Claiming Scriptures to prayer for your prodigal child, and partnering with God is something all parents can do. It is also the most powerful thing to do for that child. God’s Word has power, and when we claim those powerful promises of Scripture and pray them for our prodigal child, God’s power will go to work in their heart.

It will do things that we are not capable of doing because His Word has power that our words or actions don’t have.

God’s Word is a weapon that we have to use when praying for our children, and it is one that the enemy cannot prevail against! (Hebrews 4:12)

It is important to remember that even if your prodigal child doesn’t want to hear anything from God’s Word, they cannot stop you from praying His Word over them. 

Here are 20 Scriptures to Pray Over a Prodigal Child

1. John 8:32

Lord,  I pray that ____________will know the truth and the truth will set him/her free.

2. Romans 8:38,39

Thank you Lord, that nothing can separate  ___________ from Your love.

3. Romans 12:12

Lord, help me to be joyful in hope and faithful in prayer for  ___________.

4. Jeremiah 31:16

Father, thank You for the promise that my faithful work will be rewarded, and that You will bring  _______ back from the enemy.

5.Philippians 1:6 

God, thank You that You will complete the good work that You began in ___________.

6. Acts 26:18

God, I ask that You will open _________’s eyes, so he/she will turn from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to Your power.

These are powerful, Scriptural prayers to pray as the parent of a prodigal

7. I John 2:15

Lord, I pray that __________ will not love or enjoy the pleasures of this world.

8. Psalm 34:8

Father, I ask that __________ will taste Your goodness, and know Your kindness.

9. Ephesians 3:18,19

Help _________ to know and understand Your great for him/her.

10. Deuteronomy 6:5

Lord, I pray that You will draw ___________ back to Yourself, and help him/her to love You with all of his/her heart, soul, and strength.

11.  James 5:16

God, thank You for the promise you give in Scripture that You will answer the prayers of a righteous person, and those prayers will accomplish much.

12. II Chronicles 20:12

God, when I don’t know what to do concerning ____________, help me to turn my eyes to You, and keep them on You. 

13. Matthew 19:26

Father, thank You that even though it seems like there is nothing that can possibly change the heart of __________, with You, ALL things are possible.

14. Psalm 139:7

God, I thank You that ______________ can never escape from Your spirit, or get away from Your presence. Thank you that You are always with _______.

15. Psalm  138:8

Thank You Lord that You will perfect Your plans for ______________, and You won’t forsake him/her.

More Scriptures to Pray Over a Prodigal Child

16. Micah 6:8

Lord, please help _____________ to do what is right, love mercy, and walk humbly with You.

17. Psalm 19:13

God, don’t let ______________ do wrong purposefully, and don’t allow sin to have control over his/her life.

18. James 4:7

Lord, please help ________  to submit to You, and resist the devil so he will from him/her.

19. Ezekiel 11:19,20

God, I ask that You will put a new spirit in _________, soften his/her hard heart, and make it tender so he/she will obey You and walk in Your ways.

20. Isaiah 49:16a

Lord, I thank You that You have engraved ________ on the palm of Your hands.

To the Parent of a Prodigal Child,

God sees and knows the pain and heartache you feel. When you see your child straying and walking away from the truths of God’s Word, which you planted in his/her heart, it is devastating, but He cares. This is why He invites us to come to Him in prayer for these precious children. Even more important, He loves them even more than we do!

Claim His promises today, and confidently pray Scriptures for your prodigal child, and DON’T STOP PRAYING. You may not see the answer you want right away It may even take years, but God is faithful. He will never give up on your child, and neither should you!

Mom,  I know it can be tough to remain intentional in prayer. If you’ve ever struggled to know how or what to pray for your kids, you are not alone! If you need some help in the area of prayer or praying for your prodigal, grab my ebook Praying Through Proverbs!

Also, don’t forget to join us in our private Facebook for praying parents right here!

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The greatest gift you can give to your kids is the gift of a praying parent. The power of God penetrates our children’s lives when we pray for them. But how many times have you struggled to know how or what to pray for your kids? It’s easy to either neglect praying for them regularly or to get stuck in a rut as we pray for them. Praying Through Proverbs for your children is a simple and powerful solution!

 

The number one reason parents have a prodigal child is that, at some point, they lost their child’s heart. In my message, “The Wise Use of Parental Authority” I said this:

Use Your Position as a Parent to Actively Seek Your Children’s Hearts; Don’t Abuse Your Position by Apathetically Saying or Doing Nothing

I have done many, many hours of teaching and preaching in relation to parenting. But probably the most vital statement I have ever made or will ever make about parenting is this: 

The most important ingredient in raising good children is to win their hearts early, be extremely vigilant to not lose your child’s heart. If and when you ever do lose your child’s heart, do anything you have to do to win their heart back.

The Importance of Winning The Heart of Your Prodigal

Proverbs 23:26 – My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

And the verses after that verse tell why you need to get your children’s hearts: so you can protect them from the wrong people and the wrong things.

You don’t protect your child by saying to your child, “Don’t hang around those people. They will mess you up.”

You protect your child by having their heart so they want to please you and please God by staying away from the wrong people and the wrong places and the wrong activities.

Dad, are you actively seeking to win your child’s heart?

