Blog - The Character Corner

3 Things That Make You Lose Your Joy As A Mother

September 10, 2020 By Kathie 15 Comments

If you have been a mom for any time at all, you know that there are times where you lose your joy in motherhood. Yes, you can enjoy being a mom, you can know that it is one of God’s biggest blessings in life and yet still lack the joy you thought would always be there when you became a mom.

Perhaps you’ve found yourself asking “how do I find joy in motherhood?”. Well, I have to ask you, “Are you aware of the things that make you lose your joy as a mother?”

3 Things That Make You Lose Your Joy As A Mother

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” Psalm 113:8

When I read this verse in my Bible today, it made me cringe. When I thought about the word my kids would use to describe me, a JOYFUL mother wasn’t the first thing that came to mind!

Being honest, many times they would more likely use the word stressed, grouchy, or irritable to describe me.

I’m not like that all the time. However, those words would probably rate a little higher on the percentage chart than the word JOYFUL.

Often I am not a joyful mother.

As I was thinking about this, I had to ask why I wasn’t a joyful mother at times and identify the things that caused me to lose my joy.

3 Crushing ‘joy stealers’ of motherhood

Here are 3 Crushing 'Joy Stealers' in Motherhood and What to do When They Show Up in Your Life!Click To Tweet

1. People Can Be ‘Joy Stealers’

Usually, the people that I let steal my joy are the people that live with me!

As moms, we are with our kids all day every day. Sometimes if we aren’t careful, we can let them steal our joy.

It could be something they say, the way they are acting, as well as what they do or don’t do. Or maybe you blame your difficult child on your loss of joy.

The truth is that they do not make me lose my joy as a mother. My reactions are to blame.

I really shouldn’t be surprised when my children disobey, have a bad attitude, or don’t want to help. They are born as sinners, and it is my job to train them in Godly character and help them in those areas.

My reactions to their wrong behavior show what is in my heart. At times its selfishness, and it makes me resent the extra time they take or the fact that they don’t want to help.

I have to choose to respond to them with love and ask God to help me keep a right spirit, and not lose my joy.

2. Circumstances Can Cause Us to Lose Our Joy as a Mother

It’s so easy to get irritable when things aren’t going well. The dryer quit working; it’s a rainy, gloomy day and we have errands to run; the baby was up part of the night and we are exhausted; etc.

If we let circumstances determine our happiness or joy, we are going to be miserable much of the time!

It’s very easy as homeschooling moms to be very joyful on the days that the kids are all behaving, the school schedule is just moving right along, and things are running smoothly. Being realistic though, not all days are going to be like that.

We have to maintain the right spirit despite the circumstances and how things may be going.

3. Worry Makes You Lose Your Joy As A Mother

As moms, there are so many things we can worry about. We worry about our kids’ safety, their health, their behavior and attitudes, their academic progress, etc.

When there is a problem going on with one of them, it is easy to let it consume our minds, and steal our joy. It’s also easy to worry about finances, and how to get everything done that we need to, etc.

I will take these worries to the Lord but often find myself carrying them again a little later.

Other times I will take the worries to God, but “worry” about how I can “help” him. Worry will keep me up at night, and then I am a tired mom in the morning, which leads to even less joy.

This is an area where God has really been working on me. I need to just “let go and let God.”

When I am feeling overwhelmed with worries or burdens, I repeat the verse over in my mind: “Be still and know that I am God.”

It’s such a relief to know we can leave our cares, worries, burdens, and needs in God’s hands.

What are the things that keep you from being a joyful mother?

Ask God to help you to identify those things, and help you to be filled with His joy.

If you need more help in this area read these posts now!

How Does My Lack of Joy Affect My Children?

5 Secrets To Being A More Joyful Mother

If you struggle with hormone issues (which can lead to a loss of joy!) join me for this free series:

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3 Homeschool High School Activities That Can Build Character

September 7, 2020 By Kathie Leave a Comment

For teens, participating in a variety of homeschool high school activities will develop so much more than the particular activity’s focus. Character is often forged in community and each one of the following activities includes working with and alongside others.

3 Homeschool High School Activities That Can Build Character

Does simply participating in any activity automatically mean that your teen’s character will grow? Of course not.

We need to be intentional about helping our teens decide what they should join, and what will be less than beneficial for them. For example, involvement in sports can be an incredible opportunity to cultivate character, but it’s important to know who is leading the team! Which brings us to our first activity.

Homeschool High School Activity That Can Build Character #1: Sports

While not all states allow students to participate in public school sports, many communities offer other opportunities for homeschool teens.

When looking for a team for your teens to join, you’ll want to find one that you believe will have a positive impact on your student. Coaches can be very influential in athletes’ lives. Ask: Does the coach have high expectations, yet remembers it’s only a game? Does he encourage and teach, or demean players?

The coach and the players don’t have to be perfect, but if you want your teens to build character, it’s important to note who will be influencing them.

Homeschool Activity #2: Clubs, Youth Programs, & Groups

There are so many different types of clubs for teens to get involved in!

