The Character Corner

Purposeful Parenting. Building Godly Character.

5 Practical Tips To Help Your Teen With Time Management

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How can I help my teenager with time management? If you find yourself asking this question, you are not alone. Many books have been written on the subject of time management. There are many different strategies to help your teens learn essential time management skills. Here, we will briefly examine five tips to guide you as you begin the time management training process.

5 Practical Tips To Help Your Teen With Time Management

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1. Understanding the need for time management skills for your teenager

The challenges confronting our children are unlike those faced by recent generations. As our children grow older, more independent, and gradually move out from our protection, they are bombarded with a host of temptations and distractions.

Stephen Covey’s classic book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, urges us to “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Homeschool graduate Christos Dimoulis’s insight can help us understand our teenagers’ perspective:

“When it came to time-management, my biggest challenge was distraction. Social media is one example. My Facebook account wasted countless hours of my time. I developed a habit of leaving my work to check my feed every five minutes.

“In what could legitimately be called an addiction, I found it increasingly difficult to focus on my assignments. I shudder to think of the opportunities I would have missed had I traveled through the black-holes of Instagram and Snapchat….”

Christos speaks for many teens today. Although it can be helpful to limit their access to electronic devices, it is critical that we help them learn how to handle those devices responsibly. (That topic alone could fill another book.)

2. Remember Every Teen is Unique

Don’t be surprised if you discover that the time management strategy that works for one child proves totally ineffective with another. Each child is unique. Just as there are a variety of learning styles, there are also a variety of time management styles. This leads us to the next tip…

3. Focus on Results Rather Than Methods

Wondering what methods students could apply to improve their time management skills? When my firstborn son was still in homeschool, I invested hours coaching him on time blocking on digital calendars, the Kanban approach, paper planners, and more. As I wrote this post, I asked him what advice he would offer to parents seeking to help their children become effective time managers.

His response carried a bit of a bite, but I think he’s right. He said we shouldn’t worry about what method our children use; instead, we should focus on results. Introduce your children to a variety of methods, (memories of our time management training sessions flash through my mind), but give them the freedom and flexibility to adopt whatever system works best for them.

4. Time Management Tip: Give Your Children Deadlines

As home educators, we have the ability to be flexible. We can establish what we believe to be the best learning environment. If your children are involved in outside classes or activities, they probably encounter assignments with fixed due dates. That naturally gives them the opportunity to practice the art of time management.

Children need a balance of both freedom and structure. Even if they have deadlines outside of your homeschool, be sure to give them deadlines for the work they do at home, too.

5. Be Gracious When They Fail

Be firm, but also be gracious. Although the failure to meet a deadline may bring consequences (such as a lower grade or privileges temporarily revoked), be gentle. Like any new skill, time management takes practice to develop. In time, (and with much prayer), that fledging will take flight and you will see your mature time manager soar!

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Stacy Farrell is the author of more than ten books on a variety of topics, including time management, motherhood, manhood, philosophy, and writing. She speaks at homeschool conferences, writes for leading Christian homeschool magazines, and is the founder of Home School Adventure Co. Although she loves to write, speak, and teach, Stacy considers her role as wife to Roger and mother to two precious sons to be her greatest work and privilege. Learn more about her resources at HomeSchoolAdventure.com.

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tips to help your teen become a better time manager

 

3 Simple And Practical Ways To Teach Respect To Your Children

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Where do you start with teaching respect? Teaching our children respect is so important because it is foundational to all other relational skills, to the success of their relationships, and deference to God. 1 Peter 2:17 KJV reads, “Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.” See how it touches all areas of our lives? It is an important trait! So how do you teach your child respect?

Mother talking to daughter text on image reads 3 Simple And Practical Ways To Teach Respect To Your Children

3 Simple And Practical Ways To Teach Respect To Your Children

When we see that we are to show respect to all people, it means showing respect to our kids as well. We can teach them about respect and reinforce it by responding rather than reacting to them, studying or reading about it with them, and modeling it for them.

Teach Respect to Your Kids by Responding Rather than Reacting

When we feel threatened we tend to slip back down to a more primitive area in our brain — the flight or fight area. As this happens, we tend to react rather than respond. Anytime we react rather than responding, we can potentially come across as very disrespectful and potentially create an unsafe environment.

I know there is a lot of talk lately about “safe spaces” and poking fun. Within a home though, I truly believe a child should feel physically and emotionally safe at all times possible. We can be firm and correct without being disrespectful. Experiencing this insecurity, they too may get reactive and act out disrespectfully.

If you find yourself out-bursting often, try to stop and ask yourself what is the reason behind your intense reaction. Is it fear, lack of control, guilt, etc…? I’m going to share a personal story with you that’s a little bit embarrassing, but a perfect example. My youngest son took off the other day and hid outside behind my car. When I realized where he went to, I yelled, “Get your butt back in here NOW!” Oops. After a bit of a stand-off, I realized I needed to stop, breathe, and assess the situation.

I was afraid.

By reacting out of fear I ended up speaking disrespectfully towards him. I took a deep breath and instead told him, “If you aren’t willing to come back inside, I’ll need to call the police to come to help me (he is beyond my ability to physically control). I can’t simply let you run around here in the street alone. It’s unsafe, and I would be sad if something happened to you. I know you’re angry, but this behavior isn’t going to help you feel better.”

He came inside right away and he apologized for his behavior.

Easy Ways to Teach Respect Teach Respect To Your Kids

Keep in mind, when they are acting disrespectfully, what may be at the root of the anxiety-causing their reaction. After that tension is diffused, you can begin to work on talking about respect immediately following. Provide them with strategies for recognizing those feelings and handling them respectfully.