Mom, are you actively seeking to win your child’s heart?

How do you win the heart of your child?

In 2 Samuel 15, Absalom got the hearts of the men of Israel by listening to them, talking to them and touching them.

You deliberately seek times to listen to your child and talk to your child while also occasionally, properly touching them.

Every Moment you are around your child from the day they are born, and especially when they are in their teen years, you are thinking to yourself “What can I do to win my child’s heart?”

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Then you don’t help with school work just so they can get their school work done. You help with school work so you can win their heart.

You don’t work in the yard just so the yard looks nice. You work together in the yard mainly so you can have a great time together as you win your child’s heart.

You don’t make a meal and clean the kitchen together so you can eat a meal and have a clean kitchen. You do it so you can spend the time together winning and keeping her heart.

Prodigal Parenting: Winning The Heart of Your Child

Why do you make sure there is no anger in your life? Because anger will keep you from being able to win or keep your child’s heart.

Proverbs 3:12 says, “For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”

Notice that delight is the foundation for the correction.

If you don’t have delight, then your correction is probably going to crumble because it doesn’t have a solid foundation. If you haven’t been delighting in your child and you try to correct them they are probably not going to respond the right way.

And that is true when they are 5. And it’s even more true when they’re 15. And it’s especially true when they’re 20!

Do you delight in spending time with your children? Because if you do, they will delight in spending time with you!

If you lose your child’s heart, then your child will probably also lose the heart to please you.

A man wrote about working with some children. He said they were

“picking fruit and vegetables, hoeing the garden, pulling weeds, cutting grass, cleaning up five years’ worth of neglect lying around the farm . . . and everything we did was laced together with smiles!

“I am convinced you cannot be a better parent than you are a smiler. The military and the jail will impart discipline, but only a smile will give you power with kids. Like a sunflower turns its face to the sun, a child will turn his face to anyone that will smile at him. What’s more, he will turn his heart.”

Dad and Mom, it’s more important to seek your child’s heart than it is to seek a job or money or worldly success!

People debate about whether children need quantity time or quality time.

I’ll tell you what they need. Children need as large a quantity of quality time as you’re able to give them.

And if you truly do your best and they know it they are likely to respond positively.

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How to Parent Your Prodigal Child Series Contributor:

I wasn’t surprised to see my 19-year-old daughter’s phone number flash on my screen. She’d occasionally call me to ask for grammar help on a paper or to describe an outing or adventure she’d had at college.

But not tonight.

With this one phone call, every dream I had for my bright, beautiful daughter vanished. She’d made a series of terrible choices, and the consequences had caught up with her.

What would her future hold now?

Hope for the Mother of a Prodigal Child

Our journey of parenting our prodigal had begun years before. Somewhere between childhood and adolescence, our sweet, easy-going, tender-hearted child became a sullen, resentful, troubled teen. Rejecting the faith she’d been raised in, she drifted further and further away.

But we had seen glimmers of hope. The camp experience she had the summer before her freshman year at college. Insight from a sermon or chapel service she’d share. Because she went to school two states away, we didn’t see her often enough to tell if her heart was softening, but we were hopeful.

Until that phone call. That awful phone call.

The morning after we spoke, I stumbled out of bed, eyes almost swollen shut from the long night of crying. As I willed my body to move, my heart bled from a thousand wounds. Even today, seven years later, tears form at the corners of my eyes when I think of that morning.

Everything precious to me is gone, I thought. Everything I’ve poured into her was wasted. Thirteen years of homeschooling. Bible reading every night of her life. All those prayers I’ve prayed and sacrifices we’ve made to raise her in the Lord. All for nothing.

How do you deal with a prodigal child?

As I walked down the hall from my bedroom, muscle memory kicked in, and I turned into my study. I settled into my chair and reached for my journal and Bible. For years I’d begun my day in prayer and Bible reading. Today, though, I had nothing to bring to the conversation. I sat empty before the Lord.

I opened my thankful journal and picked up a pen. Every day I’d been listing three things I was thankful for. That day I struggled to find one.

Next I journaled my prayers. Great, gushing laments expressing the heartbreak of my soul. “Father, what are we to do?” I wrote. “My hope is gone, and my heart is crushed.”

Then, like a drowning man reaching for a life preserver, I opened my Bible. I’d been reading through the Bible in a year with the MacArthur Daily Bible. Every morning I’d turn to the selection for the day and read a portion of Old and the New Testament. I’d fallen months behind in my reading, but I kept on. I was determined to finish, even if it took me two years instead of one.

Scriptures to pray over a prodigal child

I blinked a few times to clear the tears that kept filling my eyes. The reading for the day, in Jeremiah 31 said this:

Thus says the LORD: “A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children, refusing to be comforted for her children, because they are no more.”

Thus says the LORD: “Refrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work shall be rewarded, says the LORD, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy.

There is hope in your future, says the LORD, that your children shall come back to their own border” (v. 15-17).

What comfort those words contained. God saw my tears and my sorrow. He understood my grief.

A little further in the chapter, I read these words:

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?” (v. 27).

No, Lord, nothing is too hard for you. Not even my daughter’s stony heart.

Finally, in Jeremiah 32:38-41, I read precious words of hope.