4-H. Homeschoolers in an area often form their own 4-H clubs. Through 4-H teens can participate in a variety of groups and competitions—it’s definitely not just for those raising animals anymore. They can even earn scholarship money. Whether they are interested in drama, musical performance, robotics…there’s really something for everyone.

Scouting or Trail Life. The quality of the group in your area makes a big difference with any program. But through them, students can learn about leadership, as well as a variety of practical skills. These types of programs give students a goal to work towards, opportunities for adventures, and help them to serve the community.

Homeschool groups. Often other homeschoolers in your area will offer a class or club of some kind to fill a need for their own children. If there isn’t something available in your area, don’t hesitate to start your own!

Ideas for Homeschool Groups/Clubs:

Book clubs. Discuss a variety of types of books including different genres and time periods.
Creative writing. Students can share their writings with one another, do peer reviews, and encourage one another.
Community outreach. Teens impact their communities when they serve together at local homeless shelters, participate as reading mentors in schools, or help clean up their city.
Career exploration. Students can visit a variety of businesses together, interview workers, and learn about the different opportunities that might fit with their unique personalities.
Leadership academy. Have local leaders come to your group to share what it means to be a leader, how they’ve served their communities, and more.

Homeschool Activity to Build Character #3: Co-op Classes

When high school students take co-op classes or dual-enrollment courses at a local college, they have the opportunity to hear from other authority figures besides you while learning to function in a classroom of other students that may be very different from them.

You have to know your kids and whether they are ready to take on that type of responsibility, but for mature teens it can be a great chance to transition into college courses and learn to deal with those who have different worldviews than they do.

Character Traits Cultivated in High School Activities

These characteristics aren’t a given simply because your teens participate in an activity. Intentionality in developing these skills is important.

Perseverance. Whether it’s learning a new skill or completing a difficult assignment, our teens have to develop “stick-to-it-ness”.
Being a “team” player. Obviously sports provide our kids the chance to be on a team, but that’s not the only thing. 4-H competitions, such as robotics or one act plays, are often done with a team. So is working together to serve the community through a project.
Leadership. How do kids learn to lead if they don’t have to work with others at times? Leadership isn’t just about being in front or the person in charge. Our attitude and actions are influencing those around us.
Commitment. Even when something isn’t what our teens expect or like, staying committed to it for an agreed-upon time is important (unless they are being harmed in some way). Consider making a rule that your children have to at least finish the semester if they start something new.
Ability to compromise and resolve conflicts. Anytime we work with others, we are faced with differences. Our teens need to be able

Choosing the Right Homeschool High School Activities for Your Teens

Ask yourself (and your teens) some of the following questions as you try to decide what your teens will participate in:

How much time do we have to commit to outside of activities?
What are my teens most interested in?
What skills or natural talents do my teens have that need to be developed?
What’s offered in our community?
Am I willing to start something we don’t have available?
Will the other people who go to this activity help grow my teens or be a hindrance to them?

As you evaluate, know that nothing is perfect. And being around imperfect people and having to deal with hard things is one of the ways character is formed in our teens.

Whatever activities your teens are involved in can help them build character while learning with others.

And if you need some help in learning how to put these ideas together for High School credit stop by our shop and grab your copy of …

THE HIGH SCHOOL COURSE OF STUDY & PLANNING WORKBOOK!

The High School Course of Study & Planning Workbook will simplify the process for you and your high schoolers.

In it, you will:

Learn the four steps you need in order to make an overall plan for your high school teens.
Discover three different ways to award credits.
Figure out how to make a plan for each year’s course of study and a simple way to make sure you are covering what your teen needs.
Create a schedule that works for you and your teens.

At The Character Corner, we want to take the fear and the overwhelm out of homeschooling high school so you can spend your time and energy on the thing that matters the most: your relationship with your teens. Grab yours today to get started!

5 Homeschool High School Ideas You Will Want to Start Using Today

September 3, 2020 By Kathie Leave a Comment

Have you ever thought that maybe the light bulb that’s supposed to go on over your head when you have an idea must be burnt out? You aren’t alone! For some reason, when our kids get to high school we often feel like we’ve run out of ideas to keep learning interesting, practical, and fun. That’s why we’re sharing these five homeschool high school ideas with you! And maybe by reading the list, your own lightbulb with light up with a few more 😉

5 Homeschool High School Ideas You Will Want to Start Using Today

Homeschool High School Idea #1

Learn outside-the-textbook-box. Don’t think that just because your teen will be earning credits, the way you educate them has to look traditional.

Often parents are perfectly fine with this idea when kids are in elementary and even middle school, but somehow it feels like high school is “for real now” and we need to go back to what we grew up within public or private school.

Maybe we’re driven by the fear that our teens will have gaps in their learning and won’t be able to go to college if that’s their goal. Or maybe we’ve simply never thought about the fact that there are other options.

Consider these ideas for teaching subjects without a textbook…

1. Read Real Books for History

History should never be a boring subject! We have incredible resources available to us in a variety of formats, as well as primary source materials at our fingertips.

Don’t worry so much about trying to cover it all. Instead, aim for depth over breadth of information. Students can read an overview of a time period, but then dig deep into key events and people or things that capture their interest. Biographies such as David McCullough’s 1776 will give your students a much greater understanding of the American Revolution than a few pages in a textbook!

