so fatigued that I really struggle to care for the kids, and my responsibilities in the home.
We have prayed together about what I should or should not do, and chosen NOT to worry about what others will think. They don’t and won’t understand all you’re going through, but it doesn’t matter.
If we spend time with the Lord, and are doing what we feel HE is telling us to do, that’s all that matters.
Let your husband know what you are feeling, how he can help, and what your fears are. Let him help and support you through the hard times. Working through hard times makes your love grow, and builds a stronger marriage.
Next and final post: The JOY of hormone problems!