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Learning how to re-evaluate your homeschool when the going gets tough is one of the best ways to handle problems or discouragement.

There are tons of reasons why things sometimes go awry with homeschooling. We all have bad days – the kids and us moms.

Most of the time, it’s best to just push through it, and other days it’s good to put everything down and come back to it again tomorrow.

But there sometimes are even bigger problems that can rear their ugly heads.

• Your child isn’t getting it.
• The schedule isn’t working.
• You made a poor choice with the curriculum and are having second thoughts.

Responding by getting angry, ranting on social media or even sending your kid to public school could derail your entire plan for the year.

Please don’t do that.

Okay, go ahead and be mad for a bit and rant to your husband.

Then take a deep breath, ask his opinion, and start evaluating how you can fix the problem at hand. These trials shall also pass, just like the minor ones, but with some extra effort on your part.

HOW TO RE-EVALUATE YOUR HOMESCHOOL WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

Identify the Problem in your Homeschool When the Going Gets Tough

My six-year-old has been struggling to learn to read. We are making good progress now, but it has been incredibly frustrating for both her and me.

We have days when she does pretty well, and then the next day could be a total setback. This is common in homeschooling since we teach to our child’s personal pace.

We cannot proceed to the next level until they have mastered the current level.

This is why we love homeschooling so much and part of why we chose it in the first place. But it can also be a source of frustration which, at times, has me feeling like I want to give up.

After a particularly challenging couple of days, I realized it’s almost like she blanks out and can’t focus on the page in front of her.

I took a look at our environment, specifically at the times she had been experiencing this shutting down stuff and had an epiphany. She is experiencing anxiety, and it was because her daddy was here.

He is typically working while we do school but had a couple of days off, and she felt some performance anxiety knowing he was in hearing distance. The fix is easy – don’t do reading when Dad is around.

The other subjects, she is mostly okay in if he’s here. But in reading, she is less confident so she was afraid of making errors and being embarrassed in front of her beloved papa.

Once you identify a problem, you can then act to solve it or at least change things up so the problem comes up less frequently. Not every solution is as simple as ours was in this example, so let’s look at some other ideas for re-evaluating when times get tough.

Break Lessons Down

I’ve noticed she experiences anxiety when doing a new type of work also, even when my husband is not around.

If it looks complicated or intimidating, like the cursive program we recently tried (which ended up being really neat, and she enjoyed it), she shuts down and can’t even get out of the starting gate.

I have learned to help her cope with that by breaking those lessons into chunks.

A lesson intended to span one day might be broken down into three or even four days. I don’t mind this at all – we are relaxed homeschoolers so my lesson plans are just “start on this page this week and do as much as she is able.”

Now that she knows I take this strategy, she is much more comfortable expressing her limits, and in a much more positive way. No more crying, yelling or stomping off.

Our communication is much improved and she doesn’t feel like she’s letting anybody down.

Give New Material a Fair Shot

On the flip side, sometimes you just have to keep going and push them a little. You know your child best, and as you gain experience with homeschooling, you’ll be better able to see when things aren’t working for them. A lot of times, they only struggle at the beginning and learn to like it or they start to understand why it’s necessary (like for reading or basic math).

Pushing through those initial moments of balking at new topics might be just what they need. It teaches resilience also. The same thing is true for extracurriculars that they want to try – they need to really try it before deciding they hate it and don’t want to go anymore.

Or maybe the opposite is true and you have to say no to an activity that is currently messing up your entire schedule. Consider making a deal with your child that he can try it again in a few months if you can find something that fits into the schedule better.

Send in the Reinforcements

In the case where your child just isn’t getting it, instead of walking away from that assignment or even an entire curriculum, see if they just need some reinforcement.

If you can add something else to help them see it in a different way, that could be all they need.

This is one reason I like unit studies so much; it approaches a single subject from multiple angles and with a variety of learning methods.

Back It Up

Another strategy for when times are tough in your homeschool is to either restart the lesson or back up a bit further and have them take notes as you show them how it should be done.

Research has shown that handwriting your notes from a lecture helps cement the material in your head, and there is no reason why that could not work for your homeschool. And backing up to start from scratch can help the brain get started on the right foot, so to speak.

Sometimes a blank slate is easier and less confusing.

Be Your Child’s Encourager

As always, stay positive. Even if it’s frustrating for you as the parent/teacher/facilitator, try not to let them see that.

Switch into being the encourager, and give them the support they need.

As moms, we can lean on each other or our husbands and certainly on the Lord when times are tougher than we had hoped.

Our children rely on us (and eventually, the Lord)!

Next time your child experiences a bigger-than-normal bump in the road, don’t think of it as failing (on your part or theirs), think of it as an invitation to make things work better for your child.

You must learn from the bad days, not allow them to defeat you.

To recap how to re-evaluate your homeschool when the going gets tough:

• What is the exact situation at hand and why is your child having a rough go of it?
• Are there environmental factors you can change?
• Is your child experiencing anxiety or a learning problem?
• Can you break down the work to be less overwhelming? Or maybe you need to drop an extracurricular that is upsetting the schedule.
• Do you think they should just push through and keep trying till they get it?
• Can you add something to supplement and present a new angle to the material?
• Can you back up and explain it again while they take notes?
• Do you simply need to be a better encourager for your child?

