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Today we are looking at Specific and Practical Ways to Teach Obedience, one of the most foundational character traits to teach our kids!

Specific and Practical Ways to Teach Obedience

Enter Our Strong-willed Show Stopper. “ARIA STOOOOPPP!!” I scream at my daughter.

She had let go of my hand and was running full speed ahead toward the pool fully clothed and without floaties. Even while running at a dead sprint, I wasn’t going to catch her in time. As I rush to the poolside I see the horrific sight of her tiny little body completely submerged. Without pause, I drop onto my belly and lift her towards the air.

As I pull her out, she is cracking up. Seriously laughing in my face. No fear, not startled at all, just belly laughing like almost drowning is the funniest joke she has ever heard. “Don’t you ever do that again!” I bellow as I pull my sopping wet 16 month old to my chest. I have never been filled with more gratefulness and sheer, utter anger at her behavior all at once before. As I hold her and calm my 3 years old whom I left on the sidelines to rescue his sister, I know something has to give. I have never, EVER seen a child as willfully defiant as this tiny daughter the Lord has given me. And I have no clue what to do about it.

Why should we teach obedience?

After much crying, prayer, late-night internet searches, and throwing my hands up in the air the Lord showed me that even a strong-willed child can be trained in obedience. It just takes more diligence, grit, and guts than the children who love to please their parents. No matter what your child’s personality is like sweet mama, we are called to teach them obedience.

If you love me, you will obey my commandments. John 14:15

Jesus told his disciples that if they love him, they will obey his commandments. We can’t be truly following Jesus unless we are obeying what He calls us to do. The utmost desire of my heart is to see my children walking in truth and knowing Jesus as their Savior and friend. This relationship begins with first learning to submit to the authority of your parents. Children are commanded to be obedient to their parents.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Ephesians 6:1-3

Obedience is something that must be trained and practiced. 

Train up a child in the way he should go even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:16

We train our children to listen to their bodies when they feel the urge to go and respond immediately to that feeling. If they are too busy to listen, accidents happen. In the same way, a child needs to learn to be attentive to your voice and to immediately respond. If not, they could wind up at the bottom of the pool or in the middle of a car coming scenario.

How to teach obedience to a child

But how does a parent instill immediate responsiveness in even the littlest toddler, or strongest-willed elementary student, or crankiest teenager? Is that even possible?

Yes, it is possible. But, however, it isn’t easy. It takes a steadfastness that doesn’t budge even when mama is tired or lost all of her patience.

It starts with prayer and active seeking of the only one who knows your child better than you do. Ask for help from the one who knows exactly how your child is wired, and exactly what their little hearts need.

Specific and Practical Tools for Teaching Obedience

Here are some resources that have helped me tremendously while being consistent in training obedience in my children.

The If-Then Chart

The If-Then Chart has been a WONDERFUL tool that we have used with our children for years. Because I struggle with being consistent regularly, this gives me something to refer to in the heat of the moment.

You decide what consequence common behavior issues will have (such as disobedience). Then if your child is disobedient, you can refer to the chart for the consequence that will follow. This allows you to determine the consequence actions will have prior to being in the thick of the moment and allows you to leave out any negative emotions from your parenting (anger, frustration, etc.).

My favorite part of this chart is that every issue refers to a Bible verse explaining why we don’t want to behave this way. It is so very important to point their little hearts toward Christ and the sacrifice He made to cover our sins every chance we get and having this on the wall is so helpful!

The Strong-Willed Child (By Dr. James Dobson)

This book, The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson, has been a God-send to a mother who was a compliant child. I wanted nothing more than my parents to be pleased with me, and this book has opened my eyes to the way a strong-willed child is wired.

The book is very careful to point out that God has specially crafted and created these tendencies in your child for a reason. (See a letter to my strong-willed daughter, HERE!) They are going to be the people who stand up for righteousness, even when no one stands with them. God has an amazing purpose for their lives, and this book gives the parent information, tips, and tools to be able to parent and spiritually mentor a strong-willed child effectively because sometimes they are a whole new ball game ;).