Ways to work on conditioning yourself to respond rather than react include prayer and journaling. Writing in a journal daily can help you notice areas (in retrospect) that you may not have given a second thought to otherwise. Prayer, of course, can do the same and expose many things that you need to know about yourself, as well as provide you ample encouragement and insight. You can also ask for your children or spouse to point it out for you when you’re doing it.

Studying God’s Word And Reading

The Bible is a great place to go for lessons in respect! Honestly, why not let it be the first place that you go? There is curriculum that you can use such as Little Lads and Ladies of Wisdom and Virtue from Kathie, plenty of Bible studies for both mom and children, as well as devotionals that speak to this topic. If you’ve got a house full of avid readers then that’s another option.

You can find plenty of psychology books for you; helping to understand how you’re reacting and how you can show respect and teach respect. There are plenty of storybooks for children as well these days. Encourage them to point out respect and disrespect in any of their books as you read. Being able to identify respect and disrespect is key in developing an attitude of respect. Additionally, encourage your children to do copy work that centers around the idea of respect and respectful behaviors.

Teaching Respect to your Children by Modeling Respect

Surely, you’ve heard the saying actions speak louder than words. Who hasn’t, right?! So, the thing is, as parents our example speaks the loudest. It’s louder than anyone else around our children! How we treat people is a key factor in teaching them about respect.

If we want them to understand that respect is a two-way street, they need to have practical application. When we mess up, an apology should be given, and the moment used to teach about respecting all people. In the future, when they “stick their foot in it,” you can refer to the times you’ve modeled making amends after disrespectful words.

How we treat our spouse is another place our actions speak loudly into the hearts of our children. Seeing a healthy relationship and respect in all circumstances, they build a strong foundation a strong marriage. In fact, they can also come to a solid understanding that respecting people you disagree with is 100% possible! It’s a marathon, not a sprint (and I’m running with you)…

Hopefully, you’ve seen clearly how learning respect is an integral part of your children’s overall social-emotional skill set. Try practicing one or more of the suggestions I’ve shared, and you should start to see some improvement in your kids’ (and your own) behaviors! If you tend to have intense reactions that are less than respectful, start there and do your best to remember to apologize; use it as a teaching moment. Consider a bit of reading about teaching kids respect, and don’t forget to keep a journal to help you see where you can grow. Remember, this is a lifelong process; for you both, and for your kids! It will take time, and God’s grace is sufficient!

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5 Keys For Growing Kids With Character (without Hypocrisy)

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Whenever I start talking to parents about being intentional in teaching their kids how to grow in Godly character, one of their biggest concerns is this. They know they themselves don’t have it together and they don’t want to be hypocrites in the eyes of their children. How parents can walk the talk when growing kids in character is a noble concern.

5 Keys For Growing Kids With Character (without Hypocrisy)

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Kids are very quick to see hypocrisy, so we do need to walk the talk, not just talk it – we do need to practice what we teach. But this does not mean that we have to have each character trait down pat in our life before we teach our kids. Poor kids if that was the case!! But do we have a right understanding of hypocrisy?

What is hypocrisy?

When there is a difference between what we say and what we do, that is hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is when we set out to look like we know it all – and yet we don’t. It is pretending that we have it all sorted, that we have arrived. Our kids will see that pretense and turn away from our instruction.

We know from our own lives that we do not want to learn from someone who is not walking the talk. So when it comes to teaching our kids Godly character we know we don’t want to be hypocrites. We want to be putting it into practice. We want to show our kids that we are growing in character.

And this is the key – it is about showing them that we are growing in character – not that we have it all together and not that we have made it.

Be a role model for growing in Godly Character

We need to show our kids, that we are serious about growing in character. I define character as the quality of our responses to people or circumstances, based on our moral values.

When we create an atmosphere of learning good responses as our normal family way, we start to create a culture of character in our family. This culture can only be healthy if it is based on growing rather than arriving.

Will any of us ever be fully, completely, totally – orderly, or punctual, or diligent, or creative? I doubt it! It isn’t about having arrived at achieving total success in any one of these character qualities, but rather a commitment to continue to grow and practice choices based on our moral values. This is what character development is about.

Our kids need to see us growing in character not that we have it already! Click To Tweet

5 Keys for Growing Kids In Character

Once we have a right understanding of what is and what isn’t hypocrisy, we can be comfortable with the idea of teaching our kids as we ourselves grow in the very same character lessons. But as parents, we need to take the lead in character development, and as such we become role models for our children.

1. Avoid hypocrisy by taking responsibility for your choices

How we respond to our children, to our spouse, to other people in our life is our responsibility. It doesn’t matter how stressed we are, how frustrated, how disappointed, or even how excited we are – we are still, and always, responsible to say and do the right thing. When we acknowledge that circumstances are not responsible for our choices then we will start to walk the talk when it comes to teaching character.

2. Be humble and acknowledge when you messed up

We will mess up and we will respond inappropriately. We will forget every ounce of self-control, patience, respect or responsibility (to name a few) somewhere along the line. An aspect of taking responsibility for our own choices is to be humble and acknowledge when we do wrong, and to take responsibility for putting it right. When our children see us acknowledging our mistakes and asking for forgiveness they will see that we are walking the talk.

3. Be honest and know where you need to grow

When we have an honest look at our own lives. When we can identify the areas where we need to grow, and then make a plan to work towards that area of change – our children will see our sincerity, see that we really are walking the talk when it comes to growing in character. We will avoid being that hypocritical family member altogether. They will see that we are applying the same standards to our own life.

4. Be accountable when growing in character

When it comes to teaching our kids character we hold the position of helping them, guiding them, holding them accountable. We will set up lifestyle structures to help them grow strong and walk alongside them. This is the same support we need.

This is the beauty of growing together in a family. The children can support you and hold you accountable even as you support them, and hold them accountable. When you choose this level of transparency your children will know you are walking the talk.