2. Study Science Like a Scientist

Like in history studies, students can read real books. They can also research topics online and at the library, watch videos, and do a variety of experiments. But to really kick it up a notch, they can come up with ideas for their own questions and design experiments and studies to test their hypotheses.

Studying the weather? Learn about it online from the National Weather Service. Have your teens make a weather station and write down observations. Challenge them to make a video of their own forecasts. Then record how accurate their predictions were.

Learning about astronomy? Watch videos, read interesting books, invest in a telescope, and visit a planetarium. The sky is literally the limit!

3. Integrate Geography Into Other Studies

Geography is the perfect companion subject to history, science, current events, and cultural studies. By creating a geography notebook, students can collect information about geography no matter what they are studying. Buy some dividers and label them by continent. GeoMatters has some incredible resources!

Homeschool High School Idea #2

Make it real. This one can be done along with the first idea. Whenever you can, opt for the REAL THING instead of simply reading about something or looking at a picture or video of it.

For example, instead of reading a book about art, go to an art museum and take your time just looking. Don’t just learn about musical instruments and listen to some classical music online. Go see and hear and experience an orchestra performance.

Instead of reading a textbook about animals, go to the zoo. Take time to observe them, draw a picture in a nature journal, write down some facts from the plaques on the exhibits, talk to the zookeepers. Before you go or after your visit, do some research about the animals.

Come up with ideas for field trips, go on vacations to historic places.

Take advantage of homeschooling to the fullest extent you can.

Homeschool High School Idea #3

Have your teens go to work. No, I’m not necessarily talking about getting a part-time job (though that would be great too). I

I’m talking about intentionally learning about different ideas for career options by going to see and talk to people doing the actual work.

So many teens make a decision about what they will major in during college, or what training they want to get after high school, without really even understanding the different options out there.

Or, they may know the options, but have no idea how interested they are in them. Imagine if they were able to make some informed decisions.

Homeschool High School Idea #4

Teach real-life skills. This may seem obvious, but so many students today graduate with a lot of head knowledge and very few practical skills for living.

As a homeschool family, your children can learn about the following subjects as they walk through life with you. And if there’s an area you struggle with, don’t worry—you can learn alongside your teen.

Some ideas for topics might include:

Personal finance
Nutrition and cooking (Hello FoodNetwork!)
Health and fitness
Home repair
Car maintenance
Productivity

Homeschool High School Idea #5

Put the social back in socialization. You may be saying, “But our community doesn’t offer anything for homeschool teens.”

Guess what?

When you get a few moms together to help, putting on teen socials can be a lot of fun for your teens and for you!

Here are some of our favorite ideas for teen socials:

Game nights. Bunko, bingo, and board games are all great choices.
Progressive dinners
Park days with volleyball, basketball, baseball, flag-football, or frisbee golf
Holiday parties
Scavenger hunts
Miniature golf
Skating
Trampoline parks
Hiking trips

Last Thoughts on Homeschool High School Ideas

When your kids get to high school, don’t think education has to look completely different from their elementary and middle school years.

One of the best benefits to homeschooling is being able to educate our children differently.

Share some of these homeschool high school ideas with your teens and ask them what they are interested in the most. You’ll be glad you did!

And if you need some help in learning how to put these ideas together for High School credit stop by our shop and grab your copy of …

THE HIGH SCHOOL COURSE OF STUDY & PLANNING WORKBOOK!

The High School Course of Study & Planning Workbook will simplify the process for you and your high schoolers.

In it, you will:

Learn the four steps you need in order to make an overall plan for your high school teens.
Discover three different ways to award credits.
Figure out how to make a plan for each year’s course of study and a simple way to make sure you are covering what your teen needs.
Create a schedule that works for you and your teens.

Why You Need a High School Course of Study for Your Homeschool Teens

August 31, 2020 By Kathie Leave a Comment

Homeschooling high school may feel a bit overwhelming when you start thinking about it. Let me assure you: You CAN do it.

Homeschooled students are not only getting into universities, they are earning scholarships and excelling in their classes. Others are entering the workforce or choosing to stay home and raise their own families. In other words, these young adults are successful. And they were homeschooled by moms and dads just like you.

I believe with a little planning, you and your teens can start this journey with confidence. Let’s face it, knowing where we are going makes it easier to get there!

Why You Need a High School Course of Study for Your Homeschool Teens

A Map for the Journey

As a child, do you remember your parents getting out a map before you all took off on a vacation? There was a time when this was a necessity, or at least really helpful!

With a map you can know the best way to get to your destination. You can plan out where you will stop, the roads you will travel, and the places you’ll visit along the way.

Much like planning a trip with a map, making a plan for your teens’ high school years will help you get the most out of the journey. A clear path will make it easier.

Of course each year you will be adjusting the plan. So don’t worry if you don’t have all the details worked out right now. Your map is a guide for the journey. There are times you may take another road than the one you originally planned, but the destination is still the same.

A map will keep you and your students going in the right direction.

Your Homeschool High School Map: A Course of Study

What is a Course of Study?