I would not have survived those early, run-to-the-pool-to-your-imminent-death years without this book!!

Bible Study for Kids Targeting Obedience

“Because I Said So!” Ever yelled that at your children? No? Yeah, …um…. me either 😉

Because I Said So Bible Study for Kids actually helps train children (and parents to!) to WANT to be obedient.

This Bible study has been designed for children to complete either with a parent or on their own (depending on the age level you purchase). My oldest children did this when they were 4 and 6, and again when they needed a reminder at ages 5 and 7. And you know what!? They loved it!!

It has been a very helpful resource in our quest to know God in a deeper way and training our children to do the same.

RELATED:  10 Tips For First Time Obedience

What resources have you found to train your child in obedience?

Tiffany is an outmatched mama to three crazy amazing kiddoes, Jesus follower, homeschooler, and blogger. Her goal is to encourage and equip mamas like you to be the women God created them to be, even when life’s circumstances leave you completely outmatched. Check out her FREE two week Bible Study for busy mamas – get into the Word even in your busiest season of life!

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Teaching kindness to your children doesn’t have to be difficult, and can even be fun with these tips! Kindness. Something we as Christians are called to “clothe” ourselves with (Colossians 3:12); one of the greatest things we can receive; one of the most difficult things to learn to give. And yet, teach it we must, for we are all very familiar with the fact that God has charged us in His Word to “Train up a child in the way he should go“. And we desire to spend time training our children in the ways of the Lord so that, as He has said, “when (they are) old, (they) will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

The question is how. How do we practically implement training in kindness?

First, the Oxford dictionary defines the process of training as teaching a skill or behavior through “sustained practice and instruction”. Did you catch that? “Sustained practice and instruction.” No matter which character trait you’re trying to teach, write this on the bathroom mirror or some wall where you will see it every morning and evening. Don’t think that changes are going to happen overnight. Training in any character trait will take time, practice, and patience, and more time, practice, and patience. Do not become discouraged.

Second, one of my favorite quotes by George Herbert says that “prayer should be the key of the day and the lock of the night”. Not only is this excellent advice on an individual faith level, but it is also completely applicable to our task as parents.

How to teach kindness to a child

Bathe the training of your children in prayer. Bring them, their strengths and failures, as well as your own as parents, before the Lord daily. Do not begin the day until you have asked for the Lord’s assistance, and do not close your eyes in sleep until you have praised Him for the successes and laid the trials at His feet.

Six Tips for Teaching Kindness to Your Children

1. Memorize Scripture about Kindness

Since the Bible tells us plainly that “I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11), we must trust the fact that having our children hide God’s Word in their heart will make a difference in their actions. The Word of God has power, so allow it to work in the heart of your children.

Consider memorizing verses as a family and displaying them somewhere visible in the house. A chalkboard, bulletin board, etc. would be a great idea for displaying the character trait and verses you currently have as your focus.

Be sure to refer to the verses you are memorizing when you are correcting or applauding your children’s behavior. Here are some good ones to start with:

• Mathew 7:12 – “So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you, for this sums up  the Law and the Prophets.
• 1 Thessalonians 5:15 – “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.”
• 1 John 3:18 – “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.”

2. Read Stories For Teaching Kindness

There’s a reason Jesus chose to teach in parables. Stories can teach a lesson in a very powerful way.

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What is Godly character and what does Godly character look like in your tween?

Parenting any age it’s easy to get lost in analyzing our children’s behavior. The tweens are no different.

Parent and child alike find themselves in an awkward stage of “is it too much or not enough?” Throw in “testing limits” and the start of hormones and we begin to see we are in new parenting territory. Soon we have as many questions as they do!

How do I deal with a tween attitude?

How can I communicate with my tween?

Why are tweens so difficult?

Those are all good things to ask, but often, we miss the most important question. How can we win their hearts for life? Hint: These ways of Building Godly Character is a huge part of this!