Above all else, continually pray for your child and your homeschool.

Pray that you would be able to lead your children to a learning experience that is right for them, that you’d be in tune with their needs and be able to navigate problems that arise.

Pray for their attitudes to be receptive to the material and to you as their teacher.

Ask God to help you see clearly so you can stay on top of changes you may need to make before problems come up in the first place. And lastly, pray that your homeschool would bring you together as a family and create a lifelong bond.

*****

Andrea Townsley blogs at Townsley Times and is a Jesus-loving mom of four. She has been homeschooling for four years and writes on biblical homemaking, homeschooling, natural living, and raising children. For more homeschool encouragement, you can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

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Homeschooling with Fibromyalgia is hard.

Living with fibromyalgia is already a challenge. Homeschooling with Fibromyalgia is a whole other beast! Sometimes we feel so frustrated, not understanding why we’re called to homeschool with this sometimes debilitating disorder.

I definitely love homeschooling. So much. Flare-ups, however, make me think twice once in a while. The combo can be brutal.

We’re in good company though. Do you know who else had a mission to carry out while dealing with a chronic condition?

Paul.

He went out on his missions, doing God’s work, all while suffering from his own physical ailment.

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” -2 Corinthians 12:8-9.

At least we’re not staring down all the hardships he faced, right?! We can do this!

If fibromyalgia is the thorn in your side while you homeschool and live life, I’m with you on that!

Today I have six ideas to help you survive and thrive while homeschooling with fibromyalgia and experiencing flare-ups.

HERE’S HOW TO SURVIVE WHEN HOMESCHOOLING WITH FIBROMYALGIA

1. Live in prayer

It’s important to remember to constantly be in prayer. While this is true for all of us, homeschooling with Fibromyalgia takes this importance to the next level.

Prayer reminds us of who He is and His power. He can change and heal us, but even if the healing doesn’t look the way we would hope on this side of heaven, prayer changes our hearts and our minds, keeping us close our healer and provider.

On the same note, try keeping a gratitude journal. You could always keep a prayer journal and add gratitude bullet points inside that as well. Review it on the hard days because it’s so easy to miss our blessings or forget them.

2. Have unit studies on standby

These are so much easier to make work for multiple kids and ages. With only two kids (and they’re relatively close in age) I can still feel stressed about how much there is to do! I can’t imagine how much more that multiplies when teaching whole handfuls of kids! Being able to teach them together, is so much easier, of course, and it’s much better for the days that I just don’t feel like I can keep going.

When homeschooling with Fibromyalgia, I recommend having an emergency unit study on standby. Have everything ready that you may need, and the papers printed so it’s just ready to rock’n’roll. Think of it as your unit study emergency box.

Another option is an online unit study. Online unit studies considerably cut down any prep work and you can just keep a small box with any activity items that you would need. You can have an older sibling manage those projects or simply skip any of the activities.

One last idea is “gameschooling.” If you haven’t heard of that, basically build up a little arsenal of games that are educational or develop certain skills. The Brain Quest game and Clue are two of our favorites, but the possibilities are endless.

3. Take the learning outside

Consider taking a walk and doing your school that way. Exercise helps a ton with fibromyalgia. It doesn’t have to be crazy strenuous; it can just be as simple as a walk. In addition to that, sunshine and being in nature can totally improve your mood.

To take school outside, stock up on clipboards from the dollar tree, and consider nature studies or listening to audiobooks on a Bluetooth speaker while you walk as a family.

4. Have a YouTube or Netflix documentary day.

YouTube and Netflix are the power tool when you’re homeschooling with Fibromyalgia!

If you were in public schools like me, surely you remember the days where we watched movies on the giant TV on the cart thing. Obviously, they don’t lug around the big television anymore, but I’m pretty sure they still have some movie or documentary days… and so can we.

YouTube and Netflix are almost always available, and it’s an easy method to manage straight from your bed. You can even cuddle up together!

Just plan a playlist ahead of time using your favorite channels and maybe some questions that you can ask or have them write about afterward.

5. Year-round homeschooling

This is an ideal scheduling method for parents homeschooling with Fibromyalgia.

We use year-round homeschooling because it’s super flexible and allows for a lot of mini-breaks throughout the year. It’s easy to swap out days and it’s also great for people that have to stick to a schedule with their curriculum without deviating.

We’re pretty flexible and eclectic, but if you have something that can’t be changed or skipped over, this is a great way to still get in all your days but take some days off throughout the year during flare-ups.

6. Freezer meals and meal planning

This can be a lifesaver on the hard days. If you spend a single day preparing a few freezer meals, you’ll be good to go for the next month or two. On those hard days, you won’t have to worry about what to make or how long it will take. Consider teaching older kids how to make them from the freezer for you (yay for life skills)!

Meal planning is also a huge help if you’d rather try that. When you know what’s going on for the week, you can prepare everything in advance. Like chopping vegetables or preparing pre-cooked meats. This will make it easier to throw dinner together on the nights that you’re exhausted.

Just a little planning to survive when homeschooling with Fibromyalgia

That’s all you need when you’re homeschooling with Fibromyalgia… prayer, planning ahead on the good days for the bad and taking a break from school when you need it.