Course of study: an integrated course of academic studies

Let’s look at the word integrated a little closer. Vocabulary.coms defines it as formed or united into a whole and says this about it,

Things or people that are integrated have been brought together, so that they live or work together. They’re no longer apart or segregated.

A high school course of study will bring together your high schoolers’ courses and studies so that they work together. How will they work together? With a plan:

The courses can be more unified by studying connected topics at the same time. For example, why not study world literature while also studying world history?
The courses your students take will help them achieve the goal of graduating. You don’t have to get to their senior year and panic because you missed some of the essentials.

Planning a High School Course of Study Doesn’t Need to Be Difficult

I can’t stress enough how valuable it is to sit down and do some planning as you begin your homeschooler’s high school years. Each year you’ll adjust the plan, but it will keep you on course. And when your teen’s senior year arrives, you can feel confident that you all have everything you need.

The High School Course of Study & Planning Workbook will simplify the process for you and your high schoolers. In it, you will:

Learn the four steps you need in order to make an overall plan for your high school teens.
Discover three different ways to award credits.
Figure out how to make a plan for each year’s course of study and a simple way to make sure you are covering what your teen needs.
Create a schedule that works for you and your teens.

Head over to the shop now and grab your copy of the High School Course of Study Workbook and get started today!

How to Build a Strong Relationship with Teens

August 28, 2020 By Lee Felix Leave a Comment

When my oldest son was in eighth grade, I began to worry about homeschooling high school. Could we do it? How could we be successful? What did success even look like?

One of my friends (and now 7Sister Marilyn) gave me some of the wisest advice I ever received.

“Pray about it, then write out your goals: What kind of person would you like your teens to be when they graduate?”

I took Marilyn’s advice and after much prayer, these were the general goals that I wrote for my homeschool high schoolers. All five of them have graduated now and I’ve had the blessing of watching those goals come to life in them.

How to Build a Strong Relationship with Teens

The most important goals (to me, anyway) I had for my homeschool high schoolers were:

To have a build a strong relationship with my teens, while they were still teens.
To have the kind of relationship that would make it possible for my kids to want to bring the grandkids for a visit when they grew up, got married, and had kids of their own.

The academic goals and other personal goals varied from teen to teen but I considered creating a meaningful relationship with each a top priority.

After prayer, I found that these would be the ways I worked on building a strong relationship with my teens:

Relationship over rules

My friend, Melanie Wilson of Homeschool Sanity Podcast, always says, “Relationship over rules.”

When I was a young mom I studied my older mom-friends (those with teens). I observed that those who were strictest had very obedient teens. Unfortunately, some of those teens quietly resented their parents and were glad to home leave as soon as possible. Some became sneakily rebellious (whether their parents ever found out about it or not). Some developed anxiety disorders. Some were okay, also, because that kind of parenting fit their personality.

I decided that the short-term gains of a strictly-controlled home while my kids were teens, were not worth the risk of hurting their hearts by valuing the “safety” of rules over our relationships. I love my kids more than I love a home that has an outward appearance of obedience.

Meaningful Relationship Building

Rules can take the place of communication and growth. It is so much easier to not wrestle through a teen request or irritation. If we simply set a rule, no further thinking or discussion is required on our part. However, if we can keep the communication flowing we have a better chance at building a meaningful relationship with our teens.

Once when I was a young mom, I saw a poster for sale in a homeschool curriculum catalog. It was, “The 100 Rules of our Household”. Needless to say, I didn’t invest in that one. Instead, I invested in:

Building Strong Relationships By Listening

Most teens need to talk. Only they rarely want to talk on our schedules. Have you noticed that? They want to talk when they are irritated at their literature study guide or chapter in their science text. They want to talk after bedtime or when you’re knee-deep in a project.

When I was busy, I found that I had to remind myself of the relationship goals and make myself available when my adolescents wanted to chat (or debate their irritating study guide or textbook). That meant stopping, turning myself toward them, and making eye contact (with a pleasant, non-irritated smile). Then I would simply listen.

Most of the time, not preaching or solving the problem for them

I said, “That’s really hard,” to my teens so many times that it turned into a joke for them. It was my way of letting them know that I heard them and sympathized. I eventually had to come up with other ways to let them know I cared, such as:

“Hmmm…” or

“What’s that like for you?”

“That sounds stressful…”

Or I’d practice some active listening like: “What I hear you saying is…”

Usually what happened at times like these is that my teen needed to blow off a little steam then could process through finding a healthy way to handle whatever was up. I could guide the discussion along with occasional questions but trust God to help them come up with a conclusion that would get them to a better place.

Admittedly, there were times that I felt like their decisions were not best practices so I would ask things like:

“How’s that working for you?” (but spoken with grace, not judgment)

Then there are the strong, silent types. One of my sons is a quiet, deep thinker. He doesn’t say much but when he does, he’s put a lot of thought into it. I found with him, if we are doing something together, he will talk. For us, that usually meant taking car drives together. We did lots of drives when he was in high school!

Having shared experiences

I work as a mental health counselor. In one of the continuing education courses I attended, the instructor said that when you do new things with your loved ones, your bodies release oxytocin (which is a bonding hormone). Even if it is a boring or irritating experience, once you get home the oxytocin is there.