6 Ways to Build Godly Character in Your Tween

As tween parents, we have a great opportunity! Between the ages of 8-12, our children’s hearts are moldable. They generally care what we think. The words we speak and the values we hold dear still have meaning to them (even if they don’t always show it).

Most often we are the main influence in their lives.

But as they grow and peer influence tips the scales we begin to wonder. Is it possible for them to grow in Godly character and hold onto their hearts?

I believe with a lot of prayer, intentional Godly character building and heart strategies it is possible!

1 Tim 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

Today we are going to look at Ideas for Building Godly Character in Your Kids

But first, let’s take a minute to focus on Mom (I bet you don’t do that enough!)

Tween Mom Care: Take Care of Your Heart

We can’t effectively build Godly character in our tweens if we don’t first take care of our hearts. Believe me, I’ve tried! We need tons of wisdom, refreshment for our souls, and God’s strength to parent in a way that would honor Him. There is no lasting substitution. The only way to set our parenting on a firm foundation and build Godly character in your tweens is to be in God’s word and prayer.

As a busy Mom, are you worried about fitting it into your schedule? I understand! But I can’t begin to tell you how faithful He has been to lead me in the amount of time I have. If you are intentional in meeting with Him daily you will notice the difference! He is where we will find hope for the hopeless days, strength for the emotional battles and loads of grace to return to!

Find Some Tween Mom Support

Mom, we need all kinds of support! As our kids grow and change, we have to be continually learning as parents. Did you think the constant need to “figure this parenting thing out” would decrease after the baby stage? I really did! I thought at some point I would just “get it”. Yes, I was wrong 😃

It could be true for a time. Maybe you start to feel like you are getting the hang of it and then.. welcome to parenting the tweens! Thankfully we have so many resources to tap into to help us navigate things well. We can read parenting books and blog posts, listen to podcasts and ask for resource ideas in parenting groups.

We also need “been there done that” kind of wisdom! None of us can do this alone. In fact, we shouldn’t. It’s not the way God intended it! We are created for community. Find support in friendships with other Moms in Mom’s Groups and Homeschool Co-ops.

We should continue to learn by talking with each other while we’re in the trenches and praying for one another. We can come together, support and encourage one another and learn! A win-win for us all.

Tween Character Building Tips

Now that you’ve taken good care of your heart. Let’s switch focus to them. We’ll take a look at 6 Ways to Build Godly Character in Your Tween.

Pray For and With Your Tween

I can’t say this enough. Pray often. Pray together or for them when they can hear you. In public and in private. Invite them to pray with you. Just pray! It is an incredibly powerful tool.

You have a direct parenting tip line to the one who created both you and your child! Think about that. Who could know better? Praying in the tween stage is a great way to bring both of your hearts in line with God’s will. He will help you see clearly what steps to take to build His character in our children.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thes 5:16-18

{Want some help in this area? Find out how to encourage your tween child to pray and get a FREE 30 Day Printable Prayer Calendar for them. It has verses pertaining to a lot of the struggles they are dealing with today!}

Embrace Empathy For Your Tween

Come with me for a moment.. think back to your pre-teen years. What comes to mind? Do you remember feeling awkward or unsure of yourself? What about feeling a little bit crazy when experiencing emotions for the first time? Did you ever just want someone to acknowledge your feelings or say “it’s ok?”.

Even though these years can be a roller-coaster of emotions, I want to encourage you to hang on to empathy. When we help them to understand and process their own feelings, they are more likely to show concern for other’s feelings. We can ask good questions to help them handle problems as they arise.

• How do you think that made them feel?
• What would you want someone to say to you in that situation?
• Can you think of a way to help them feel better?

Sibling squabbles and growing friendships are great areas that teach empathy to tweens.

Take Advantage of the Teachable Moments With Your Tween

This is a beautiful gift that God gives us in parenting! It’s incredibly important and often overlooked because of the busyness of life. We can be so focused on getting things done (been there) that we breeze by the opportunity.