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Although originally intended for the wayward children of Israel, God was now giving them to me as a promise for my prodigal child:

‘Behold, I will gather them out of all countries where I have driven them in My anger, in My fury, and in great wrath; I will bring them back to this place, and I will cause them to dwell safely.

            ‘They shall be My people, and I will be their God;

 ‘then I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear Me forever, for the good of them and their children after them (emphasis mine).

‘And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from doing them good; but I will put My fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from Me.

‘Yes, I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will assuredly plant them in this land, with all My heart and with all My soul.’

When I crawled into my quiet time chair and sat miserably before the Lord that morning, I had doubted His love and care. And I had feared greatly for my prodigal daughter.

When I rose from my chair I knew three things:

1. God saw my heartbreak and my tears.
2. Nothing I had done in His name would be wasted.
3. He would draw my daughter to Himself.

God, through His Word, had given me an anchor to cling to.

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Fighting for your prodigal child

The next day, eager to record the promises God had given me for the dark days I knew were ahead, I opened my Bible to the place where I’d left off.

There I received a final gift—promises that seemed specifically for my daughter. At the top of the page was the date of that day’s reading—and the date just happened to be my daughter’s birthday.

If I hadn’t built into my life the discipline of daily Bible reading and prayer, I would have missed the powerful comfort God had prepared for me that day. During the turbulent days, months, and years that followed, the promises God gave me that morning became my life preserver.

I clung to them when waves of grief threatened to swamp me and held them close when storms of circumstances tried to drown my hope. I refused to let them go when the currents of despair dragged me down.

Sowing in Tears, Reaping in Joy

Seven long years have passed since that dreadful day. Things got worse before they got better. Little by little, though, glimmers of hope began to sparkle. The Holy Spirit continued His work in the quiet corners of my daughter’s heart and mind.

Last fall, she stood before her church family to declare her love for Jesus Christ and her desire to live for Him all her days.

As my tears flowed freely—happy tears this time—I remembered the promise God had given me years earlier as the mother of my prodigal child. Then I realized He had replaced it with a new one:

“Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy” Psalm 126:5.

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How to Parent Your Prodigal Child Series Contributor:

Lori Hatcher is the author of Refresh Your Faith, Uncommon Devotions from Every Book of the Bible. A 17-year homeschooling veteran, women’s ministry speaker, blogger, magazine editor, and pastor’s wife, she writes and speaks to help busy women connect with God. Read more from her on Facebook, Pinterest, or her blog, Hungry for God … Starving for Time, 5-Minute Devotions for Busy Women (www.LoriHatcher.com).

I never thought it could happen to me. One day things were fine and the next my life and family were spiraling out of control. Fear gripped me with a stranglehold.

My husband and I did all the right things. We took our children to church, prayed with (and for) them daily, and raised them in a godly environment. They went to Sunday school, VBS, and Christian camps. Our children never listened to secular music or read secular books. They could quote Scripture verses and knew all the words to the most popular Christian songs. Born again and baptized at a very early age, they were good, upstanding, obedient kids.

What could have possibly gone wrong?

How to Survive As The Parent of Prodigal

The staggering truth is: Even good kids rebel—and even good parents can end up with a prodigal. Or in my case two.

If you’re dealing with a prodigal, you’re probably asking all the questions I did. Why, God? Why me? How could you let this happen? What am I supposed to do? Where are you?

For over five long years I struggled with all the frustration, guilt, and anger associated with rebellious kids. I cried myself to sleep at night and wondered why God gave me children in the first place if I couldn’t handle parenthood. I got so caught up in the blame game that my relationship with the Lord suffered, along with everything else in my life. And I continued to battle worry and fear.

But God wouldn’t let go. Even when I tried to stop praying—thinking my prayers were literally bouncing off the ceiling—He prompted me to keep praying His promises over my children daily and believe He would honor His Word.

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Then one day the answer came, and I knew my prayers had been heard all along. He not only delivered my children, He set me free from the paralyzing effects of worry, fear, guilt, condemnation, anger, and self-doubt.

I learned many lessons during that terrible time, but the most important one is that God is faithful, and His Word is true. I also learned not to ever give up on my children—or myself—no matter how bad or hopeless the situation seems.

Here is a checklist I call a parent’s survival guide.

I didn’t know all these things—or practice them—at the time, but I pray they will help you walk through the fire of adversity with peace and confidence, knowing there is always hope for the prodigal.

• Trust God with your whole heart. Keep your eyes on Him—not your problem.
• Believe that His promises are true—and they are for you.
• Cast your care on Him. Lay this burden at His feet and leave it there.
• Commit your children to God. Pray for them daily without fail.
• Love your children unconditionally.
• Forgive your children.
• Forgive yourself.
• Don’t judge or condemn—your children or yourself.
• Listen closely to your children and make time for them.
• Respect their feelings.
• Practice tough love. Hold your children accountable for their actions.
• Be the parent—not the cool friend.
• Don’t compromise or lower your standards.
• Practice self-control. Learn to act—not react.
• Learn the early signs of drug and alcohol abuse—and what to do about it.
• Set boundaries and take charge but be flexible.
• Don’t let your children demand privileges.
• Find Scriptures that speak specifically and directly to you. Confess them daily.
• Don’t be afraid to vent to God. Tell Him how you feel. He already knows.
• Seek godly counsel. Don’t try to carry this by yourself.
• Don’t take bad behavior personally or become angry, bitter, and resentful.
• Avoid gettting caught in the blame game.
• Let the peace of God rule in your heart. Allow His joy to be your strength.
• No matter how tempting it might be to quit—never give up on your children.