5. Pray for God’s help in growing and maturing in character

The thing is, we don’t have to do this on our own. I am often reminded of the scripture that says:  God’s grace is sufficient for me. Though there are many definitions of grace the one that resonates with my heart is “the influence of the Holy Spirit on the heart of man”. When the Holy Spirit hovers over us, he enables us to do the things that please God. God’s grace changes us.

It is with God’s grace that we can grow in character. It is with God’s grace that we can respond to people and circumstances in a way that glorifies God. All we need to do is pray.

How to overcome hypocrisy in your heart

Practice what you teach with your kids. Being a parent isn’t about having it all right. It is about living life with our kids, showing them what it means to be a person of character. And though we want to be consistent in living out our morals and values, one aspect of those very same values is that we are humble and grow.

Being a person of character happens over time. When our kids see us on our journey – failing, learning, and growing from those failures they start to see character development as a lifelong pursuit (which it is!) In the process, we have not only modeled character and avoided hypocrisy in our family, but we have also modeled a real learning journey. This is an example that they can truly follow.

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Growing Kids In Character

How To Help Your Kids Grow In Godly Character

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One of your top priorities as a parent should be to help your kids grow in Godly character. Our main purpose for homeschooling our kids has always been to influence them and shape their values while training them in character.

Character training prepares our kids to do better academically and is the most important fruit we can nurture in their lives. If our kids were taught nothing but character, they would be better prepared for life than those who are taught pure academics, but no character. 

How To Help Your Kids Grow In Godly Character

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While academics are important, we need to be careful that we don’t let academics distract us from what really matters!

As homeschooling parents, our kids are with us every day all day, which gives us the opportunity to notice their character flaws and spend time helping them to develop and grow in those areas where they struggle. However, we need to be proactive and have a plan in place for character training. 

Don’t just assume your kids will develop good character because you homeschool them, or because they go to Sunday School every week, etc. Since it is our job as parents to teach and train them in Godly character,  we need to have a plan for how we are going to do that.

How do you raise a child with a good character?

What are Godly character traits? Here are some ways to help your kids grow in Godly character.

1. Teach character by example

Our kids are always watching what we do, and how we respond. We have to set an example for them of Godly character before we can expect them to develop it. No matter what we say or teach, our kids are going to do what we do.

2. Teach character through correction

When your children are disobedient or unkind, it’s an opportunity to train them in Godly character. Take them to God’s Word and show them what He says about that behavior, and what pleases Him. This is a great way not only to help them develop Godly character, but it also gets God’s Word into their heart and mind.

3. Make character training a priority

Even though you believe it is important to focus on character training, if you don’t make it a priority early in the day, it is likely to get pushed aside. By scheduling it at the beginning of the day, you make sure it gets done.

4. Focus specifically on one character trait at a time through daily character lessons

Not sure which character trait to start with? Think about what is frustrating you the most in your kids’ behavior. That usually can be tied to a character flaw, so start with that trait.

How to focus on and teach a character trait

For an example, I will give ideas for how to teach self-control:

1. Teach the meaning or definition of the character trait

Self-control is doing what is right even when I don’t feel like it.

2. Teach what the character trait looks like

Self-control includes:  controlling your anger, not speaking words that are hurtful, getting up on time, doing what you are supposed to right away. It means you will control your tongue and your actions, and do what is right even when you don’t feel like it.

2. Teach and memorize a Bible verse that relates to the trait  Proverbs 25:28

Explain that when we lose self-control, we are like a city with broken down walls. In Bible times they put walls around their cities to protect themselves from their enemies. Those walls made the city like a fort. The walls were to keep the danger out.

When we lose self-control we are like a city whose walls are broken down.  When we have no self-control  it is much easier for the devil to tempt us to sin, and we have no protection from that temptation.

3. Teach with hands-on activities or games

Get Nerf dart guns or rolled-up socks to use for attacking. Divide the kids into teams, and let both teams make a fort to protect themselves. (couch cushions, chairs covered with blankets, big boxes, etc.)  Let them have a “battle” from the safety of their fort. Then have the two teams or opponents have another battle, but with no fort or protection.

Afterward talk about how they felt with no protection, and how much harder it was to keep safe from attack with no walls.

4. Roleplay right and wrong reactions

Let the kids take turns showing the wrong reaction (no self-control) and then the right one (self-control, good attitude) for each of these situations:

  • Your sister/brother calls you a name
  • You want a piece of candy and Mom says no
  • Your sister suggests doing something that Mom said not to do
  • Your brother is purposefully annoying you by singing in a loud, annoying voice even though you have asked him to stop.
  • A sibling said they would play a game with you, but now they won’t play.
  • You want to play, but Mom gave you chores to do first.
  • Mom won’t buy you the toy you asked for when you were at the store.

5. Give positive feedback and encouragement

When you see one of the kids showing self-control, praise them and let them know how pleased you are. That encourages them (and the other kids) to try to show self-control.

Developing Christian Character in Children

Using a chart and giving them check marks or stickers each time they show good character is a great way to keep you looking for the opportunity to give positive feedback. (rather than noticing the negative behavior more often than not)

(These ideas for teaching self-control were taken from Little Lads & Ladies of Virtue  and Lads & Ladies of Wisdom character curriculums.)

How do you teach a child character?

  • Teach through example
  • Teach through correction
  • Make character training a priority
  • Focus on a specific trait with daily lessons

Remember, character training is one of the most important things you can do for your kids!

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Building character in your kids

5 of My Best Homeschool Tips From 31 Years

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Over the years of teaching our kids, I have tried many different methods and techniques to make our school productive. It has been a learning time for me, and the Lord taught me many things along the way.

I’d like to share 5 of my best homeschool tips that kept me going strong for 31 years of homeschooling.