Another cool thing about doing new things together is that it gives you something to talk about. So we tried at least quarterly to do something new. We counted:

Co-op field trips
Doing a new volunteer activity together
Hiking at a new state park
Attending free dress rehearsals at the local opera house
Making a new “historical” craft

Homeschooling high school gave us so many opportunities for new things!

My homeschool grads are all college grads now. We still have a good relationship (and I get to visit the grandbabies!) God bless you on your journey as you build meaningful relationships with your teens.

Hey, if you’d like some good discussion material, download 7SistersHomeschool.com’s FREE Apologetics curriculum. It’s interesting and thought-provoking.

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30 DAYS OF THE BEST ENCOURAGEMENT FOR HOMESCHOOLING MOMS SERIES CONTRIBUTOR:

Vicki Tillman’s mission is to advance God’s kingdom by investing in people. She has lived this call as homeschool mom, advisor to the upperclassmen in her local homeschool community for 18 years and as a homeschool coach.

As a speaker, curriculum developer, counselor and life/career coach, Vicki shares her expertise in homeschooling, prayer, healthy life and career topics, and mental health topics through her coaching at Vicki Tillman Coaching. posts at 7 Sisters, Pike Creek Psychological Center, Vicki Tillman Coaching and Vicki Talks Prayer.

A homeschooling mom for 20-plus years, all five of Vicki’s children graduated from homeschool high school and have completed various degrees at college and graduate levels.

10 Tips for Teaching High Schoolers at Home

August 27, 2020 By Lee Felix Leave a Comment

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We homeschooled all of our children (14 of them) all the way through high school.
And I am so glad that we did. Here are 10 tips that I have learned through the years of homeschooling high schoolers that can help to make these years more enjoyable, effective, and productive for you and your kids.

10 Tips for Teaching High Schoolers at Home

1. Substitute creative subjects for what is usually taught in high school.

Public schools don’t have the one best plan for education. Every young person is unique.
One of my daughters wanted to do biology, advanced biology, first aid, and advanced first
aid for her science credits. That’s fine. Don’t feel like you have to follow a public school
plan.

2. Ask for input from your student when teaching your high schooler at home.

Ask them how they learn best, what they would like to learn, what curriculum looks good to them. The more input they have into what they learn, the more they will invest themselves in learning.

3. Be sure you have an outlet for your high schooler to invest in the lives of others.

Teach them to have a servant’s heart and not be self-focused. Teach them to
look for needs in others and extend themselves in meeting those needs. If you instill
that in them, you’ve been a success. Life is about serving others, not pleasing self.

4. Let your high-schooler get a head start if they have a direction for future plans.

If they know what career they’d like to pursue, let them do it in high school. Let them take
courses that will train them in what their passion is. Let them avail themselves of
opportunities while in high school. My youngest graduated from high school this year,
but she worked and studied to obtain her private’s pilot license and got that before she
completed high school.

5. Interview others who have jobs they might like to consider.

If your student doesn’t have a clear direction for the future, invite people to your home. Ask them about their careers, their preparation for it, whether they went to college, whether they needed the college training. Ask questions about what they like about their work and what they don’t.

Here are 10 Tips for Teaching High Schoolers at HomeClick To Tweet

Let them, for instance, volunteer with the rescue squad if they are considering the
medical field, to see if they would really like that line of work. Find someone in a
business they think they might like and let them shadow the person for a week to learn
about the job.

6. Make the opportunity to get to know their friends, invite their friends into your home.

Let your home be a place to hang-out. Our home is ALWAYS open to our kids’ friends,
and some of their friends have become like adopted kids to us. You all will be blessed.
Befriend your kid’s friends. Invest yourself in others.

7. Be available to talk to them (even if it’s late at night!)

Be available to talk about struggles, fears about the future, relationships, goals, etc. Some of my best talks with my kids were late at night when the little guys were in bed and the house was quiet. Kids weren’t given for our convenience. Be available when they need you.

8. Help them as they sort through values.

Don’t be threatened as they set values for themselves. It is normal for them to sort through your values in order to adopt values of their own. Don’t be threatened if they don’t do everything exactly as you did, be open to tell them the whys and how you arrived at your own values.

9. Invest your life in making them successful (and part of that is encouraging them to help others to be successful).

So many of your own goals in life need to be on the back burner while you invest in raising your kids. Lose your life in making them successful in their God-given passions.

10. Be open to their ideas.

Let them try some activities. Don’t be a kill-joy. Enjoy life with them. God has gifted my kids in so many areas that I’m not gifted in, so I appreciate their ideas and let them try things. Be involved as much as they want you to be.

So there you have it! My best 10 Tips for Teaching High Schoolers at Home! What would you add to this list?

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30 DAYS OF THE BEST ENCOURAGEMENT FOR HOMESCHOOLING MOMS SERIES CONTRIBUTOR:

“She’s so ENCOURAGING!” That’s what moms say about Marilyn Boyer, homeschooling author and mother of 14. Marilyn’s heartfelt speaking style is both challenging and comforting, her content based on over thirty years’ experience in homeschooling her own children. Her many years in the trenches have convinced her that the most important part of education is the building of godly character. That’s why she created Character Concepts, a Bible-based curriculum for kids from preschool through high school. Learn more of her resources for teaching character to kids at www.CharacterConcepts.com

How Does My Lack of Joy Affect My Children?