Excerpts taken from Praying for the Prodigal, published by Straight Street Books, an imprint of Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. Used by permission.

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How to Parent Your Prodigal Child Series Contributor:

Andrea Merrell is an award-winning author and professional freelance editor. She is an associate editor with Christian Devotions Ministries and LPC Books/Iron Stream Media and was a finalist for the 2016 Editor of the Year Award at BRMCWC and the 2018 Excellence in Editing award by the Christian Editors Network. Andrea is a graduate of Christian Communicators and was a finalist in the 2015 USA Best Book Awards and the 2018 Selah Awards, as well as a semi-finalist in the 2018 ACFW Genesis contest.

She has been published in numerous anthologies and online venues, teaches workshops on writing and editing, and is the co-founder and regular contributor to www.TheWriteEditing.com, a blog designed specifically for writers. Andrea is the author of Murder of a Manuscript, Praying for the Prodigal, and Marriage: Make It or Break It. Andrea has a passion to help others see God’s Word as relevant and practical for everyday life. To read her weekly devotions or contact her, visit www.AndreaMerrell.com.

Need more support? Why not join our private Facebook Group Scripture Praying Moms as we seek to pray scripture over our children!

 

 

 

 

 

How often have you heard parents make these statements?

• It’s just a phase—he will grow out of it.
• That’s just what teenagers do—she’ll mature.
• All kids are this way—there’s not really anything we can do to change that.
• They have to be able to make decisions for themselves.

These and others are the statements we make to give ourselves permission to disengage as parents.

Today’s culture and the typical family tells us it’s normal for kids to:

• Lock themselves up in their rooms
• Avoid close relationships with parents
• Have prolonged rebellion or bad attitudes
• Be sexually active before marriage

Since we believe these behaviors are “normal,” we tend to disengage—to become passive parents. We essentially leave our kids to themselves to make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons. Sometimes we’re tired, or we don’t really know how to deal with an issue. Sometimes career or other interests distract us. Whatever the reason, passive parenting is disastrous.

8 Mistakes Of Passive Parenting To Avoid At All Costs

One of the best biblical illustrations of passive parenting is Eli, a priest of the Lord at Shiloh. His story is found in 1 Samuel 1-4, and the most outstanding statement about his parenting is 1 Samuel 3:13 when God said he would judge Eli’s house because he failed to “restrain” his sons.

The story is simple and powerful. Eli was an indulgent man, somewhat lazy, and rather content with status quo. He had two sons whom the Bible calls “sons of Belial”—God’s way of saying they were wicked, ungodly men. They abused the work of God and His people. They perverted themselves and others. And they were living dishonestly and publicly shaming the name of God.

Eli’s response was minimal. He talked passively with them a time or two, but took no other action. His inaction—his parental passivity—cost him and his family dearly. Let’s examine and learn from Eli’s passive parenting mistakes.

1. Passive Parents Defer Parenting and Spiritual Development to Institutions and Environments

Though Eli brought up his sons in the service of the Lord, at the house of the Lord, they grew to despise God and His truth. Mere environmental changes—like church, school, or youth group—are no guarantees that our children will live honorably. How often Christian parents place their children in healthy environments only to disengage and expect the institution to take over. This just doesn’t work.

This is especially easy to do for families serving in the ministry. After all, Eli could have rationalized “what better place to rear children than in the service of the Lord?” But neglect and passivity have disastrous consequences no matter the vocation of the parents.

Wise parents take personal responsibility to introduce their children personally to God. They fully engage in displaying a personal walk and a spiritual life, expecting healthy environments and supporting institutions, only to complement what they are already teaching and modeling.

2. Passive Parents Excuse Their Own Sin and Their Children’s Sin

Eli basically rationalized his own sin as well as his sons’. He didn’t want to change. He was benefitting from his sons’ dishonesty. The only reason he even talked to them about their sin was that the people complained to him, not because they dishonored God.

Sometimes we tolerate sin in our children’s lives because we don’t want to give up our own. They know it, and we know it. In so doing, we make a big parenting mistake. We dishonor God and passively endorse our children doing the same.

Wise parents deal with their own sin first, then they humbly and sincerely lead their children to do the same. They have a zero tolerance for dishonoring God—both in themselves and their children. There is no rationalizing; they repent.

3. Passive Parenting Mistakes to Avoid Confrontation and Responsibility

They see everyone else at fault—the teacher, the pastor, the youth pastor, the other kids, the church, the school, etc.; but they don’t see their own responsibility or the choices of their children at the root. Passive parents blame mistakes on everyone and everything else but themselves or their own children. There’s always another place to “point the spotlight.”

Eli never really confronted his sons or took responsibility for his passivity or their sin. He never forced them to face the reality of their sin. The Bible word restrain means to weaken or dim or diminish—like putting out a light. Eli should have removed his sons from influence and diminished their ability to carry on in their ways.