There are many times where I have had to pray for the strength to stop and use a situation to help teach them Godly character. But my kids will also be the first to tell you I find many opportunities for teachable moments, I really love this aspect of parenting!

Here are a few things to remember about building Godly character in your tween through teachable moments:

It’s a two-way conversation. These moments aren’t forced and we aren’t preaching at them. Instead, it’s a chance to go back and forth. Take each step intentionally in your conversation. Fight against defaulting to a flurry of parenting instruction.

Build Godly Character in Your Tween as You Show Interest in Them

This one is easy and tough all in the same! In the tweens, it’s important that our kids know that we value what they value. This helps them to feel secure. It also helps keep us connected to them in these new areas that they are branching out to. They will come to us for our opinion more if we show interest in what they are interested in.

One of the biggest lies Satan loves to beat tweens and teens up with is that the parents don’t care.. or that no one really cares. Then they step out to find someone or something that does “care” about them.

The easy part is when we share interests! Keep noticing any little or big ways you share interests with your child. Try to do little intentional things to encourage it. The hard part is when their interests are not at all the same as yours. The best thing you can do in this case is listening and try to learn. You may not come to know every detail of everything they enjoy but do pay attention to knowing their favorites!

Ask questions about the things they like. Trying to find ways to incorporate it into their homeschool or their regular day is a bonus! Even asking them to share 1 random fact here and there about what they enjoy can go a long way in their hearts. They will know that it may not be an interest of yours. They will see you are showing them, genuine love, because you are choosing the person over the hobby or interest.

When we show them real-life examples of this, they will often reciprocate. They will understand that their friends may not have all the same hobbies or interests. More importantly, they will be able to show God’s love to others by coming up with ways to encourage them despite the difference!

Let Your Tween Branch Out Safely

Does this thought make you a little, nervous? It’s ok, me too! Tweens branching out safely will look different for each family. But it is a part of the tween parenting stage. In the beginning, it will be small things.

Notice when they have been diligent in an area consistently. It’s a great starting point. This can prompt you to encourage them in their progress and hand over more control in another area. This process will not only be different for each family but for each child in the family!

The exciting thing is that Godly character building can already begin to show fruit in the tweens. This is a real encouragement to parents as we know character building is a process we need to continue throughout their childhood. Building Godly character in our children can make branching out an easier process.

Be Flexible in Tween Parenting

If you haven’t already noticed there is a lot of flexibility required in tween parenting! If you try something and it’s not working, it’s ok to try another approach! Prayer is a great tool in this area. God can lead us and guide us down the different paths needed to parent our child for His glory.

Remember that building Godly character in our kids is going to start with our hearts and walk with the Lord. Following His word and His ways will overflow abundantly into your parenting! Your tween child is growing, changing and branching out. This is a beautiful thing! By making building Godly character and winning their hearts a priority, you are setting them up for the best foundation you can offer them!

If you are looking for more Tween Parenting Encouragement, I would love to have your join our FREEBIES Hub of Biblical Resources where you can download your FREE ebook, worksheets, printables, resource kit and more! Click on the picture for more information.

Joining you in the in be”tween”,

Lee

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Are you feeling like a failure as a parent? For some of us becoming a mother was natural. As little girls, we dreamed of marriage, kids, white picket fences, visits to the park, and night time snuggles. We had plenty of practice with babysitting on weekends or even watching our younger siblings so our parents could have a weekly date night. We seem to have been born to be a mom, we are nurturers who walked into motherhood effortlessly.

When You’re Feeling Like a Failure as a Parent

There are plenty of us, however, that battle with feeling like a complete and total failure as a parent. Maybe we had the same dreams but soon found out that reality looked drastically different. Somewhere between, teething, screaming babies, tantrum-throwing toddlers, emotional tweens, and unreachable teens we lost sight of that dream we once held dearly. And when this happens, you begin to feel like a failure as a mom.

Then add in homeschooling, mounds of endless laundry, breakfast, lunch, and dinner meal plan, prep & clean-up, housekeeping, unexpected sickness, lack of money, and all the other demands of life.