August 26, 2020 By Kathie 1 Comment

Are you lacking joy as a mother?

I don’t have to convince you that Moms are always “on” moving from one thing to the next. They are often up late and up early, juggling multiple tasks to keep the home and possibly homeschool going. Throw in activities, ministry, or even working from home and, if you’re not careful, you have a perfect recipe for mom burnout.

What are the signs and symptoms of mom burnout? Some include loss of motivation, a change in appetite or sleep habits, feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated, constantly overwhelmed, feeling alone, and stuck in doubt.

What do these all have in common? All lead to a lack of joy!

So how do stay at home moms cope? While thinking about the many times when I have lost my joy, it made me stop and think about the effects my lack of joy has had on my children. We are not the only ones who can struggle when we are lacking joy as moms. As you process through it, I believe it’s important to ask ourselves these two questions.

HOW DOES MY LACK OF JOY AFFECT MY CHILDREN?

1. Will they want to know and love my God?

I remember hearing a talk about giving your kids a heart for God. She was talking about making our homes fun and being fun. Then she asked this big question: “Why would our children want to know and love our God if we are always grumpy and unhappy?”

Such a GOOD point! If I am teaching my kids about God and His Word, and trying to instill a love for Him in them, all that teaching will be undone if they see me as an unhappy, stressed, worried mom.

We can’t force our children’s hearts to love God, but we can give them a hunger for God by showing them the joy we have in Him. There’s the old saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink – BUT you can salt his oats.” We can give our kids more of a thirst for God if we are careful to salt their oats by our daily living. Seeing that we have the joy of the Lord will give our kids more of a thirst for God.

2. Will they learn to trust God with their problems and needs?

I can teach them the importance of prayer. I can encourage them to go to God with their problems. However, if they see me stressing and worrying about circumstances all the time, they are going to have a hard time trusting Him.

Often when I find myself burdened down about something, and feel it is affecting my spirit, I will talk to the kids about it and suggest that we pray and ask for God’s help in that situation. When I’m concerned, I want them to see the best thing to do is go to God.

I have also made it a point to share with them ways that God has answered prayers and provided in different situations. I especially do that when sharing a burden with them, to remind myself that I can trust God with this new worry, and to help build their faith and trust in God.

As moms, we all have occasional times when we lose our joy. That’s normal – it’s okay. The important thing is to realize what makes you lose your joy, and then focus on what you can do to be more joyful.

In my next post, I share 5 Secrets To Being a More Joyful Mother. Miss the last post? Read 3 Things That Make You Lose Your Joy As A Mother now!

5 Things Your Christian Teens Need to Know About Their Faith

August 26, 2020 By Kathie Leave a Comment

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It seems like just yesterday your teen was a toddler playing in the back yard. Today, you look at them and realize that time is short and their launch from your home is coming soon. You want to make sure that they are not like so many teens who leave home and leave the faith. But how do you do that? What do they need to know to hang on to their faith as they begin their adult life?

5 Things Your Christian Teens Need to Know About Their Faith

Each teen is different but there are five things we can do to ensure they have the skills not only to keep their faith but have the tools and motivation to grow in their faith.

It is likely your teens have been in church for most of their lives. As a parent, we want to do a quick inventory and make sure they have the basics Bible study skills down before they leave home. This would include

Understanding the Bible Timeline
Interacting with the major characters and events
Knowing basic Bible geography
Practicing how to use Bible study tools
- Bible Dictionary
- Topical Bible
- Bible Concordance
- Bible Atlas
Know how to ask the 5 W and 1 H questions of a Bible passage
- Who
- What
- When
- Where
- Why
- How

Knowing the practical parts of Bible study is key to helping to launch our teens. Along with the knowledge they need to how to apply the Word to their lives.

Bible Application for Teens

It is easy for Bible study to become an intellectual exercise, we have all heard the phrase, “Don’t give me the Sunday School answer, stop and think first”. But how do we know if our teens are just giving us an intellectual answer or speaking from the heart? An even harder question is how to take teens from the intellectual part of Bible study and teaching them how to apply the Word to their lives. Here are a few questions that they can ask after each Bible study.

What did I learn about God’s Character from this passage?
- For example, we can see from Genesis 1 that God is Creator, but to go one step further, one of God’s character traits from Genesis 1 is that He is a God of order.
Based upon what you have just studied, what action, attitude or belief do I need to change? We should never come away from God’s Word without taking an action, be that adjust our attitude, changing and action, or modifying a belief to better align with the Bible.

Applying what we have learned in the Bible is a life-long process that will help us to continue to grow in our faith. As your teens grow, they encounter those who believe differently and that is where apologetics comes in.

Apologetics for Teens

As we work through the knowledge and practice of Bible study, we also want to help our students begin to understand how Christianity differs from other major religions. Comparative religion is a class that you do want to before your teen leaves home.