I know planning isn’t necessarily fun, but just one day a month of planning some meals or some backup lessons as mentioned above, and you’ll be all set for the hard days. Keep praying and keep focusing on the blessings you’ve been given and know that you’ll get through this!

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Jill Camacho blogs at Autism Homeschool Mama.com She is a Christian, veteran, mom to two boys, and creator of social skills & homeschooling resources.

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They were fighting…again. When you have eight kids sometimes the bickering can seem relentless.  The mere thought of trying to referee another disagreement had me on the verge of tears.  

I know that there is much my kids can learn through sibling rivalry, but at the moment, my thoughts were more like visions of letting them beat the tar out of each other.  

In fact, there are times I have actually done that and it didn’t turn out as poorly as you might think, but that’s a story for another day. 

The point is motherhood can become wearisome for countless reasons, but these moments (and their reasons) are never, never beyond God’s reach nor outside of His sovereignty.

I’ve found much encouragement as a mom in God’s word, but one of my favorite passages over these 27+ years of mothering has been Galatians 6:7-10 (NLT):

Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.  So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.

I’ve actually used this passage in dealing with our kids’ sibling rivalry.  For several years we had a garden, so my kids understood that kind of metaphor.

 I would ask them, “If you plant corn seeds, will you harvest green beans?” Of course not.  “It’s the same thing in relationships.” You will harvest what you plant.

It’s not only true for relationships, but it’s also true in pretty much every area of our lives, including raising our children.

HOW TO NOT GROW WEARY IN YOUR HOMESCHOOL

Mothering is no small task…not if you want to do it well.  In fact, if it brings you to your knees, you are probably doing it right.

In a culture that’s all about “me”, it can be easy to fall into self-pity about the work it takes to be a good mom, but there is a much, much bigger story going here.

It’s often hard (read “impossible”) to see because this walk is a walk of faith and the Bible describes faith as “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do NOT see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

If we could see it, it wouldn’t be faith. So we (by faith) keep planting good seeds.  

The passage above clearly tells us that this principle displays God’s justice and while Sally Sue next door may seem like she can “do it all”, I can pretty much guarantee that she is making unseen sacrifices and eventually the seeds she is sowing will be revealed at harvest time.

But enough about Sally Sue.  

Each of us is responsible for our own “backyard”.

So what seeds are you planting in yours to not grow weary in your homeschool?

Rest assured that at the right time you WILL reap a harvest if you do NOT give up. So don’t grow weary in your homeschool, sweet mom!

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Durenda has been married to Darryl since 1989 and is a mom to eight kids (born 1991-2004).    This journey of motherhood has been and continues to affect her deeply. She has always thought of motherhood as the ultimate career, but had no idea the countless ways that it would deepen and humble her.  Many, many times she found herself unsure and struggling and discovered God’s strength at the end of her rope. She was the grateful recipient of copious amounts of God’s grace that came when she took the time to slow her heart, even for a short time, and listen for His still, small voice. Her greatest joy is helping moms discover that grace as well and with it, the courage to put their full trust in Him, knowing He will NEVER leave or forsake them.  Durenda has written The Unhurried Homeschooler-a simple, mercifully short book on homeschooling and Unhurried Grace for a Mom’s Heart.  She is the owner/writer/host of her blog and podcast, Durenda Wilson.

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As a homeschool mom of 20 years, I know what it can be like. I know the boredom, the fatigue, the weariness that can set in. But I am here to encourage you to hang in there!  Today I have 5 homeschool encouragement tips for the veteran homeschool mom that will help you to keep on.

Homeschooling is hard work and sometimes we can get so caught up in the daily grind that we forget why we are doing it in the first place.

We forget that these years when our children are home with us are a blessing to be cherished.

God has done amazing things through your homeschool and He will be faithful to carry you through the remaining years.

If you have been homeschooling for more than 10 years or so, you know what it is like to have older kids who maybe have already graduated, and younger ones who might still be learning to read.

It is challenging to say the least!

5 Homeschool Encouragement Tips For The Veteran Homeschool Mom

Below I want to share with you some tips that I pray will encourage you to keep your eye on the prize — to finish the race — knowing that God is not only using these homeschooling years to grow and bless your children but you as well.

Tip #1: Be grounded in the Truth.

Make sure that you are grounded in God’s Word every day. There is so much out there telling you what to do, what to believe, how to live, that you need to make sure that you are looking to God’s Word as your ultimate guide.

If you need some help figuring out how to have a daily quiet time, feel free to check out my post here. I also covered how to have a consistent quiet time in a recent podcast. You can listen to that here!

Homeschool Encouragement Tip #2: Don’t be afraid to try something new.

When you have homeschooled for at least 10 years, you probably find yourself using the same curriculum over and over again. You don’t want to spend the money to buy something different when you already have all this curriculum on hand.

Now I want to encourage you that there are times that it is ok to try something new.

Maybe you have a child that is struggling with the curriculum you have always used. It may be necessary to use a curriculum that better fits their learning style.

Or maybe your homeschool has gotten into a rut and the kids are struggling with boredom. It may be time to switch things up a bit and add something new into the school day.

I did this recently. We had an extra-long holiday break that was extended due to illness. Getting back into our homeschool schedule was a struggle.

So I decided to switch out what I was doing for science and I bought a set of Jonathan Park audios (referral link). It was just what we needed!