Uncovering the assumptions and behaviors of disengaged parenting that cause parenting mistakes

Wise parents own their children’s failures. They first inspect their own hearts and ask God to expose parental failures like neglect, inconsistency, or anger. Then they help their children take personal responsibility for their actions. They don’t defend or allow their children to blame others. And they always support those who will help them biblically address problems, no matter how embarrassing a situation might be. Embarrassment is a small price to pay for the restoration of life or the salvaging of a future.

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4. Passive Parents Have the Truth but Don’t Apply It to the Heart

They sit in church week after week, hearing the preaching of God’s Word, but not really listening. Like pearls falling in the street, the truth is all around them, but it never penetrates the heart or impacts the lifestyle. The Word never leaves church with them. It never changes things at home.

Eli and his sons were in the ministry—surrounded by the truth on a daily basis, but it never penetrated deep into the heart. There was a huge gap between God’s truth and real life. What God said and how Eli lived were two very different things.

Wise parents always live with the ever-present reality of honoring God everywhere, all the time, in every way possible. It’s a whole life thing,  not a church thing or a Sunday thing. It’s a heart thing. Their Christian lives are 24/7 and living God’s way is an ever-present reality.

5. Passive Parenting Focuses on Behavior Modification Rather Than Heart Transformation

They are more concerned with minimizing embarrassment than with truly molding the heart. Eli wasn’t alarmed by the wickedness of his sons’ hearts. He was just embarrassed by their behavior and the complaints he received. In other words, if their sins weren’t so public and embarrassing, he wouldn’t have been bothered at all.

Wise parents do not merely try to modify or manipulate outward behavior. They are always thinking of the heart and targeting heart transformation. They are always asking the question, “Is my child just conforming outwardly, or is his heart embracing God’s truth?”

Behavior modification and outward conformity is a losing proposition. It’s temporary and shallow. It always breaks down at some point, and passive parents are usually shocked and surprised when that happens. Our kids need deep, heart-level convictions built on the foundation of truth and not merely the expectations of men.

6. Passive Parents Invest High Energy into Personal Interests and Career, but Little Energy into Parenting

Eli somehow found time to serve God, but not time to restrain his sons, and God was not pleased. One of the saddest verses of the passage is 1 Samuel 2:25 when Eli is speaking with his sons and says, “…if a man sin against the LORD, who shall intreat for him?” I believe their father should have intreated! Eli wouldn’t even intercede before the Lord for his sons.

Later, when God pronounces judgment upon Eli’s house, his response is rather ho-hum, “…It is the LORD: let him do what seemeth him good.” What amazing resignation and passivity.

Wise parents fight passionately for their children. They intercede, they intervene, they fully engage with their best energy and effort. They are willing to lose the world, but not their children. And God always honors those right priorities.

7. Passive Parenting Ultimately Resign Themselves to “Whatever Will Be..”

Eli never really invested much energy into trying to bring about a change. Perhaps he saw himself as the victim of circumstances and powerless in his sons’ lives. That belief caused him to slump into fatherly resignation and neglect. I want to shout to Eli, “Get up and fight! Reconcile your relationship with your sons! Do something! Beg God! Plead for your family!”

Wise parents never give up and they never believe it’s too late to affect a change. Many times I’ve seen faithful parents remain faithful through the struggles of a prodigal child. Through all the heartbreak, pain, embarrassment, and frustration, they never quit church, never left the Lord, and never stopped fighting. Rather than play a blame game, they just kept loving, praying, and living faithfully. Though their child was adrift, they remained the anchor!

And many times, I’ve seen those children come back to the Lord and to their spiritual anchor—their prayer-warrior parents. Parent, it’s never too late to see God work in the heart of your child! Don’t ever give up.

8. Passive Parents Will Answer to God for Their Own Neglect, not Their Children’s Choices

God created free will. It was His idea. At the end of the day, our children have the power to make choices that we cannot control. God holds them responsible for those choices. Eli was not responsible for his sons’ wickedness, but he was responsible for knowing about it and doing nothing. (1 Samuel 3:13)

One of the greatest motivators to awaken us out of parental slumber should be the fact that we will be held accountable for our inaction.

Wise parents see parental action as obedience to God. They discipline and nurture their children not merely to improve circumstances, control behavior, or minimize embarrassment. They do so because they themselves are obedient children of a Heavenly Father and they seek to honor God.

Last week I had a conversation with a young lady from our singles department who is experiencing a marvelous time of growth in God’s grace. Recently saved, she is literally basking in God’s goodness and soaking up all the truth and wisdom that she can. It’s wonderful to see.

But over the course of our talk she expressed great disappointment in the fact that she’s so late in learning many biblical truths that her parents should have taught her. How she wishes they weren’t passive parents.

How do you fix passive parenting mistakes?

What about your kids? When they are in their late twenties will they share the same disappointment? Or will you fully engage and nurture them with God’s grace and truth?

Learn these mistakes of passive parenting from the story of Eli. Engage with fervent energy and spiritual commitment. Target your child’s heart with passionate tenacity. Engaging fully in the spiritual development of your children is nothing short of honoring God, and He responds quite favorably to that honor—“…for them that honour me I will honour…” (1 Samuel 2:30)

Visit today’s How to Parent Your Prodigal Child Series Sponsors Common Sense Press and Spanish For You! 