That’s when we begin to question our abilities to mother and homeschool. We question if we truly have what it takes to successfully raise up and teach these little gifts that God has entrusted to us. 

Why do I feel like a bad mother?

Don’t allow condemnation to take hold when it seems like everything’s falling apart. When our kids don’t grasp a new lesson right away or seem to be behind their peers, it’s ok. If someone quizzes them and they don’t have the answer don’t immediately assume you are failing your kids.

Uncertainty happens when the voices inside our heads scream that we aren’t sufficient. Uncertainty is a cousin to fear. When we try to step out in courage, fear or uncertainty keeps the “what if’s” before us.

• What if I say I can teach my kids, only to find out I really can’t?
• What if I let my child down?
• How do I know if I’m a bad mom?
• What if they don’t get into college?

If we aren’t diligent in keeping the “what if’s” in check we will find ourselves frozen in fear. 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” II Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ (‭NKJV)‬‬

Certainty in Christ When You’re Feeling Like a Failure as a Parent

What does God say about motherhood? When insecurity keeps us locked up in fear, certainty in our Savior is the ultimate tool to break the chains of fear that binds us. Fear says, “I can’t.” Certainty in Christ says, “I can because God is with me!”

Genuine certainty is truly “God-certainty.” It’s less about trusting ourselves as it is about having faith in what God can do through us. It’s changing the message that is replaying inside our heads from “I can’t” to “God can!”

It’s renewing our minds to His Word. The Bible affirms this in Jeremiah 17:7: “Blessed [with spiritual security] is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the Lord And whose hope and confident expectation is the Lord.” (AMP).

Certainty follows a divine design. You and I are made to do life in relationship and partnership with our Creator. Our imperfections are covered by His Grace. When we start to see ourselves through God’s eyes, we can embrace our imperfections and begin resting wholly in His perfect Love and Grace.

This also happens when we accept who God made us to be, as opposed to regretting our identity. Uncertainty keeps us taking part in the comparison game. We’re left yearning to be like them: more inventive, more creative, more patient, more educated.

The list is endless.

Nonetheless, certainty happens as we learn to embrace our weaknesses right along with our strengths. We grow in faith through our weaknesses as we allow God to be glorified through them. We become content with who we were created to be, not who we weren’t.

Count it All Joy When You’re Feeling Like a Failure as a Parent

Each time our hopes and dreams or lofty expectations of how motherhood and homeschooling is suppose to look doesn’t mirror real life, we have a decision. To push ahead with joy or throw a carnal fit and again feel like you are failing.

How we respond to “expectation derail” is 99 percent of what the outcome will be. These moments are key to growing in Christ ourselves and also building character in our children. Slow down, take a breath and think before you react because our reaction can either make us or break us.

Anger can get set off by the simplest things when they pile up. Child A fusses every time you are working through math together,  child B won’t sit still during the read-aloud time and child C lost his shoe again and we are running late for co-op again.

But, when we are consistent with prayer and time in the Word we start to become aware of the physical and emotional cues before lashing out at our children.

What does God say about motherhood?

Where does our strength as parents come from? The strength to resist the urge comes from the moment we took to read our bible and hide His Word within the innermost parts of our hearts. The anger is a bubbling, steaming, overwhelming fury that wants to detonate accusations against our children. It is the enemy of joy, but God is there with us. His Word rises up and then joy and peace win.

Eventually, we begin to acknowledge that we are deciding how we react in the battle. We have control over the way we see things and that ultimately happiness is a choice. Contentment is a decision. This is tied in with choosing joy when the going gets tough—or when things get hard humbly count it all joy.

It is knowing that we are growing in patience and training our kids’ character when we choose joy. It’s not easy when we try to do this on our own, but with His Word stirring in our heart, it becomes so.

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” –James‬ ‭1:2-4‬ (‭NKJV‬‬)

My friend, the Joy of the Lord is yours for the taking! Grab it! Hold on to it! Passionately interlace it with certainty in Christ and all those dreams you once had as a little girl, you may just see some become a reality. At the least, His peace will reign and the feelings of failure will fade.