My kids are loving the audios, having fun, and we are learning some science together too. Score!

So don’t get so set in your ways that you are afraid to try something new. It may be just the thing your homeschool needs to revive everyone’s interest and motivation.

Tip #3: Make time to do something you love.

This tip is for you! If you are a veteran homeschool mom who has been at it for 10 years or more, you know how much it takes out of you.

That is why it is important to take some time for yourself to do something you love.

What do you enjoy doing? Reading? Writing? Painting? Cooking? Crocheting? Knitting? I want to encourage you to decide on something that you enjoy doing and make sure you work that into your week.

It may not happen every day, but it is important that you make time for this as often as you can. You need that time to get refreshed and renewed so that you can continue on this homeschool journey.

Homeschool Encouragement Tip #4: Read a good book together.

Reading aloud has been a big part of our homeschool. Not only can you teach your kids a variety of subjects through read-alouds, but it can add a bit of fun and adventure to your days.

There are tons of great book lists that you can glean from to choose a great book to read together.

Set aside sometime in the afternoon or before bed to read with your kids. I guarantee you, they will look forward to it every day!

If you need help getting started with a read-aloud time, I have a great resource to get you started – The Homeschooler’s Read-Aloud Guide.

Tip #5: Go back to your “why” often.

If your homeschooling journey has been long and you still have a ways to go, it is easy sometimes to forget your “why”.

You get all caught up in the daily grind, getting all the homeschool work done, keeping the house in order, and food on the table, that you lose the joy and the motivation you once had.

I want to encourage you to stop now and write out your “why”. Maybe you did this way back when you first started homeschooling. If so, then pull that out, make a copy of it, and place it somewhere you will see it every day.

If you have never written out your “why”, then take some time now to write it out. Why are you homeschooling? What about homeschooling has kept you in it for the long haul?

Write this out so that you can keep it to read again later. Make a copy of it and place it somewhere you will see every day.

Add a reminder on your calendar every month or so to read over your “why” statement again. For some reason (I blame it on veteran homeschool brain – is that a thing?), I easily forget this “why”. I lose focus.

Get a reminder in place to remind you to revisit this “why” statement. It may be just the encouragement you need to keep on keeping on!

I hope these 5 Homeschool Encouragement Tips have been an encouragement to you – whether you are just starting to homeschool or have been homeschooling for 10 or more years.

Do you know a veteran homeschool mom who is struggling? I encourage you to reach out to them, share this post, and then give them a word of encouragement.

Let’s promise to do as Jesus commands us to do — to encourage one another daily — so that we can finish this homeschooling race well!

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Sheri Graham is the founder of SheriGraham.com where she writes and creates products to help women live intentionally. Sheri is the author and creator of over sixty books on homeschooling, homemaking, and family. Sheri lives in the Midwest with her husband and children. Connect with Sheri: Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Google+, Youtube

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I confess I’ve had those days as well. You know, the ones where you wonder “Why am I doing this?” The ones where it seems the best alternative for your children is to drive up to the nearest school building and drop them off. It’s not that our children are awful. No, we’re awful parents.

I can’t count the number times I sat in the bathroom with my children crowded around the door outside. They may have wondered if I’d ever come out. I wondered the same thing.

How could I forget the invert and multiple rule of fractions? My son will never be able to go to college. The only job he’ll be able to get is flipping burgers and fries somewhere.

Well, maybe he could work his way up to shift manager.

Yep, we’ve all had those kinds of days. There will be more.

The good news is we make it through and our children do become productive adults. I do admit that sometimes I think it’s in spite of my efforts, not because of them.

When those days come in homeschooling and you ask ‘why am I doing this?’ Here’s how to know why!

When I began homeschooling my children, many thought it would be a breeze for me.

You see, I have a teaching certificate. I left a traditional classroom on Friday and began teaching in my home classroom on Monday.

It all started well. I had a class schedule, the desk was all arranged, the bulletin board with the calendar in place. 8:30 a.m. – Begin school. I even had recess time planned out. It went downhill from there.

The first month or so went as expected with bumps along the way and adjustments needing to be made. My youngest was two years old, so he played or napped while the older two were dutifully at their desks. Mom was more like a taskmaster than a mom.

Weekends were spent planning and preparing for the next week. I wrote lesson objectives, corrected homework, and made adjustments to methods. I had it down. All the requirements of teaching.

Soon one of my kiddos fell behind in a subject.

Oh, no. This wasn’t supposed to happen, right? We were a happy homeschool family. The children were to progress right along even more quickly with time left over for family baking and favorite craft projects.

Not us.

I now had one child sitting at the table after dinner to finish what was planned for the day.

Then my oldest complained it wasn’t fun. She didn’t have anyone to play with at recess and she was bored. She hated homeschooling and she hated me.

I pushed on. Dog-gone-it, I knew how to teach. These kids were bright and did well in the traditional classroom. There was no reason for the problems.

Whining and laziness would not defeat me.

At the end of the first year, the books had been completed but no one looked forward to doing this again.

How did our family survive? How did I survive?

WHEN I STARTED WONDERING ‘WHY AM I DOING THIS?’ I STARTED THINKING THROUGH “WHY” WE DECIDED TO HOMESCHOOL.