5 OF MY BEST HOMESCHOOL TIPS FROM 31 YEARS

1. Find a friend to encourage you!

Probably one of the BEST things that happened for our homeschool was finding a family that was like-minded and shared many of the same values as us.

First of all, it was a great encouragement to ME to have a friend that I could talk to.  She had kids about the same ages as mine and was also homeschooling. We had so much in common that we really clicked.

This friendship helped me get through some of those “I can’t do it any longer” days. We encouraged and supported each other.

Another equally important benefit is that this friendship gave my kids some friends!  We started doing field trips together, getting together for play days at the park, preparing programs that the kids did at the nursing home, etc.

Our kids NEED friends and contact with other kids.  For them to be happy in their homeschool, they need homeschool friends with the same values.

Moms, WE  also need friends, to encourage us when the going gets rough.

2.  Get and stay organized!

Your homeschool is only as organized as you are, Mom. Our kids don’t have the self-discipline to organize their day and plan their school work. God put US in charge of that. However, we can’t teach our children to be organized and have self-discipline when we aren’t a good example.

We can’t get frustrated with them for losing papers, and not getting things done when we haven’t set an example for them, or taught them the skills of organization and self-discipline.

School charts were always my best friend. Each “student” had a chart with the subjects that they needed to do daily, as well as any chores around the house, or music practice.

I would fill in their charts for the week on Saturdays, and on Monday morning they knew to look at their chart to see what pages, or assignments to do.

They liked knowing what they would be doing each day, and sometimes they’d work ahead just to have some free time at the end of the week.

Rewards for getting everything done for the week were a good incentive, as well, for those who weren’t quite as motivated.

If you have little ones, it’s VERY important to plan their time and activities as well.

I had older kids assigned to babies/toddlers for 30-minute segments of time to give me the chance to work with my early students who still needed my help with their school.

I also planned the toddler/preschooler’s time with different activities to keep them from getting bored. 

Mid-morning I would have the school kids do independent work so I could spend 30 minutes to read to toddlers, play with baby, etc. Keeping their love tanks full really makes a difference.

RELATED: 7 TIPS FOR HOMESCHOOLING WITH TODDLERS & PRESCHOOLERS

3. Always inspect what you assign.

Along with that I might add, assume nothing and assign everything! It’s easy to think that our kids will just do their jobs, or practice their piano.

However, we have to train them to have initiative and self-discipline to do what they ought to do.

More than likely they won’t practice their math facts if you don’t put it on their school chart.

Jobs that aren’t on their charts won’t get done,  AND if you don’t check their charts and their jobs, they may not be doing all you think they are. (Ask me how I know!)

Part of training our kids is being faithful to follow up on what they’ve been told to do.  When I forget or get too busy to check their charts for a few days, I find they haven’t been doing everything.

They need to know that we will follow-up and that when we make assignments they better get them done.

Probably the biggest mistake we make is hopping on the computer “just for a minute” while our kids are getting ready to start their schoolwork. Things are quiet, and we think they are working.

An hour later when we end our “minute” online we go check on them, and find them in their room playing, or reading books, rather than working.

We shouldn’t be surprised! They are kids and need our supervision and our oversight.

4. Be fully present.

This kind of goes back to the last point.

We MUST give our kids our undivided attention during school hours.  This can be hard, as there are many things to distract us, or that we feel we must do right now.

I suggest you turn your cell phone and computer off until school is done. This takes away the temptation to just  get on there to check something “real quick.”

It also conveys to your kids that school is important to you and that you are there to help them do their best. T

he years go by quickly, and we need to make the most of the time we have by focusing fully on the school work, while also working on character training.

7 WAYS TO STAY PRESENT AS A PARENT

5. Remember that the most important lessons you teach aren’t academics.

Daily you teach your kids important lessons by the way you live– how you respond to them, to difficulties, to irritations, your attitude, etc.

Our kids learn what is important to us by what it takes to upset us.  What are they seeing?

Moms, you are your child’s best teacher.  No one else loves your children like you do, and no one knows them as well as you do.

You are teaching ALL the time, not just when you are helping them learn academics. Academics will prepare them for life, but the lessons you teach them daily to build their faith and character are lessons of eternal value.

These are just 5 of My Best Homeschool Tips From 31 Years. What are some of your best homeschool tips?

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Building Godly Character In Your Kids

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Building Godly character in your kids is one of the best things you can do to prepare them for life! It is so easy to make sure that our kids are well educated in academics, and that they develop skills in music or sports while neglecting the vital area of character training. While character is one of the most important things that we can develop in our children,  it’s also a difficult and demanding job.

As parents, it is our responsibility to work hard at building and helping our children develop and grow in character. 

We are the best equipped for this job because we love them more than anyone else, and we know them best. We need to get excited about and have a vision for raising a generation of young people with good strong Christian character, who will stand out in the world, and be used of God.

Romans 13:14 says, “Put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ.”

This is a good definition of character: Christ-likeness. This must be very important to God, as it is a command. And of course, God equips us with the best resource for doing the job of teaching this – His Word.

Four important tips for building Godly character in your kids

building Godly character

1. Our children learn character from example

It is vital that we set an example of Godly character by the way that we live. Our kids are watching, and they will become like us. We can’t expect our kids to be honest if they see us lying about things. If we are always losing control and getting angry, we can’t expect them to have self-control. If we aren’t diligent about our work, how can we expect them to be diligent?

The hard truth is that our kids become what we are. It doesn’t matter what we say or teach – it’s what we DO that influences them the most.

Of course, we are going to make mistakes, and we have areas where we struggle. That’s okay! Just let the kids know that you are trying to do better, and asking God to strengthen you and help you grow in the area where you are weak.

Your kids will be encouraged when they see that you are willing to admit your mistakes, but that you also don’t excuse them, but keep working on them. That in turn encourages them to keep working on their character flaws.