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How to Parent Your Prodigal Child Series Contributor:

Encouraging Words by Cary Schmidt  excerpts used with permission from part one and two of Pitfalls of Passive Parents

Need more support? Why not join our private Facebook Group Scripture Praying Moms as we seek to pray scripture over our children!

 

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“I don’t have to put up with this; I’m outta here!” Amber exclaimed as she slammed the door and stomped down the stairs to her room in our home’s lower level.

I don’t remember what the conflict was about, but a couple of hours later, we realized she’d slipped out of the house. A couple of frantic days later, we discovered our high school senior, who’d been talking about a career as a youth worker, had moved in with a couple of guys in their mid-twenties.

When we realized Amber wasn’t coming home, we didn’t know how to deal with it. We were a ministry family and this was not supposed to happen!

But when we admitted we were facing being parents of a prodigal child, we learned we were not alone. Instead of condemnation, we found comfort, understanding, and advice from others who had traveled this road.

How To Hold On To Hope As A Parent Of A Prodigal Child

Prodigals come in all stages and attitudes. Sometimes they’re simply questioning their faith in a way that can be nerve-wracking for parents, but is a natural part of their growth and making their faith their own. At other times, they make a stream of stupid choices but don’t entirely walk away from God.

And yet some other kids seem to lose their sanity and jump off the deep end. They end up rebelling against parents, God, and anyone else who gets in their way. No matter the scenario, it can be a time of stress, anxiety, and heartbreak. As we hurting parents seek others’ help, the body of Christ goes into action, not only encouraging us but also by lifting our children in prayer.

How do you deal with a prodigal child?

Sometimes the unwanted job of parenting a prodigal is a lifetime task.

But thank God . . . for so many parents and prodigals, it is just a season. Although it may be a long season, the rebellion and irresponsible behavior eventually abates. When Amber flew our coop, I interviewed dozens of parents to see how they dealt with the prodigals in their lives. Mark and I learned that the message most parents of prodigals give is one of hope.

Like Pat’s experience with her daughter, Angie. Angie started stealing at 13 and was soon sneaking out of the house to meet guys. Drugs entered the picture and promiscuity.

“I took some hope when she agreed to attend a Christian college,” her mom, Pat, says. “But I soon learned she hadn’t changed. Psalm 126 became my source of strength as I prayed for our lost daughter.”

Before the end of her freshman year, Angie quit college and moved in with a middle-aged boyfriend. For over a year, the family had no idea where their prodigal daughter Angie was living. “Once in a while she called, but months went by when we didn’t hear anything. I’d wake up in a sweat wondering if this guy drugged our daughter or if he was a pimp. Fear of losing our first-born drove me to my knees.”

Years passed before Angie visited her parents for a few days. Then seven years passed before Angie visited home again.

“Angie had been in beauty pageants. When she got off the plane, others saw her beauty; I saw her pain-filled eyes,” Pat explains. “But we had some special times for a week. We saw Angie’s prodigal heart softening, but then she was off again.

“That was February. In the middle of a night in July, the Lord cracked the last wall. Angie asked God to forgive her and she called her sister to drive across the state and move her out of her boyfriend’s house.”

“Today, that same daughter is a beautiful wife and mother, a church leader, an encouraging counselor. A prodigal returned to the Father.”

Choosing Hope as a Parent of a Prodigal Child

Jan’s daughter, Sue, started abusing drugs as a 14-year-old, when her father abandoned the family.

“I had her in a residential program, a remote ranch for troubled teens, and other programs—she bolted out of all of them. She was involved in everything from promiscuity to drugs to abortion to living on the street to Satan worship. I sent her to programs, read a zillion books, and researched more programs.”

Jan was at the end of her rope when God began to nudge her own heart. “I used to call Sue my ‘prodigal,’” Jan says. “But then God urged me to see her as His child instead of as my rebel.

I started seeing her as a lovely child of God with promise, and with purpose. That changed everything.

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I still depended on prayer, but I began to look beyond the mess she was . . . to picture her as the finished product, a woman after God’s own heart—and it gave me peace. My panic and depression disappeared as I chose hope.

“Sue couldn’t outrun God. After a few more battles, she reached out to the Lord. She is now, at 29, a changed woman. She’s healed of guilt, anger, and bitterness and tells her story to everyone . . . what a witness!

And there are so many more stories of hope.

Preparing for the Feast

As most parents of prodigals have discovered, the prodigal journey includes travel time. The prodigal might take a few years to reach the “pigpen” and it may take the prodigal child a few years to return home.

During the first few years while Nick was a prodigal, his mom, Paula, tried to control the situation in every way she knew how to. She tried “guilting” her son off the sinful path, tried manipulation, tried unconditional love, tried everything. Finally, God told her to stop doing anything…but praying.

“This is what I prayed for our prodigal son,

‘God, he is so far from you and walking in all the wrong places and making all the wrong choices. He deserves punishment. But would you be as merciful as you can be, while being as severe as you have to be to get his attention? I trust you with your child.’”

One morning during church, Nick slipped into the seat beside Paula.