Through my teacher education program, I learned the “how.” I learned a lot about classroom management and methods of teaching. I soon admitted to myself I knew very little about education. Very little about “why.” Oh, yeah, we all knew that to get a good job and be useful, one needs an education.

During that first year of teaching my children at home, I learned homeschooling is not educating. Educating goes beyond knowing how to decode words and how to multiply with fractions.

The change began when my husband and I talked about the homeschooling disaster we had just lived through.

We talked about why we had started this new lifestyle and what we thought was most important for our children beyond high school graduation: It was for them to be godly and responsible adults.

It was then we realized that we weren’t raising children; we were raising adults.

It was time to fully understand our why. It was time to write our philosophy of education.

Please don’t let the word “philosophy” scare you. (Secret: I dropped out of Philosophy 101 after the first class.) It only means the thoughts and reasons behind what we do.

A philosophy of education is the thoughts and reasons why we teach our children.

If we begin teaching our children because of a problem in traditional school or the neighbors are doing it, we soon learn that reason will not sustain us long.

It takes more than that to make it through each day. After all it’s easy to assume that once a new school year has begun the problem will be gone. So if school at home becomes a disaster, as ours did, traditional school remains an option.

It wasn’t that simple for me.

Even though my head, that head which had all the teaching knowledge, told me I was failing, my heart told me I was to keep my children at home. I was to stay at home.

Returning to traditional schooling wasn’t an option for me. I needed something to cling to those days I was sitting in the bathroom.

What could I offer by homeschooling that another teacher couldn’t offer my children?

• Biblical knowledge – My children had attended a Christian school, but most of the day was still spent with academics as the focus. At home, we had the freedom to spend as much time on those things that supported the Christian learning we wanted our kids to have.
• Individual attention – Each person is created uniquely. Each of us has different ways of learning. No matter how a classroom teacher tries, there are still methods and routines to be maintained. When our child struggles with math, we can try different ways of learning, slow down the process, change material. In other words do what it takes to help that child learn.
• Family love – No one loves my children more than their dad and I. No one knows them better than their dad and I. Not only that, we wanted our children to know and love each other. Could they do that if they didn’t spend time together?

As I looked at this list, I began seeing a difference between “teaching” and “educating.” Teaching is completing a list of learning tasks. Educating is preparing for life.

Wow! For this trained teacher, that was an epiphany. It set all I thought I knew on its ear.

Our philosophy writing journey began.

We determined what we wanted our children to be able to do when they launched into the world. They were to be responsible citizens who served God wherever they were.

Also, we began to understand this took more than teaching how to write a three-point essay or knowing the names of the planets.

The place we started with as our why in homeschooling was our belief about God and the Bible.

This foundation gave us clarity of what we meant by serving God. It helped us to understand our role as parents in preparing our children to serve him.

If we wanted our children to be responsible, they did have to know certain facts and skills. To understand what facts and skills were important we set out to discover the meaning of truth, knowledge, and wisdom.

These questions helped us determine what facts and skills to teach.

After several weeks of doing this exercise, we answered the question of “why am I doing this?”

We could now answer people questioned us and our children when they complained. More importantly, we could answer ourselves as we sat in the bathroom crying, “Why, oh why, am I doing this?”

It was once said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any train will do.” Understanding our why will help us know where we are going. Sometimes the trip is rough. Sometimes we take detours. When we know our destination, we can get back on the right train and keep going.

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When she’s not tending chickens, peacocks, and donkeys, Susan K. Stewart teaches, writes, and edits non-fiction. Susan’s passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Her books include Science in the Kitchen and Preschool: At What Cost? plus the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. You can learn more at her website  Practical Inspirations. Join me and other homeschool moms at Harried Homeschoolers Facebook group.

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Do you struggle to make time for family discipleship? Discipling our children is one of the most important parts of homeschooling!

A few months ago, my boys and I were watching a sociology video, and deviant behavior was discussed. The show’s host cheerfully explained that any behavior that deviates from the norm is, by definition, deviance. She listed a number of behaviors that could be considered technically socially deviant.

I watched my teens’ faces as they realized that a Christian, vegan, homeschool family fit all the benchmarks for social deviance. At that moment I felt–again–the old familiar rush of panic as I wondered if I’m completely off my rocker for traveling the path less taken.

THE VALUE OF FAMILY DISCIPLESHIP IN YOUR HOMESCHOOL

I like to call the choices we’ve made for our family:

Intentional.

Purposeful.

Considered.

Carefully weighed.

I’d be lying, though, if I said that I always feel 100% confident about every choice we’ve made.

When high school rolled around I woke up a little panicky every night for the first few months, wondering if we’re doing the right thing. Can I really manage this homeschooling high school thing?

Homeschool Encouragement for Me

That’s when I remember that my husband and I feel strongly that to have the time to faithfully disciple our boys for Christ, homeschool is the best option for us. I’m reminded that this undertaking was prayerfully considered. I remember that the Lord doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called.

Looking back, I remember the many hours I’ve had with our younger two that I believe were productive for the Kingdom. We’ve read through the Bible together, discussing it, working on crafts, and notebooking about what we’ve learned. In every subject, we’ve discussed biblical worldview and how God’s word applies to what we’re learning. We’ve had the opportunity to use amazing Christian resources for each subject.