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In our homeschool, we met one time with people of other faiths and allowed them to tell our teens their basic beliefs from their perspective. Then our teens were able to ask them directly about their beliefs. This allowed us to see where our teens needed extra help. If your teen is not ready for interviews, there are many books and videos on the market to help you teach your teen about the other major religions.

They need to be able to clearly understand the following about their faith

How Christianity is the same
How Christianity is different
Terms used that are the same but have different meanings

Apologetics can be fun and deepen the faith of your teens as they see the amazing faith that has been passed down to us!

Mentors for Christian Teens

As parents, we are the first mentors of our teens, but we want to have other mentors as well. When we were parents of young children we were advised by a wise older couple to pray and encourage our kids to have mentors. The kind of mentor you want for your teen is important.

Here are a few things we looked for in a mentor for our kids:

Christians who actively lived their faith
Someone of the same sex as the teen
One who would give them the same advice we would

The last thing I will say about mentors is to give your children permission, verbally, to seek advice and develop relationships with others. You are never guaranteed a long life, and you want others who can come alongside your teen and young adult who will be a second parent to them when they don’t feel they can talk to you.

You Can Raise Godly Adults

Finally, continue to cover your teen in prayer. There is no magic formula, no sure what to help your teen successfully launch, but they can leave your home fully equipped.

At Grapevine, we help parents do the first two things on this list. There are great resources available for apologetics and comparative religions. Finding a mentor requires deliberate prayer and interaction within the Christian community.

Having four adult children, who are now college grads and have all maintained an active Christian walk into their thirties, it can be done. Your teen does not have to be a tragic statistic within Christianity. You can help them to launch confident, equipped, and ready to do the work the Lord has assigned them in this day. The world needs godly adults, and you can raise one!

Serving Him with Stick Figures,

Dianna

Author, Grapevine Studies

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The Most Important Priority For Homeschooling High School

August 25, 2020 By Lee Felix Leave a Comment

There is so much to consider when you start out homeschooling highschool. Actually every year of high school you will face different challenges! But before you start to sort out all the how-to’s, you need to be very clear on the most important priority. You need to know your “why”.

Why are you homeschooling high school? Regardless of how long you’ve been homeschooling you need to ask this question and know the answer.

A little saying that Peter and I constantly remind ourselves of is: If your WHY is broken, so too is your HOW. (Heather McEwan)

It is easy to get caught up in researching for the best “How”

How do I teach high school math?
Essay writing for high school? How do I teach that?
How do we prepare them for University?
How can we get them job-ready?

And from there we start buying curriculum, establishing routines, and thinking about study habits.

But are these things the most important priority? Do these things reflect your why?

The Most Important Priority For Homeschooling High School

It seems to me that whoever I speak to wants their kids to have faith (if they are Christian parents), have good character, develop their talents, and get along with people. And yet when we follow the dictates of the education system, we fill their highschool years with academics that don’t actually address those primary concerns.

→ Belinda has a short email course that helps you make a transition to a heart focused homeschool. Learn more here.

Here are 3 Priorities For Homeschooling High School That Are More Important than Academics

#1 When homeschooling high school, remember your teens’ heart is more important than their head (the academics)

The high school years are years full of adjustment for our teens. It is in this season of their life that they start to take full ownership of the beliefs and values they hold and have been previously taught.

It never ceases to surprise me how many conversations we had to have with our teens about beliefs and values. Ones that we had already discussed often when they were younger. At times it felt like they must never have heard those things before.

What is really going on though, is that as our children grow older their world is expanding. They now have to connect the beliefs and values that we discussed in their childhood with the world that they are now walking into. So in a sense, it is a completely new situation for them in high school! We have to walk alongside of them being loving, patient, gracious, and forgiving!

We cannot afford to fill their lives with academic pressures that push aside the heart issues. They need to wrestle with them as they get close to being a self-governing young adult.

#2 Your family life is more important of a priority than homeschooling high school

Though education changes as our kids move into high school, the family and family life is still more important than academics. It is in the family life that we are able to address the whole of life growth that our kids need before they reach adulthood.

It is in family life that they grow spiritually. They strengthen their moral resolve. It is there that they learn social, intrapersonal and the life skills they need to be responsible with their resources. These lessons are invaluable for their transition to self-governing young adults and yet, these lessons are not found in an academic program.

Everything is set towards graduating from high school and moving into adult education, but they will undoubtedly do better when they are more grounded and established in every area of their life.

Academics without character and life skills will limit their impact in their chosen field. We have the opportunity to continue teaching and training our children in every area of their life. We cannot discard these important life lessons just because they are now homeschooling high school.

Continue to make it a priority to include your highschooler in the life of your family and watch them continue to grow as a whole person.

#3 Being a mother is the priority over being a teacher

I don’t know what it is but as soon as we put on a teacher hat our mother vibe changes. For some reason, we tend to morph into our most disliked high school teacher from our own time at school. Our kids don’t need a teacher – they need a mother. Don’t get me wrong, mom can teach stuff but believe me a teacher can’t be mom.

Our role as mom is precious. We hold our children’s hearts, we treasure their uniqueness and we pray over their future.

No amount of education, curriculum, and tests will ever replace the value of mom in a homeschooling teen’s life.