What do you do when you feel like you’re failing as a parent?

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Forest Rose is a God Loving, Blessed Wife, & Relaxed, Eclectic Homeschooling Mama to 3 girls – 7, 9, & 11 in Fort Wayne, Indiana. She blogs at Kingdom First Homeschool and hosts a Homeschooling 101 Community on Facebook. She’s passionate about lifting moms out of the homeschooling trenches that are discouraged, overwhelmed or feeling alone or isolated. Her hope is to point them to Christ and equip them to rise up with a new found hope and joy within that He alone can provide.

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Teaching gratitude to kids starts with our own attitude. The absolute best way to instill grateful hearts in our children is by example. Whether it is showing and feeling gratitude towards another person or towards God, there are small (and big) ways we can do so. This starts in the heart, our own heart. The following is not an exhaustive list, but rather a starting point. This is how we can both learn and teach gratitude in our homes.

How To Teach Gratitude To Your Kids

Teaching Kids to be Thankful

Simply said, give thanks. This may be the most obvious thing we can do, but can often be overlooked in our busy lives. In prayer and out loud, express thanks to God for everything! You can do this at the dinner table when saying ‘grace’ and when you say bedtime prayers, of course.

Gratitude During Activities For Kids

Give thanks as you are doing activities throughout the day. Express gratitude in unplanned and random moments as well! Thank God for the joy in your day, the strength He has given you, the child at your side. Let them give thanks for playing, working, and resting as well. Your children will learn to see blessings in the ordinary and to Whom thanks is owed.

Express Gratitude Regularly

Always say “thank-you”. Again, an obvious but important way to teach our children gratitude. Say “thank-you” to them and others around you for acts of service. Children need to know you appreciate them and are thankful for them. When they know you are grateful for them (and their efforts) it will help them to see the importance of having (and showing) gratitude towards others.

Show Gratitude in More Than Words

Show thanks to others for their kindness towards you and your family. By “show” I mean take the time to show gratitude with more than just words of thanks. Bake a cake to bring to them as a gift of gratefulness. Help others in their time of need. Handwrite personal notes of gratefulness and mail them to those who have blessed you. Include your children and let them take an active role in the gratitude you/they have for others. Taking the time to serve others because you are thankful for their presence in your life shows gratitude from the heart.

Thankfulness Activities

Actually count your blessings. Intentionally point out blessings throughout the day. Literally spend time with your children counting everything you are thankful for. Go so far as to have a ‘gratitude journal’ that you have handy every day to jot down blessings that either you or your children think of. Take it out every so often and read the blessings you have recorded to remind them and yourself of how blessed you are. Then practice the above steps of giving thanks to God, saying “thank-you” to your children, and showing gratitude to others.

Instilling Gratitude Habits: Practice Gratitude Today

• • Pray out loud with your children expressing gratitude to God for His grace and for your children. Get specific, what is it about your children you are you most thankful for?
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  • Use words to let your children know when you are grateful for their efforts – say “thank-you” often!
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  • Use actions to show gratitude to your children and others. Do something kind and unexpected for your child (help them with a chore, invite them to spend time with you doing something they enjoy).
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  • Let them know you wanted to show them you are thankful for them. Talk about how someone has blessed your family and how you want to return the favor and then excitedly choose an act of service you can do as a family to show gratitude!
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  • Write it down! Use a blank notebook, a special gratitude journal, or sign up to receive the printable journaling pages in this post. Practice gratitude while recording blessings big and small that you and your children discover throughout the day.

Parenting is hard work, but it provides us with a lot of opportunities to learn and grow as God’s children while raising children for God. Read more parenting articles full of practical tips & encouragement for your parenting journey at my blog. 