Our kids aren’t products–they’re souls. There’s no guarantee that they’re going to grow up loving the Lord just because I do. But as Christian parents, we’re called to disciple our children for Christ. Homeschooling allows me the time and space to do just that. I’ve had the opportunity to spend time with my kids over a number of years, pointing to Jesus in everything we do. What a blessing.

Homeschool Encouragement for You

Friend, when you worry overtaking the path less traveled, or you grow weary of traveling that path, pray.

Ask the Lord for perspective, for strength, and for endurance. He is so faithful to provide the strength we need when what we’re doing is in his will. When we rely on his strength and not our own, we can remember that this homeschool thing really isn’t about us at all, instead..

• We get to have the time to point the precious children we’ve been entrusted with to Jesus.
• Learn and grow in faithful family discipleship.
• Practice good stewardship as parents.

You and I, we’re playing the long game. We’re looking ahead to the years to come, and sowing truth into our children. Because let me tell you, our kids are important, valuable, and worthwhile. Just for today, take a deep breath, pray for patience, and work heartily unto the Lord in all that you do. It’s so worth it.

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Danika Cooley is a homeschooling mother of four, a grandmother, a curriculum developer, and a Christian author. Her site, Thinking Kids, exists to equip homeschool moms to teach the Bible and Christian history to their kids.

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As the homeschool year ends, we mothers often start losing much of the energy and creativity we had back at the beginning of the year. Sure, there have been some victories, but sometimes the same-old struggles can wear us down. We can be left wondering, once again, how to handle conflict in your homeschool.

I hate conflict. My name means “peace,” so, with any conflict that has come my way, I have one prayer and aim – peace, and relational connection. However, I’m working on a theory.

Sometimes conflict isn’t all bad. In fact, if walked out well, how we handle conflict with our children may end up being some of the shining moments of our journey in motherhood. I’ve done it all wrong plenty of times, but I desire for God to do a work in my family and me, so I’m taking notes, and trying to learn.

HOW TO HANDLE CONFLICT IN YOUR HOMESCHOOL

The Upside of Conflict

You see, we’ve got these living, changing, imperfect (sometimes downright sinful!) little folk who live with us. They are exceptionally short on life experience and need a whole lot of sanctification.

Often, they feel a need to argue about every rule, schedule change, or parental decision. Again – they are exceptionally short on life experience.

As they age in our homes, they’re still trying to figure out where they, personally, land on what they believe. Perhaps they’ve gone on a good while following your parental leadership, but then get hiccuped by something they don’t like, or don’t understand. So… bam. They give you grief, and there you have it: conflict.

But let me ask you. In your life, did you ever have to wrestle through an idea, belief, concept? Sure, we all have, right?

Now I’m going to put this out there. This conflict I’m referring to isn’t your typical two-year-old revolt against authority. My belief is that young children just need to be firmly and kindly introduced to the concept that mommy and daddy are the authority in the home, and the little young one is…not.

My experience has been that this produces a child who feels secure and happily finds his place in the family dynamic. But as our youngsters grow, and we’re seeking to instill in them truth outlined in Scripture, our children will typically reach a point with which they struggle or test the boundaries. Often these struggles are not conducted in a very mature way.

This is where conflict brings an excellent opportunity to lead our children in truth.

Redemptive conclusion to any conflict with your child doesn’t usually “just happen”. It requires intentionality on your part. That’s why I think it is essential that mothers be good leaders.

Guidelines for How to Handle Conflict Management in Your Homeschool

Let’s look at some ways to be intentional about conflict:

1. Realize children are going to test boundaries in order to test YOU and push YOUR buttons.

Many times those young people are TRYING to get a rise out of you. Don’t give it to them.

2. Rejoice during conflict.

I know, sounds counterintuitive, right? But really, it is better to have the issue out in the open and on the table, than it is to have the conflict hidden, simmering in your child’s heart. Conflict (even anger and hostility) means that someone cares (sometimes very deeply) about the situation.

As difficult as this is, anger is a far better problem to have than apathy. When someone doesn’t care about the relationship, they shut down and retreat to a cold, and disinterested separation. This means you have lost influence, and there is often no returning from this latter stage of relational breakdown.

This verse comes to mind: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a sprit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” Galatians 6:1.

Conflict gives us the opportunity to restore our children to right living and relationship. 

3. Pray.

I love the passage in Isaiah 40:11 that ends with the words “He [the Good Shepherd] will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.”

You are not alone on this mothering journey. God, Himself will gently lead you and you need only to ask.

Whenever conflict happens, it brings the potential for greater surrender to the Lord. Pray that you will have the wisdom to draw your young person to God.

4. Be Quick to Listen.

While many youthful conflicts will be a result of your child’s resistance to your authority, be humble enough to examine whether your leadership is just and approachable. Maybe there really are areas you could tweak and present in a better way.

Taking the time to hear your child out gives you as a parent the opportunity to clear up misunderstandings. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” James 1:19.

5. Bring in Scripture.

Conflict should never occur because mom is offended.

As Christian parents, household rules and boundaries should be solidly based on Scriptural principles. Speak frequently about why your family has established the boundaries and family rules in your home. Remind your children that the Word of God is the rule and standard for all of life and practice.