If you feel your high school student doesn’t respect you when you move into study time, the solution isn’t for you to become a stern teacher. The solution is heart-based – your child (no matter what age) needs to learn to respect their mother!

Homeschooling high school can be intimidating for many moms.

Don’t let the pressure of academics rob you from the time you need to nurture your relationship with your teen. They don’t need to learn everything before they graduate. Their continued education can take a different track – there are options. But a relationship broken because of striving and conforming to the education processes is hard to fix.

You may well be familiar with the phrase – parenting is heart work. The thing is, it is often our own heart that we need to work on before we work on our kid’s heart. And preparing for homeschooling high school is certainly one of those heart-work moments.

What do you believe is the most important priority when homeschooling high school?

Are you committed to the idea of educating the whole child – not just the intellect?

These are heart-based questions. They clarify what you believe and what you value. Once these questions have been answered you can then do the next important thing…. plan the homeschool high school academics.

Academics need to happen. But we live in a culture that elevates academics beyond everything else. As intentional parents who are homeschooling high schoolers, we can change that for our family.

We need to know our most important priority for homeschooling high school and then make our plans accordingly.

If you want to think more along the lines of being a heart focused homeschool sign up for Belinda’s short email course. She shares key principles behind heart focus homeschool. You will discover what is important to you beyond academics, and how you are going to make that a part of your homeschooling experience. SIGN UP HERE

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30 DAYS OF THE BEST ENCOURAGEMENT FOR HOMESCHOOLING MOMS SERIES CONTRIBUTOR:

Belinda Letchford writes at Live life with your Kids! Where she encourages parents to build strong relationships, shape their children’s hearts and use the whole of life to teach faith, character and life skills. Belinda and Peter raised four kids – who are now all adults and have left home. Life is very different now but Belinda continues to support mums to be intentional, relational and heart focused through writing, teaching and coaching. You can also find Belinda on Instagram

5 Secrets To Being A More Joyful Mother

August 25, 2020 By Kathie 763 Comments

A more joyful mother.

That is what we all hope for, right? I want my kids to remember me as a happy mom, rather than a stressed-out unhappy one.

“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.|” Psalm 113:8

5 Secrets To Being A More Joyful Mother

What are some secrets to being a more joyful mother?

1. Be careful how you think.

Not too long ago, I was discouraged about some situations, and my mind was full of negative thoughts. I was praying about it, and the Lord reminded me of the importance of right thinking.

Rather than believe the things the devil was putting in my thoughts, which were nothing but lies, I needed to dwell on the truth of God’s Word.

When I felt like I couldn’t handle things, God reminded me that “I can do all things through Christ.”

So often we stay discouraged and lose our joy because we aren’t focused on the truth of God’s Word.

To stay focused on those truths, we need to be reading God’s Word daily, as well as meditating on it. I know how hard it can be to find time for this as busy, young moms.

However, everything that we do as moms, needs to rest on the foundation of God’s Word. Finding time to spend in His Word must be a priority.

2. Give your expectations to God.

When I start expecting my husband to do certain things to help around the house, or expecting my children to be extra diligent in their school work, or go the extra mile to be helpful, I am setting myself up for frustration, disappointment, and a loss of my joy.

Don’t expect, but rather count it as a blessing when someone does something extra that pleases you.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.”

3. Be thankful!

The easiest way to accomplish the first two things above, is to have a thankful heart.

“Count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

When I find myself getting irritated about dishes being left in the sink, I stop and tell myself “I’m glad we have dirty dishes. That means we aren’t going hungry.” Then I thank the Lord for His provision.

You can do this with any situation that is making you irritable.

4. Listen to and sing hymns, and good Christian music.

Music can lift your spirit, and increase your joy.

I remember how my mom was always singing, and seemed happy. I’m sure she had times that she wasn’t feeling real joyful, but she had learned that singing would help change her heart.

Often I will turn on a CD of Scripture songs when I find that I am in need of an attitude improvement.

There’s something about hearing God’s Word that just changes your heart and your attitude.

I remember one particular day when I was a young mom of several children, and my attitude wasn’t very good. I was grumbling and unhappy about dishes, diapers, discipline, etc.

Right in the middle of my grumbling, I heard my little son singing in the other room. He was singing the Scripture song that we had learned a few weeks earlier: “I delight to do thy will, Oh Lord.”

It convicted my heart, and I realized I needed to change my attitude, and delight in doing what God had called me to as a mom.

5. Get more sleep.

As busy moms it is very easy to stay up late, trying to get work done while the kids are sleeping. Perhaps you also get up early to get a jump start on things while the house is still quiet.

While I understand this and struggled with it myself when my kids were younger, I quickly realized that the resulting fatigue from not getting enough sleep wasn’t worth that extra time to get work done.

When you’re tired, everything seems worse than it is, and can be overwhelming and stressful.

When you are tired and stressed, it’s hard to be joyful. Make sleep a priority, and discipline yourself to follow a schedule that gives you the sleep you need.

As moms, let’s ask God to help us to live each day joyfully! What better way to lead our kids to Him, than demonstrating the joy that only He can give us?!

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