“He grabbed my hand and squeezed. That started a long walk back to our home, and he’s still walking back to God. We still get those dreaded late night phone calls, but he’s on his way. God hasn’t left him or us, and we have the faith that He’s finishing what He started in our son’s life…and that one day our son will walk close to God.”

And our prodigal drove me into a deeper relationship with God than I ever thought possible. I have greater confidence in who God is and what His plan is for my life and my son’s life than I ever could have had without the walk with a prodigal.”

Paula especially relates to the Bible story of the Prodigal Son. “We still stand at the door and look down the road, as the father did in Luke 15,” she says. “Meanwhile, we consider it the greatest honor to be in the waiting room with God while He continues to work in our son’s life. We already have the banquet planned. God has proven Himself faithful to our family and to our son.”

And God will be faithful to you, too. No matter what situation you face, you can know that you are not alone. Your child is also God’s child. He grieves with you, hopes with you and He prepares to rejoice with you. And He gives you grace.

But He also steps into your child’s life in places you can’t go, and God walks with your prodigal child through the ugly weather in his or her life. When your child runs from you, God brings His message into your child’s life through other people.

What happened with our daughter, Amber? For ten years, she denounced God and bounced from sin to sin. We tried to keep communication lines open and tried to show her our love and God’s love.

One day I was sitting at my desk, praying for Amber and feeling futile. “Oh Lord, what’s the use of even praying? She’s as hard as a rock,” I moaned.

But then the Holy Spirit reminded me that rocks have miniscule holes that we can’t see. “I can get into those tiny places and work,” He seemed to whisper, and we kept praying for our prodigal daughter.

A year or so later, Amber and her husband moved near us, wanting a change of scenery and a change of life. She came back to Christ and was baptized. Her husband found Christ. Now they study their Bibles, attend church faithfully, and raise their own children in faith. The girl who once stomped off and slammed the door now opens her heart’s door to the Spirit every day.

If you are enduring the pain of a child who has strayed, take heart. You are not alone. Perhaps the words of Psalm 31:24 is the best message we parents of prodigals can carry in our hearts: “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”

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How to Parent Your Prodigal Child Series Contributor:

Jeanette Gardner Littleton is the author of When Your Teen Goes Astray: Help and Hope from Parents Who’ve Been There. She is also director of the Heart of America Christian Writers Network.

Need more support? Why not join our private Facebook Group Scripture Praying Moms as we seek to pray scripture over our children!

Prodigals.

Wayward children.

Rebellious kids.

These are words we typically use to describe that child who has walked away from the church, from the faith, and from the Lord.

They may walk away in defiance or they may drift away. It doesn’t matter.

For this season, they have put up a “Don’t talk to me about God,” sign, and they’d like to not be disturbed.

So, what can we do as concerned parents?

How can we rightly respond to that child or those children who have seemingly walked away from the Lord?

I’d like to share you with 4 tips for parenting a child who is not interested in your faith.

These come from several wise mentors, from older friends, and from personal experience. I’m praying that you will be greatly encouraged as you read!

4 Tips For Parenting A Child Who Is Not Interested In Your Faith

First, Stop Pushing Your Kids to Love Jesus.

As parents, we feel like we must do SOMETHING when that child walks away and is not interested in your faith.

What do we do?

We begin to push. We send them Bible verses and prayers. On Saturday, we start bugging them about going to church with us. On Monday, we ask them why they didn’t go.

One especially eager mom I know regularly sends her children, nieces, and nephews texts with verses and warnings about their sin. These kids have confided in me that this only makes them angry. Her pushing doesn’t drive them to their Savior; it drives them far away.

Ephesians 6:4 in the Voice Translation puts it this way, “And, fathers, do not drive your children mad, but nurture them in the discipline and teaching that come from the Lord.”

So many well-meaning believers are making it worse with all of the pushing. So, stop pushing your kids to Jesus. It’s not working! You are driving your kids mad!

Second, Stop Pulling Your Children to Love Jesus.

One of my children’s favorite ways to describe someone is to call them, “passive aggressive.”

To be passive aggressive is to indirectly or covertly make demands of another person. It’s more subtle and more sneaky, but it’s still aggressive. Often, pouting, humor, or little hints will be dropped to express a message

For example, I might say, “I sure wish everyone could locate the dishwasher. I seem to be the only one in the house who knows where it is.”

Often, Christian parents will try to direct or re-direct their children to Jesus with passive aggressive humor, comments, and hints.

What does passive aggressive parenting look link?

• Leaving a Bible or devotional book laying on their pillow.
• Putting a church bulletin where they will see it.
• Teasing them about not coming to church… “If you’d been at church…”
• Digging at them about not reading their Bible.
• Embarrassing them by bringing a topic up that you know they won’t like in front of others. Sort of a shaming mechanism in front of others.

This type of parenting is much less combative and confrontative, but it may hurt even more. It’s stealthy and sneaky. It’s confusing and hurtful, but it’s so easy to do.

For me personally, this has been the one parenting issue I’ve had to struggle with most. And, my children have clearly let me know that they hate passive aggression.

May I encourage you to consider your words, your humor, your sarcasm, and your sneaky ways.

If you are trying to cleverly pull a child to Jesus, it won’t likely work!