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Clarissa R. West is a Christian, Wife, Homeschool Mom to 7 Children with Medical & Special Needs, Grieving Mom to 1 Child in Heaven, Homemaker, and Writer. You can find her at ClarissaRWest.com sharing practical tips & encouraging others to count blessings, seek joy, and find strength in Jesus. FREE CHARACTER LESSONS Sign Up and receive our special subscriber freebie: 4 WEEKS OF CHARACTER LESSONS Email*

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How can I help my teenager with time management? If you find yourself asking this question, you are not alone. Many books have been written on the subject of time management. There are many different strategies to help your teens learn essential time management skills. Here, we will briefly examine five tips to guide you as you begin the time management training process.

5 Practical Tips To Help Your Teen With Time Management

1. Understanding the need for time management skills for your teenager

The challenges confronting our children are unlike those faced by recent generations. As our children grow older, more independent, and gradually move out from our protection, they are bombarded with a host of temptations and distractions.

Stephen Covey’s classic book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, urges us to “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Homeschool graduate Christos Dimoulis’s insight can help us understand our teenagers’ perspective:

“When it came to time-management, my biggest challenge was distraction. Social media is one example. My Facebook account wasted countless hours of my time. I developed a habit of leaving my work to check my feed every five minutes.

“In what could legitimately be called an addiction, I found it increasingly difficult to focus on my assignments. I shudder to think of the opportunities I would have missed had I traveled through the black-holes of Instagram and Snapchat….”

Christos speaks for many teens today. Although it can be helpful to limit their access to electronic devices, it is critical that we help them learn how to handle those devices responsibly. (That topic alone could fill another book.)

2. Remember Every Teen is Unique

Don’t be surprised if you discover that the time management strategy that works for one child proves totally ineffective with another. Each child is unique. Just as there are a variety of learning styles, there are also a variety of time management styles. This leads us to the next tip…

3. Focus on Results Rather Than Methods

Wondering what methods students could apply to improve their time management skills? When my firstborn son was still in homeschool, I invested hours coaching him on time blocking on digital calendars, the Kanban approach, paper planners, and more. As I wrote this post, I asked him what advice he would offer to parents seeking to help their children become effective time managers.

His response carried a bit of a bite, but I think he’s right. He said we shouldn’t worry about what method our children use; instead, we should focus on results. Introduce your children to a variety of methods, (memories of our time management training sessions flash through my mind), but give them the freedom and flexibility to adopt whatever system works best for them.

4. Time Management Tip: Give Your Children Deadlines

As home educators, we have the ability to be flexible. We can establish what we believe to be the best learning environment. If your children are involved in outside classes or activities, they probably encounter assignments with fixed due dates. That naturally gives them the opportunity to practice the art of time management.

Children need a balance of both freedom and structure. Even if they have deadlines outside of your homeschool, be sure to give them deadlines for the work they do at home, too.

5. Be Gracious When They Fail

Be firm, but also be gracious. Although the failure to meet a deadline may bring consequences (such as a lower grade or privileges temporarily revoked), be gentle. Like any new skill, time management takes practice to develop. In time, (and with much prayer), that fledging will take flight and you will see your mature time manager soar!

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Stacy Farrell is the author of more than ten books on a variety of topics, including time management, motherhood, manhood, philosophy, and writing. She speaks at homeschool conferences, writes for leading Christian homeschool magazines, and is the founder of Home School Adventure Co. Although she loves to write, speak, and teach, Stacy considers her role as wife to Roger and mother to two precious sons to be her greatest work and privilege. Learn more about her resources at HomeSchoolAdventure.com.

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Where do you start with teaching respect? Teaching our children respect is so important because it is foundational to all other relational skills, to the success of their relationships, and deference to God. 1 Peter 2:17 KJV reads, “Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.” See how it touches all areas of our lives? It is an important trait! So how do you teach your child respect?

3 Simple And Practical Ways To Teach Respect To Your Children

When we see that we are to show respect to all people, it means showing respect to our kids as well. We can teach them about respect and reinforce it by responding rather than reacting to them, studying or reading about it with them, and modeling it for them.