Related: TRAINING YOUR CHILD’S  HEART WITH SCRIPTURE

6. Reaffirm that you are FOR your child.

Communicate that you are FOR his or her growth and maturity. Speak gently and kindly to your child’s heart. Most conflicts going on with a young person are really about what’s going on inside of them; the struggle they are having in following your leadership and decisions, the struggles they are having in forming convictions, etc.

Praise God you are placed there at that moment to help your young person come to a right and godly perspective!

So, choose the high path and predetermine not to engage your young person in combative conflict. Instead, lovingly walk through the conflict with them, doing all you can to emerge on the same team.

7. Pray together, asking for a blessing to rest on your child.

Talk and work through this conflict until an agreement is reached, and the connection is re-established. If for some reason, time demands you must stop before the matter is resolved, kindly let your child know that you want to continue this conversation, it is important to you and set at least a general time to resume the discussion.

If your child doesn’t see things your way, and the conversation is beginning to sour, seek to end on as positive a note as possible and share that you plan to spend time working through resources (books, videos, etc) to bring some light to the conversation.

In some cases, you may need to bring in other mature brothers and sisters in Christ (God places us in The Body for a reason) who can help both you and your child, to learn better habits of respectful communication.

Remember, the goal of how to handle conflict in your homeschool should be to urge your child to embrace a Godly perspective and re-establish a heart-to-heart connection between the two of you.

Rather than running away from conflict, and trying to avoid it altogether, press into it and seek to establish healthy patterns of conflict resolution. Rather than quarreling, learn how to listen, and embrace respectful dialogue, even while standing your ground, and enforcing predetermined rules and standards for your family.

If you want your child to learn how to negotiate through heated emotions, you need to take the lead and demonstrate how to do that yourself. May our Lord grant you His wisdom and His peace.

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Brook Wayne is an author and conference speaker and homeschooling mother of nine. She is a co-founder of Family Renewal, LLC and co-author of the book, Pitchin’ A Fit! Overcoming Angry & Stressed-Out Parenting.

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Are you looking for some homeschool encouragement to finish your homeschool year with fun?

Spring is calling…..

Once the warmer temperatures arrive, we are all ready to enjoy the beautiful weather! It is easy to fizzle out before finishing your homeschool curriculum.

Actually it’s easy to fizzle out and need a little fun at any point in your school year, so keep these ideas in  mind for adding some fun to those days!

If you happen to find yourself struggling to stay focused toward the end of the school year, I want to offer 5 easy ways you can help your kids (and you!) finish your homeschool year with fun.

Let’s talk about curriculum for a sec…

I will be the first to admit that we do not finish every single curriculum every year – even those we enjoy!

I purposely save some activities for summer because I want us to “do” a little school each week.

That being said…sometimes we just need a break- especially when the weather is gorgeous!

The solution for us is using a few time-savers to first complete our “have-to” curriculum (which are reading, math, and writing at our house).

Here are 5 easy ways to finish curriculum in less time and in fun ways.

 1. Let them answer orally.

Often times, the physical handwriting is what takes more time. While it is great to practice handwriting, it doesn’t have to be with every single lesson.

Let your kids share their answers out loud, rather than write them down. It is so much faster! 

You can get their lessons done and still have time for a picnic lunch at the park.

2. Let them test out.

Yes, test (GASP!). 🙂 Before you start a lesson, see if your kids already know how to do the basic assignment.

If so, challenge them to do one of the harder problems. If they are successful, ask yourself if they really need to keep practicing.

Often times, I just consider children to “test” out of needing more practice if they can show they have mastered that skill.  Once a skill is mastered, your kids are ready to move on to the next lesson.

3. Put them in charge of the minimum assignments.

Let your kids know the assignments for the week. Maybe set a minimum number of lessons to do a day before screens come on.

It is a terrific way to practice responsibility (and also frees Mom up from having to remind them again…and again).

4. Give yourself permission to play.

Some days, no matter how hard you try, learning just isn’t going to happen (and neither is the laundry). On those days, it is completely OK to just let it go.

Sometimes we just need permission to PLAY. 

Days like this are a good time to play with the kids and do whatever it is that we need to do in order to recharge. For us, that is usually to get outside, turn on some music, give hugs, and watch a movie together.

Besides, even activities involving board games, puzzles, nature walks, and bird watching all are wonderful brain-engaging activities!

5. Reserve time for child-led learning.

When your “have-to” curriculum lessons are done, your kids have time to study something they want to learn!

One option is to finish your homeschool year with child-led learning activities.

An independent study is a terrific child-led learning activity. The kids each choose a topic to study. Then, they present what they have learned to a real audience (your family, friends, or even social media if you want).

Bonus Benefits of Child-led Learning Projects

• By inviting your kids to choose an independent study about something they want to learn, they instantly become excited and motivated to “do” school.
• When your kids study in areas of interest, they naturally move beyond basic knowledge to higher levels of brain-engaging activities.
• They will often be curious and motivated to extend the knowledge to an expert level of thinking skills. Cool, right?
• Independent study is a powerful way for your kids to fuel their own strengths and become experts in a topic they enjoy!

Doing an independent study is also a terrific way for your kids to extend what they already know:

• Reading skills are used to research
• Writing and spelling skills are needed to communicate his findings
• Vocabulary often increases as your children learn new information
• Math and art often need to design how to present the information.

