As moms, it is easy to get to the point where our well is dry, and we have nothing left to give to our families. I’ve been there, and want to share some tips for the mom who is burnout and stressed.
There never seems to be enough time to do it all as a mom, so we push ourselves. We struggle to keep our priorities straight while trying to do all kinds of “good” things for our children and husband. Oftentimes we are also serving outside of the family or working from home. In the busyness of life, we fail to take responsibility for our own well-being. We can feel like self-care is selfish and we put it off.
The truth is that when we give and give without taking time to renew our spirit, our well becomes empty and dry. At that point, we have nothing to draw from, and nothing to give.
When Mom Has Nothing Left To Give
How do you know when you’re to that point?
Well, for me there were a couple of pretty obvious signs that I was running on empty. One was the audible sigh that came forth when my family asked me to do something for them. It could be the simplest request, but my fatigue made it seem big to me. The other sign was negative thinking.
I’m such a bad wife and mom.
My kids would have been better off in school.
And the list goes on. When those thoughts came I realized that I had to purposely choose to replace those lies from the devil with the truth of God’s Word. As I struggled with the fatigue and negative thoughts God kept reminding me, “Come to me, and I will give you rest. I will renew your mind, your body, and your spirit.”
He was offering rest to me, but I had to be willing to come to Him and take it. You are able to serve your family much more effectively (and without the sigh!), if your well isn’t totally dry.
Here are 3 tips for the mom who has nothing left to give:
1. Find a sanctuary
Find a place where you can go to clear your mind, and hear God’s voice daily. Even if you are in the busiest season of motherhood, and can only do this for a few minutes a day, find that place. (Often it’s the bathroom!)
2. Get spiritual food daily
Just like we need food daily for our physical strength, we need sustenance from God’s Word. Again, this doesn’t have to be an hour-long thing. It could be as simple as claiming a verse for the day and carrying that thought and truth with you.
Also, using God’s Word as you teach and train your kids throughout the day helps you to keep His Word in your heart and mind. That often helped me keep my own spirit right on tough parenting days.
3. Slow down to avoid mom burnout
Clear your schedule of some of those extra things that aren’t priorities, and slow down. When you are busy rushing from one activity to another daily, it stresses you and wears you down.
I love the way Cary Schmidt explains it:
“We don’t realize we’re TOO busy until something starts to breakdown and even then, we don’t always connect the symptoms with the real cause. For instance, fractured and stressed relationships sometimes have nothing to do with the heart or intent of the individuals, and everything to do with their schedules or level of fatigue.
Bad stuff happens when we get too busy and over-extended:
- Our Walk With God Diminishes
- Our Physical Fatigue Increases
- Our Relationships are Stretched
- Our Health Suffers
Everybody pays when I’m too busy—especially those closest to me.”
Before you get to the point of burnout or let your well run dry, decide to make time for yourself. choose to go to God daily, and take the rest He offers.[magicactionbox]
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Heidi, I’m sorry to hear that you got to the point of physical burnout, and are still struggling to recover. Slowing down in all areas that you can would be good for your health, and your family! As far as being able to homeschool, if you decide to keep on I’d suggest cutting back to only the 3 Rs for the time, and getting curriculum that is mostly self-teaching so your kids can do most of it on their own. That will give you time to rest during the day some, and also you’d only have to help them when they needed it and would have more time to focus on character as needed. Hang in there, and take care of yourself!
I recently found your blog and have been encouraged by it! I reached the point of real physical burnout last year because I didn’t follow the advice you give here. I wish I had paid attention sooner! Now trying to get back on my feet and deciding if homeschooling is even possible anymore. But coming to that point did show me I had been too busy with unimportant things and neglecting teaching my kids about God and developing character in them. Slowing down has been good for us though and we are closer together than we were before.
Sheree, you certainly aren’t alone in that! 🙂 Yes, the busier we are the more we need to spend time seeking His strength and wisdom.
Oh, what a relief it is to read and know that I’m not the only mom that finds sanctuary in the bathroom. And I always need the reminder that I need the word of God more than food to fuel me. Thank you for this. So many times like many mom’s I suspect, we believe the lie that we are too busy. To busy to pray or write or study. In those moments I know I need it even more!
You’re welcome! It’s always a relevant topic for moms. 🙂
So timely even a couple of years later — thank you💕
Purdy, you’re welcome! Hang in there. Praying God will strengthen and encourage you!
Wow, I needed this. Thank you for sharing. 😊
Valerie, so glad this spoke to you at your time of need! Sending hugs & prayers my friend. Hang in there!
How true you are,I couldn’t have said this any better,Its almost as I wrote this.
And God couldn’t have shown me this at a perfect timing has I’ve had a lot waiting on my shoulders today I sit in my bathroom reading your story as if it was my own I was writing. It is the grace of God that gets me through each day he shows me kindness and love and ways, helps me to figure out things. helps me through the day. and it’s people like you, that share your stories and testimonies that help me also. God bless you for sharing.
Very good tips. Thank you for linking up with Literacy Musings Monday.
Patty, you’re welcome! 🙂
Thank you for this!
God bless,
Patty
Helene, that is one of the BEST ways to keep your soul nurtured in the busy times, because you can ALWAYS listen as you are busy at home, or on the go.