Third, Pray Daily for Your Kids to Love Jesus

The words of James 5:16-18 come to mind as we think about praying.

“Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with. Elijah, for instance, human just like us, prayed hard that it wouldn’t rain, and it didn’t—not a drop for three and a half years. Then he prayed that it would rain, and it did. The showers came and everything started growing again.” (MSG)

Your prayers are something powerful—to be reckoned with!

So pray for your wayward child. Tell God about that rebellious son! Pray for your angry daughter.

Lysa TerKeurst tells the story of her daughter Hope who was away at college and away from the Lord. As Lysa prayed for Hope, God led her to pray one thing – that Hope might fall in love with Jesus again.

For months, Lysa prayed. She didn’t push or pull Hope to change. Instead, she just covered her in prayer each morning and sometimes at night before bed. Her constant prayer was that God would put people around Hope who deeply loved Jesus—making Hope want what they had.

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Toward the end of the college semester, Lysa was visiting Hope at her dorm. On the bedside table beside Hope’s bed, Lysa spotted an open Bible. It was Hope’s. As Lysa listened to Hope talk, she realized something had changed. Once again, Hope was excited about the things of the Lord.

What had happened? A group of international students had moved into Hope’s college dorm. They were on fire for the Lord and passionately in love with Jesus. Their lives impacted Hope’s, and she was changed.

This happened because a mother prayed fervently for her daughter.

Are you praying for your wayward child?

Why not begin to pray every day for them to fall in love with Jesus? Ask God to put people in their lives who will point them to the Lord.

Fourth, Keep Loving Them and Showing Them Grace

This sounds like something that would be easy to do. But, this final step may be the hardest.

Why?

Because that wayward child breaks your heart almost every time you talk to them on the phone or have a meal with them.

You took them to church, read them Bible stories, and poured truth into them all of their lives. They saw you and your spouse model what is was to love Jesus and made prayer a priority in your home.

You sent them to youth camp and choir tour and on mission trips. You drove them to youth group and Bible studies. They even sang in the choir.

But, somewhere along the way, they rejected you and rejected your God.

This.

Is.

So.

Painful!

How can you keep loving the child who is not interested in your faith and showing them grace?

• Talk about more neutral topics. Don’t engage in topics you know will cause a battle. It will do no good.
• If a hard topic comes up, resist the urge to lecture. Listen. Ask questions. You will learn a lot!
• Wrap your arms around that child – even if they don’t hug you back.
• Do kind things for that child – even when they don’t act kind.
• Continue to invite them for meals and enjoy time with them.
• Be gracious to their friends, spouses, and children—no matter what.
• Keep the door open to them—always.
• Take lots of deep breaths and bite your tongue if necessary.
• Don’t ever give up on them!

Remember how patient and how gracious God has been to you, with you, and about you! He has never given up on you or me. He is the ultimate example of a kind Heavenly Father.

Consider the words of Romans 2:4:

“Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?”

God’s kindness is intended to turn us from our sin. Our kindness can also help to turn our children from their sin. As hard as it is, we must follow the model of our God.

An Example of Parenting A Child Who Is Not Interested In Your Faith

Did you happen to catch the funeral of Billy Graham as it was televised?

My pastor relayed one of the children’s comments as she talked of her father at the funeral.

This particular Graham daughter (I believe it was Gigi) considered herself to be the black sheep of the Graham family—always making mistakes, choosing poorly, and hurting her parents.

However, at her daddy’s funeral, she told the story of how her father responded to her after a particularly bad season in her life.

As she drove up the long driveway to her parents’ home in North Carolina, she saw her father sitting on the front porch. When he saw her, he got up off the porch and walked out to her car. As she opened the car door, Dr. Graham threw his arms around her and welcomed her home.

She never doubted that her daddy loved her, and she was never afraid to come back home.

Why? Because she knew that her kind and gracious father dearly loved her—no matter what she did or didn’t do.

Billy Graham is a great model for us to follow. Although it must have been extremely difficult at times to watch his daughter stray and make such horrible choices, he never gave up on her.

And, that is how we must be… diligently determined to not push or pull. We must pray for and love that challenging child no matter what!

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9

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How to Parent Your Prodigal Child Series Contributor:

Melanie Redd is a woman who loves to encourage, equip, train, and motivate other women. With her easy smile, warm personality, and positive outlook, she enjoys offering hope in all that she does.

One of her favorite Bible verses is 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

Melanie wrote Sunday school curriculum and magazine articles for Lifeway Resources before launching her own speaking, blogging, and writing ministry. As a speaker and as a writer, she inspires others using the Bible, practical applications, a little wit, and a whole lot of common sense. She’s known for taking complicated biblical and relational concepts and making them simple to understand and put to use.

Her days are filled with ministry both online and offline. You’ll find Melanie encouraging a friend at a local coffee shop, cheering on a group of MOPS, writing an article for her blog, working on her latest book, and spending time in prayer with friends – all on the same day. She’s an energetic woman who loves to share the love of Christ with everyone around her.

Above all, Melanie is a wife and a mom, who greatly enjoys spending time with her family. She’s a pastor’s wife and the mother of two amazing young adult kids. Melanie and her family live in the suburbs outside of Memphis, Tennessee.