2. Our children learn character through everyday life

Even when we are not intentionally training them in character, their character is being shaped and formed by what we allow them to do, or not to do. They are learning through every situation daily, including your reactions, your words, and your activities. Their character is also being shaped by where they are allowed to go, and what they also are allowed to watch, read, and do.

Keep in mind that all books push the author’s values, so be sure your kids are reading wholesome books. We were careful about what we allowed our kids to read, and tried to make sure they were books that were character building. Their character is being shaped by the books that you allow them to read.

Related: 15 Books You Need To Help You Teach Character to Your Kids 

You need to be aware at all times of what your kids are doing, and where they are. If you are present but distracted, you may end up surprised by some of the things your kids do. It’s your job to be there to guide, teach, supervise, and train.

Is it time-consuming? Yes! But it is also worth it because you are making sure that good seeds are being planted, that will spring up into Godly character.

Our children’s character is influenced by role-models.

We need to intentionally give our kids Godly role models that they can look up to. Reading biographies of great Christians with Godly character is one way to do that. You can also help them get to know missionaries when they visit your church. If possible, invite them over to dinner, and let your kids get to know them a little better. We encouraged our kids to get to know the missionaries at our church missions conference, and they enjoyed saving their prayer cards, praying for them, and writing to some of them.

By us pointing our kids to these Godly role models, it gave them more of a desire to grow up and serve the Lord. My oldest son is a missionary, and I believe that seed was planted in his little heart as a young boy when he met missionaries that we had over for dinner or ones he met at the church missions conference.

The other side of this is protecting your kids from poor role models. You don’t want them looking up to most movie stars or sports heroes as their role models.

5 pillars of Biblical Parenting

3. Our children learn character through discipline

When your child acts wrong or shows wrong behavior or attitudes, look at this as an opportunity to teach and train about what God says in His Word. Don’t look at it as an interruption in what you are doing. Teaching and training your kids’ hearts with Scripture is your job as a parent!

Let me just remind you again, that we shouldn’t let those chances go. It’s easy to get busy or distracted and miss a great opportunity to point our kids to what God’s word says about their behavior and to train them in Godly character. If you have a difficult child, you are blessed with even MORE opportunities a day to shape their character with each occasion that training or discipline is needed.

By the way, the more time you spend training, the less time you should have to spend disciplining. Teach your kids what is expected or allowed, then require the right behavior.

4. Our children learn character through planned, positive, constructive teaching

This is the key. Don’t leave it to chance, but make plans to purposely teach your children to be like Christ-like. Have daily character lessons when you teach them different character qualities, what they mean,  examples from the Bible of that quality being shown in a negative or positive way, and the results of the negative or positive behavior in that area.

Tell true to life stories relating to different character qualities. (Like the time I wasn’t “attentive” in school, and failed the test as a result.) We have opportunities daily to speak of character traits like kindness, perseverance, honesty, initiative, diligence, etc. These are words the kids should be very familiar with and hear often.

Think of the character training that our soldiers receive, and the discipline involved. Then think – we’re raising Christian soldiers for the Lord. What a job – what an opportunity!

Let’s raise a mighty army for the Lord!

If you need some practical help for building character in your kids, join us for the 30 days of building Godly character event! Get the details and grab your spot today!

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8 Tips for a New Mom (A Letter to My Daughter)

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When my daughter Ruth gave birth to little Tori, I was thinking about things I wanted to tell Ruth, so I  wrote a letter to my daughter with 8 tips for a new mom.

Below is the letter with some thoughts for her, from my heart.

(Victoria is an answer to our prayers, as Ruth struggled with infertility for over two years. If you missed my post about it, you can find it here:  Our “Christmas Miracle” Granddaughter’s Birth.)

Tips for New Moms

Ruth,

 I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am for you & Rob! I’m so glad that God chose to answer your heart’s desire and prayer, and blessed you with little Victoria. I love her to pieces already. I know that you are amazed with the depth of love you already feel for her as her mom. You are already such an awesome mom, and Tori is very blessed to have you & Rob as her parents!

There’s nothing quite like becoming a mother for the first time. It’s really something you can never be fully prepared for.

The hours spent holding, cuddling, and watching Tori change and grow are one of the many joys you will experience. You will also go through your share of challenges. Motherhood is rewarding, but it’s also hard.

 Even though I’ve had 8 babies of my own, I can’t tell you everything you need to know for what’s ahead. I wish I could give you a blueprint with plans to make everything easy and to give you a guarantee that it will always be smiles and fun. Unfortunately, though, each child is different, and no matter how you parent or what you do, there will be some rough times. I promise you though that the joys far exceed the pain of the hard times! And the hard times make you grow. (It’s amazing how kids bring out our character flaws!)

 I know this isn’t much, and you have probably already figured some of these things out, but I thought I’d share a few random thoughts that I hope will help you as you continue on this wonderful journey called motherhood!

Expect feelings of confusion, frustration, or even worry in motherhood.

And remember, it’s all right to cry when you get overwhelmed! Most new moms feel like crying — you suddenly realize you are responsible for this precious little human being, and on top of that your hormones are out of whack! After a few weeks, things will settle into more of a routine. You’ll begin to understand what Tori’s different cries mean, and see patterns. Your hormones will also settle down, which will help!

Don’t let it get to you when you feel like you don’t know what you are doing.

Most moms have no idea what they are doing! When in doubt, fake it! 🙂 Seriously, you will figure it out as you go along, and each day will get better.

Everyone will have opinions and advice for you.