Teach Respect to Your Kids by Responding Rather than Reacting

When we feel threatened we tend to slip back down to a more primitive area in our brain — the flight or fight area. As this happens, we tend to react rather than respond. Anytime we react rather than responding, we can potentially come across as very disrespectful and potentially create an unsafe environment.

I know there is a lot of talk lately about “safe spaces” and poking fun. Within a home though, I truly believe a child should feel physically and emotionally safe at all times possible. We can be firm and correct without being disrespectful. Experiencing this insecurity, they too may get reactive and act out disrespectfully.

If you find yourself out-bursting often, try to stop and ask yourself what is the reason behind your intense reaction. Is it fear, lack of control, guilt, etc…? I’m going to share a personal story with you that’s a little bit embarrassing, but a perfect example. My youngest son took off the other day and hid outside behind my car. When I realized where he went to, I yelled, “Get your butt back in here NOW!” Oops. After a bit of a stand-off, I realized I needed to stop, breathe, and assess the situation.

I was afraid.

By reacting out of fear I ended up speaking disrespectfully towards him. I took a deep breath and instead told him, “If you aren’t willing to come back inside, I’ll need to call the police to come to help me (he is beyond my ability to physically control). I can’t simply let you run around here in the street alone. It’s unsafe, and I would be sad if something happened to you. I know you’re angry, but this behavior isn’t going to help you feel better.”

He came inside right away and he apologized for his behavior.

Easy Ways to Teach Respect Teach Respect To Your Kids

Keep in mind, when they are acting disrespectfully, what may be at the root of the anxiety-causing their reaction. After that tension is diffused, you can begin to work on talking about respect immediately following. Provide them with strategies for recognizing those feelings and handling them respectfully.

Ways to work on conditioning yourself to respond rather than react include prayer and journaling. Writing in a journal daily can help you notice areas (in retrospect) that you may not have given a second thought to otherwise. Prayer, of course, can do the same and expose many things that you need to know about yourself, as well as provide you ample encouragement and insight. You can also ask for your children or spouse to point it out for you when you’re doing it.

Studying God’s Word And Reading

The Bible is a great place to go for lessons in respect! Honestly, why not let it be the first place that you go? There is curriculum that you can use such as Little Lads and Ladies of Wisdom and Virtue from Kathie, plenty of Bible studies for both mom and children, as well as devotionals that speak to this topic. If you’ve got a house full of avid readers then that’s another option.

You can find plenty of psychology books for you; helping to understand how you’re reacting and how you can show respect and teach respect. There are plenty of storybooks for children as well these days. Encourage them to point out respect and disrespect in any of their books as you read. Being able to identify respect and disrespect is key in developing an attitude of respect. Additionally, encourage your children to do copy work that centers around the idea of respect and respectful behaviors.

Teaching Respect to your Children by Modeling Respect

Surely, you’ve heard the saying actions speak louder than words. Who hasn’t, right?! So, the thing is, as parents our example speaks the loudest. It’s louder than anyone else around our children! How we treat people is a key factor in teaching them about respect.

If we want them to understand that respect is a two-way street, they need to have practical application. When we mess up, an apology should be given, and the moment used to teach about respecting all people. In the future, when they “stick their foot in it,” you can refer to the times you’ve modeled making amends after disrespectful words.

How we treat our spouse is another place our actions speak loudly into the hearts of our children. Seeing a healthy relationship and respect in all circumstances, they build a strong foundation a strong marriage. In fact, they can also come to a solid understanding that respecting people you disagree with is 100% possible! It’s a marathon, not a sprint (and I’m running with you)…

Hopefully, you’ve seen clearly how learning respect is an integral part of your children’s overall social-emotional skill set. Try practicing one or more of the suggestions I’ve shared, and you should start to see some improvement in your kids’ (and your own) behaviors! If you tend to have intense reactions that are less than respectful, start there and do your best to remember to apologize; use it as a teaching moment. Consider a bit of reading about teaching kids respect, and don’t forget to keep a journal to help you see where you can grow. Remember, this is a lifelong process; for you both, and for your kids! It will take time, and God’s grace is sufficient!

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