BTW – It can actually replace the curriculum if your state gives you the option to do that!

The ONE secret to finishing your homeschool year with FUN – make it about them!

• Get them involved in finishing the homeschool year. Checklists work wonders at our house, btw.
• Invite them to plan your Fun Fridays (Pinterest is our favorite place to find inspiration).
• Kids LOVE to take ownership, so ask them what they really want to study.
• Ask them what they would be excited to spend time learning each day.

To make it easy for you, I have a kids’ action sheet where they can write down what they want to learn.

We do this activity a few times a year, and their answers reflect what excites them at the moment. It is perfect for their scrapbooks, too. 😉

Why making it about them works:

Each of us have unique strengths and weaknesses, and we naturally want to spend more time where we are strong. No one likes struggling, right?

When we let them say what they want to learn, homeschooling extends waaaaaay beyond the curriculum.

When the kids are directly involved in planning to study things that motivate them to learn, we can all finish the homeschool year in fun ways.

Now it is YOUR turn:

What is a topic your kids would want to study next?  Tell us in the comments!

*****

Amy Michaels inspires kids to enjoy reading great books with fun activities. Learn more at BookBrilliantKids.com

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There are some powerful ways that new homeschoolers can find encouragement as they begin their journey. 

Making the decision to homeschool isn’t always easy. When you’ve finally taken the plunge, you may feel super excited to get started. Then, the reality of it all sinks in, along with the feelings of overwhelm and loneliness.

Quickly you find yourself as a new homeschooler needing encouragement. You may even start to second guess your decision, wondering if you’ll ever be able to sort through it all.

Never fear! Hold on to hope!

Whether you are beginning in the early years or taking a deschooling path as you transition from public school to homeschool, you will find these tips and resources powerful ways to discover the support you need to feel confident as a new homeschooler.  (These tips are also great even if you’re not NEW to homeschooling!)

5 Powerful Ways New Homeschoolers Can Find Encouragement

1. Local Support

Ask around in your community about homeschool co-ops and groups as they can be a powerful way new homeschoolers can find encouragement.

Having local homeschool contacts can be extremely helpful in navigating state homeschool laws, as well as getting a feel for how the local school district deals with homeschoolers.

For example, when we made the jump from public school to homeschool, I was blessed to have a local mom hold my hand throughout the process.

Our state (Pennsylvania) is quite strict in its homeschool regulations and the thought of creating a homeschool portfolio terrified me. My friend was a tremendous source of encouragement and guidance as I became accustomed to this new world.

2. Podcasts for New Homeschoolers to Find Encouragement

There is something special about putting on a pair of earbuds and tuning out from reality for a bit as you complete chores or relax on the porch.

Podcasts with homeschool themes are jam-packed with valuable information and encouragement. You can get tips and tricks from homeschool moms who have been there and done that!

One of my favorite homeschool podcasters is Pam Barnhill. She has three podcasts (Your Morning Basket, Homeschool Snapshots, and The Homeschool Solutions Show). I have the honor of being the 2018 guest host for her Homeschool Snapshots podcast (squeal!). You will find such refreshment and peace knowing that you are not alone in your homeschooling journey.

A few of my other favorite homeschool podcasts that I highly recommend are Julie Bogart’s Brave Writer podcast and Colleen Kessler’s Raising Lifelong Learners. Such amazing awesomeness to soak up!

3. Facebook Groups

Need an easy way to find other homeschoolers who just get what you are going through? Join and get involved in homeschool Facebook groups! These communities can be absolutely fabulous for helping you find the answers and support you need, especially when you are having one of “those” days.

I highly recommend my Rock Your Homeschool! Facebook group. Our community was created specifically as a place for friends to join for homeschool encouragement and support. We have share threads for motivation and inspiration, as well as opportunities to ask questions based on your current situation.

4. Blogs 

Oh my stars! There are so many delightful blogs dedicated to helping new homeschoolers to find encouragement, support, and resources.

Simply do an online search and you will discover a sea of ideas and ways to thrive in your homeschooling adventures.

Of course, I highly recommend my own site, Rock Your Homeschool (ahem!). My friend, Jen, shares marvelous advice for working homeschool moms at Practical, By Default.

If you are homeschooling boys, Michelle (Homeschool Your Boys) is the lady with the answers (and I say this as the mom of five boys!).

My point is that you can find specific homeschool help from moms who care and want to share their experiences and knowledge.

When you find a blog you love, bookmark it and subscribe for updates. You will be so glad that you did!

5. Books

Homeschoolers are so fortunate to have an amazing selection of resources to choose for encouragement.

Sarah Mackenzie’s Teaching From Rest is simply a must-have in your homeschool mom reading basket.

Pam Barnhill’s Better Together will help you discover how to customize your homeschool morning to create special moments as you simplify your homeschool.

Durenda Wilson’s The Unhurried Homeschooler provides invaluable reminders to slow down and enjoy your homeschooling journey.

 I truly hope that these 5 Powerful Ways New Homeschoolers Can Find Encouragement place you on the path towards encouragement and delight.

Which of these suggestions do you feel will be the most beneficial to you?

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Amy Milcic, a homeschool soccer mom to 5 boys, believes that you can have homeschool fun as you boost learning, relationships, & life. She shares resources & support to help you shine as you rock your homeschool.

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