They mean well and want to help. But keep in mind that there really isn’t a clear “right or wrong” when it comes to how often you breastfeed or if you should bottle feed, co-sleeping or crib sleeping, working or stay at home mom, or the “let them cry it out” vs. give them comfort methods. Trust your instincts and do what is best for you and Tori, and what Rob and you agree is best for YOUR family. When folks give their advice on how you should change or do things their way, listen to the advice, but don’t feel obligated to do it unless you think it will work for your family. Decide that you won’t be judgmental of other mom’s parenting choices and that you won’t let the opinions of judgy moms affect the choices you make.

Listen to your mom intuition!

God gives it to moms to help them know what their babies need. Go with it, and don’t let what you have read in a baby book, or heard from moms who have successfully raised several kids, trump that intuition. You know Tori best, and need to do what works for the two of you, which may be different than what worked for others.

Before Tori was born, you got tired of hearing people teasingly say “Enjoy your sleep while you can!” Now you know why they said it! 🙂

Now you are hearing the words: “Sleep when the baby sleeps”. You need to actually do that!!

I remember struggling with that and wanting to try to clean and catch up on things. Somewhere along the course of having 8 kids, I realized that things are never caught up when there’s a new baby. So rest when you can. Nothing is more important than caring for Tori and to do that you want to be well-rested so you can enjoy her. Everything else really will wait.

Realize that nothing will be the same again — and that’s not a bad thing!

Once you accept that, you will be able to let go of those things that don’t matter as much as they used to. Caring for the baby is more important than worrying about if the house is spotless, or if you are caught up on the daily laundry. If your house is sanitary and the baby is being well-cared for, nothing else matters during the first few weeks of being a new mom.

Babies cry no matter how good of a job you are doing.

Sometimes, they cry really hard and you think they’ll never stop. Like I already mentioned, it’s okay for you to join them, crying from exhaustion, frustration, hormones, or any of the many emotions that become a part of you when you become a mother. There’s comfort in reminding yourself that the crying will stop — it always does. (hers AND yours!) Also, comfort yourself by remembering that many of the tears you shed will be happy tears!

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and accept it when it’s offered!

I know Rob is perfectly willing to help with household duties and baby-related tasks if you just ask. You don’t have to do everything just because you’re the mom. A reprieve from baby duty is needed, even if it’s just to take a long, relaxing shower, take a needed nap, or have time alone with another mom or with Rob. You know I am here whenever you need help! Please feel free to text or call at any time when you need anything — especially after Rob goes back to work.

What a mother wishes for her daughter?

I am praying that you will be able to savor and enjoy these early days of getting to know Tori, and asking God to give you strength and wisdom not only for these days but for the years to come. God gave her to you in answer to your prayers, and I know He has special plans for her!

My heart is overflowing with joy for you and Rob, and with love for little Tori. I’m so excited that I get to be a part of her life, and will not only be able to watch her grow and learn, but also invest in her life. Children truly are a blessing and gift from God!

Love ya lots!Mom

If you want some encouragement to be intentional in your parenting, join me for this FREE 7-day Intentional Parenting Challenge!

Yes, I want to be an intentional mom!
 

Bible Reading Plans Your Children Will Enjoy

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As Christian parents, one of the most important things you can do fory our kids is to get them in the habit of reading God’s Word daily. However, it can be hard to know where to have them start, or how to set up Bible reading plans your children will enjoy.

Bible Reading Plans Your Children Will Enjoy The Character Corner#homeschooling #parentingtips #momencouragement #parenting #homeschooling #winninghearts #christianparenting #character

(This is an article that my son wrote about his desire that his children would not only  READ the Bible but also would ENJOY reading it.)

Bible Reading Plans Your Children Will Enjoy

As a father, I am gripped by two main thoughts regarding my children reading the Bible.

1. I want my children to read the Bible.

As a father of three children, of which the oldest is six, I have already come to the very clear realization that (naturally speaking) I am incapable of raising godly children.

I am constantly blown away by their brazen, unabashed selfishness. To be perfectly honest, the simple fact is that at least my two older children have inherited their father’s bullheaded stubbornness.

At times I’ve looked at one of my kids as they were fighting over something totally stupid and thought, “I have no idea how to ‘fix’ you.” Have you ever been there?

Sometimes I’ve explained to my daughter why something is wrong, and yet, when I’m finished, it is so obvious that she would still do it in a heartbeat if she thought she could get away with it.

There have also been many times I’ve gone to God in frustration and asked, “How do I get my kids to desire the right things? How do I change their selfish thinking?”

And that’s when God reminds me,

“Mike, you can’t raise Godly kids using natural means. Raising kids for Me is a supernatural work. You need to use the same thing that changed your life, your goals, and your desires. It is my Word that changes lives, not your logical explanations.”

I’ve come to the conclusion that the Word of God is my only chance to turn out godly children.

I cannot tell you how badly I desire for my children to read the Bible. I suspect that most of you who are parents feel the same way.

2. I want my children to enjoy reading the Bible.

How do you motivate children to read the Bible?

Just as badly as I want my children to read the Bible, I want them to enjoy doing it.

I don’t want Bible-reading time to be a drudgery for my children. The Bible is not a boring book. But most kids, growing up in our media-dominated world, don’t know that!

When my daughter reached the point where she was able to begin reading the Bible, I really struggled with where to have her read each day. What book of the Bible should a child read first?

There are so many great stories in the Old Testament. Genesis is absolutely loaded with great stories, but it also has a lot of really heavy reading. The same thing could be said of Exodus, Joshua, Judges, and every book from I Samuel to Job.

Let’s look at the New Testament. The Gospels look more inviting for a six-year-old reader. But then you run into the genealogy of Christ in the first chapter of Matthew.

In the book of John, you have some awesome stories, but they are surrounded by long wordy debates between Jesus and the Jews.

As a result, Beth and I usually ended up in Psalms. It’s obviously a great place to read, but I just felt like Beth was missing out on so many great stories. Most of all, the honest truth was, she didn’t like reading her Bible.

She is a “shy, introverted” person, but on more than one occasion, she looked at me with one of her dramatic expressions and said bluntly, “I just don’t really like reading my Bible.”

Somewhere during that time, I got a different idea. An idea of just picking a different story from the Bible each day and having Beth read that. I quickly discovered that that is much easier said than done.

Bible-reading time then became a burden on me.

I would pick a story, find it in my Bible, and then realize that it was much longer than I had previously realized, or it was much heavier than I was expecting.

After a little while of trying to read Bible stories, Beth and I ended up back where we had started… in Psalms.

Now, obviously, I’m not being critical of the Word of God. It is perfect and powerful, and it has exactly what my kids need.

I’m simply trying to illustrate that it can be very challenging to keep your kids excited about their daily Bible reading.

I certainly understand that there is something to be said for developing the character to just push through. To make yourself read the more challenging passages of Scripture. However, I don’t believe that should begin when a child is just starting to read their Bible.

I want my children to have kid friendly Bible reading plans they would look forward to and enjoy. That simply was not happening in my home.

As I struggled with Beth’s Bible reading, an idea slowly began to form in my heart and mind.

Could I use a monthly-goal model for a children’s Bible-reading plan? One that is based on stories instead of entire books of the Bible?

It was a daunting task. But I’ve never been smart enough to realize when I’m about to get into something that is way over my head… So I jumped in.

It took way longer than I anticipated. I started in Genesis. I worked my way through the major story-telling books of the Bible and broke each story down into bite-size chunks.

The story “chunks” vary in length from 2 to 24 verses.

The biggest struggle was finding good stopping points as I worked my way through each story. Some stories are completed in a single “chunk” while others are broken up into dozens of “chunks.”  The story of David’s life, for example, has over 50 “chunks.”

When it was all said and done, I had 679 story “chunks” to use in my children’s Bible-reading plans. Yes, I decided as long as I’m putting so much work into breaking the stories down that I might as well create more than one children’s reading plan.

I have created four levels of Bible Reading Plans Your Children Will Enjoy. I’d like to make them available to anyone who would like to use them.

THE FIRST LEVEL bible reading plan requires an average of 3 verses per day (around 90 verses per month).

Approximately 30 of those verses will be in Psalms and the rest will be Bible stories in fairly small “chunks.”

I believe the largest “chunk” for this level is 12 verses. In the case of a “chunk” of this size, I as the parent just determine how many days we will take to work our way through it in Beth’s Bible reading.

Needless to say, I could not break each story down into 3-verse segments.

Simply put, you as the parent will need to be involved, and if I may be frank if you don’t want to be involved, it doesn’t matter what Bible-reading program you choose, your children are not going to read the Bible faithfully.

You will have a monthly structure to help you, but you will also have tremendous flexibility.

You can read a story chunk the first day or spend a day or two reading through one of the Psalms assigned to the month.

The order doesn’t really matter except when you are reading through a story that has multiple “chunks.” Obviously, it would make sense to read that kind of story in chronological order.

Ultimately, you can really do whatever you want. You have lots of options in using these Bible reading plans your children will enjoy, and you can do what works for you.

Personally, I like giving my daughter some options to choose from. She enjoys having a say-so in her daily reading, and it’s good for her to be learning to make decisions within boundaries.

Kids' Bible Reading Plans

THE SECOND LEVEL Bible Reading Plan requires an average of 5 verses per day (around 150 verses per month).

Approximately 50 of those verses will be in Psalms, and the rest are Bible story chunks.

THE THIRD LEVEL Bible Reading Plan requires an average of 10 verses per day (around 300 verses per month).

At this level, we introduce the child to Proverbs while continuing to read in Psalms. Approximately 150 verses each month will come from Psalms and Proverbs.

As you can see, I am slowly trying to stretch their reading into different areas. Also at this level, some of the stories will be a little more challenging.

THE FOURTH LEVEL Bible Reading Plan requires an average of 20 verses per day (around 600 verses per month).

At this level the child will read through the entire book of Psalms once and through the entire book of Proverbs twice within the course of the year.

In an average month, about 350 verses will come from Psalms and Proverbs and the rest will come from story “chunks.”

Once again, you can see that I am trying to stretch them in their reading.

If I child completes this level, I would think that he is more than ready to try a teen and adult-level Bible-reading plan.

As of right now, my daughter is working her way through the first level. Because of her reading level, Beth is moving through level #1 much faster than the recommended 3 verses per day.

Beth is enjoying it, and Ruth and I absolutely love it! It has helped us so much, and I honestly believe that it could be a real help to you with your own children.

If you would like one or more of the children’s Bible reading plan printables that your children will enjoy,  sign up below.  

You will receive an email with the links to all four of the plans, and you can download the ones you want to use with your children.

Get your kids excited about reading God’s Word!
Sign up to get these Children's Bible Reading Plans Instantly!

Bible reading plans your children will enjoy

 

What to do About Homeschool Mom Burnout

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Homeschool mom burnout is the bleak side of homeschooling that people don’t like to talk about! Recently I had the opportunity to speak for a homeschooling support group in Michigan. When the meeting was over, I enjoyed talking to many of the ladies that were there. One lady came up to me and thanked me for sharing honestly about some of the difficulties I faced in my parenting and homeschooling.

She shared that she had been struggling with burnout. She mentioned that no one is very willing to say how they are feeling and that if someone had explained to her that those feelings were from burnout,  it would have really helped her to overcome.

What to do About Homeschool Mom Burnout

homeschool burnout

I love what Christine Field said about this very issue in her book “Help for the Harried Homeschooler“.

Burnout. We don’t have to define it; we know it when we see it,  or more accurately, when we feel it; the dread, the joylessness, the physical exhaustion, the sense of inadequacy or even failure. We have no vision for our work. We’re short and impatient with the kids.

Burnout is the bleak side of homeschooling, and at some point, the experience of almost every veteran homeschooler.

If we knew how common it was, if we were willing to talk about it more, perhaps we could help one another work through it. But we don’t want to talk about it. We don’t want to be seen as failures. Because of this, we feel a need to prove ourselves to other homeschoolers as well as to our skeptical relatives and the world at large. How are we doing? Great! Wonderful! What a joy our homeschooling journey is!

But pretending that everything is fine when it’s not does nobody any good. If burnout is a problem in our efforts to homeschool, we need to face it and deal with it–or risk everything for which we’ve sacrificed. How many homeschools are abandoned before their time, I wonder, because a burned-out-mom saw no other alternative?”

How do I stop homeschool burnout?

1. We need to be real with each other.

We should not always be complaining about how hard it is to homeschool and do all we’re supposed to. Those difficulties shouldn’t be our topic of conversation at “support group” meetings. However, it is so important that we are honest, and admit when we are struggling.

We ALL struggle. We ALL have days when we don’t want to homeschool anymore; days when the kids have bad attitudes and challenge us continually. That doesn’t make us a failure. It means we are normal human beings with weaknesses. Instead, it shows that our kids aren’t perfect, but are normal kids with a sinful nature.

When you are struggling or discouraged, admit it, and ask for prayer. Ask others for ideas of how they have dealt with those issues. Those of us who have been homeschooling and parenting for a long time should be there to help teach the younger ones and encourage them. (Sometimes the younger ones encourage ME with their energy and zeal!)

2. Realize that you can’t do everything!!

Often we unknowingly bring homeschool mom burnout on ourselves.  We try to do too much, and along with too many commitments, we have too little support.

Feeling stressed is a sign that you are doing too much. Cut back on what you can, and lighten up your schedule. Don’t keep pushing when your body is saying to stop. Be sure you make time to take care of yourself and renew yourself, or you will burn out. You can only push yourself for so long, and then it will catch you in the form of burnout. Slow down and ask God to give you strength, and to show you what your priorities should be, and what you can let go.

When I was struggling with homeschooling burnout, I would often quote this verse as a reminder to myself:

“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.”

Look to God as the source of your strength, and wait on Him daily to lead you in balancing what He has given you to do! 

One of the best things you can do at this time of your school year is to focus on building Godly character in your kids. Good character lays the foundation for academic success.

The most important job we have as parents is preparing our children for life. The best way to do that is to teach the development of Godly character, while also modeling it in your daily life.

….But we also know that it can be tough to be consistent in teaching Godly character.

You don’t see how you could have the time to add it in or you just don’t know where to start…..

so you don’t …. and now you’re starting to see the results.

  • Disobedience
  • Sibling Squabbles
  • Lack of patience

To name a few…

Well, I have great news! Beginning Mon Feb 1st you will get 30 days of back to back tips and practical encouragement to help you train your kids in character!

This event includes the following for the whole month of February:

  • Daily practical and encouraging posts
  • Tips for teaching the Top 10 Character Traits
  • The top character building tips for different ages & stages

Besides the daily help available to you from our contributors, we’re excited to connect you with some incredible homeschool companies who are offering you giveaways and discounts through the event!

Get the details below and join the waitlist so you don’t miss a thing! It all starts on Feb 1st! Let us help you make this your best homeschool year yet!

happy mom and daughter hugging. Text on image reads 30 days of building Godly character in your kids register now

 

 

 

7 Prayers Every Wife Should Pray

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We cannot be the wives we want to be without God’s power and help. I have found that when I pray for my husband, any negative feelings that I have had towards him, or any focus on things I feel he needs to change, just kind of disappear from my mind. It’s hard to hold grudges or stay angry at someone when you pray for them regularly! Prayer will turn your heart toward your husband as you ask God to bless him and work in his life.

Here are 7 Prayers Every Wife Should Pray to be the Best Wife She Can be!

7 prayers every wife should pray

1. Lord, help me to submit to my husband in all things as unto You.

2. Lord, help me to stay committed to our marriage vows with devotion, honor, and sexual purity.

3. Lord, equip my husband with strength and wisdom to lead and manage our family well.

4. Lord, help me to love and respect my husband and work diligently to care for the home you have provided us.

5. Lord, help me to find peace and contentment as a wife and be a wife of character, compassion, and wisdom

6. Lord, help me to develop friendships with Godly women who treasure their families and desire to have a deeper walk with You.

7. Lord, help me to wisely use the resources and gifts God has provided for our family, being faithful in the “little” things, and investing my time and energy in things that count for eternity.

Prayer is a KEY component of a successful marriage, so be sure to pray daily. Why not pray for your husband daily as well? It’s the best gift you can give him!

If you are like me, you want to pray for your family, but find yourself getting into a rut often, I will be sharing some thoughts about the importance of praying for your family, as well as practical tips for praying powerfully for them.

Join me for this and over 90 other sessions at the Makeover Your Life Summit! I will also be speaking on Overcoming Mom Anger, and 4 Big Reasons Homeschool Moms Cry. You don’t want to miss these!

You can still purchase an All-Access Pass for $39.97 and get access to all 8 tracks of the summit.

When you purchase it, you will also get access to the digital swag bag that is packed with amazing freebies!

AND…..if you purchase through my affiliate link I will send you a free download of my Biblical Tool Pack For The Angry Mom. ($8.00 value!) Just email me with a screenshot of your receipt.

Don’t wait – go REGISTER NOW!

I promise you will be blessed & encouraged with the life-changing sessions you will hear!

Join me in this  30 DAY CHALLENGE:

PRAYING SCRIPTURE FOR YOUR HUSBAND

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