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If there is one thing we want our children to be, it is independent. We want them to be independent readers, independent in life skills, independent in their prayer lives. As a homeschooling family, it’s important that our kids learn how to become independent homeschoolers.

How to Teach Your Kids to be Independent Homeschoolers

If you are new to homeschooling or really don’t know how to begin this process, I want to walk you through it. After all, we’re in this together! Here is how to teach your kids to be independent homeschoolers.

Know What You Want to Teach and Why

It can be hard to produce independent homeschoolers if you don’t narrow down what you want them to learn. You can raise independent homeschoolers by knowing what you want to teach them and why.

You will get them started on learning and from there, they will eventually be able to learn on their own. Narrowing down the subjects your children are learning is so important.

Of course, there will also be times when they take off in several directions, but you will be there to rein them in if they get too far off track. You can always make a list of those interests and save them for homeschool extra credit (of sorts).

Know Your Child’s Learning Style

We want our kids to “get it” and enjoy the learning process. They aren’t going to love everything but if we teach to their individual learning style it becomes a lot easier for them and us.

Public schools tend to have a set curriculum for all students. They have one way to teach and everyone has to learn that way. It’s kinda like trying to put a square peg in a circle hole. The squares cannot thrive because they are forced to be a circle.

Homeschooling is a safe place to allow our kids to be themselves, learn the way they thrive, and even slowly build skills of the learning styles that aren’t their dominant way of learning. Yet another benefit of homeschooling – we can teach to their learning style and build their confidence to learn. Thus creating independent homeschoolers.

Independent Homeschoolers Need a Guide 

You can’t expect your kid to NEVER need your help. This is why it’s better when parents work more as guides in homeschooling. Your children will always need you in some capacity when it comes to homeschooling no matter the age or level. When you guide your child, you are telling them “hey, give this a try on your own, but I’m always here if you need my help.”

When they have a question or are struggling to move forward you are there as a helper when they get stuck. This not only gives them confidence, but it empowers your kids to want to work independently.

Allow Your Child To Work Independently

Your child will never learn how to be an independent homeschooler if you don’t allow them to work independently. Just like you may struggle when someone is looking over your shoulder, your child may struggle when you’re looking over their shoulder.

Let them try and work independently and watch them flourish. They may struggle a little bit, but the struggle is a big part of the learning process.

Let Your Children Pursue Their Interests Independently

This is where the homeschool extra credit (of sorts) comes in. Another way to teach your kids to be independent homeschoolers is to allow your children to pursue their own interests. After they have done what you ask of them, allow them to be creative, and pursue their own passions. After all, homeschooling does allow for extra time for this kind of learning to be able to happen.

When your child is following their passions homeschooling will not seem like work at all to them or you. Your child will be more engaged and will be excited to pursue new interests every single day.

Independent Learners Learn So Much

When it comes to independent learning, your children are going to learn so much. Your children are going to learn how to be independent learners, but they are going to learn how to be responsible for their own school work. They are going to learn how to take pride in their own school work.

Your children will take off with their learning and you will be super impressed with their progress. You will notice that one interest will break off into several rabbit trails and before you know it they are learning at a rapid pace, while retaining the information. When your child is interested they retain!

Allow Student Planning in Your Home

Something really cool that we’ve been using in our homeschooling is student planning pages. These free planning pages allow your student to plan what they are doing. Independent learning has truly never been easier than when you have the right tools.

Learning how to teach your kids to be independent homeschoolers may be a little easier than you thought. With the right planning and tools, your child can be an independent learner and thinker, all while being a homeschooler. 

How have you taught your children to be independent homeschoolers?

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30 Days of the Best Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms Series Contributor:

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There are many things I wish I had known when I started homeschooling. I still remember what I said the first time I heard about someone teaching their kids at home:  “I could never do that!”

I seriously didn’t think I would ever be qualified to do such a thing! At the time I didn’t know anything about homeschooling, so that made it seem very overwhelming to me.

Over time God used people and resources to change my mind, and with a bit of trepidation mixed with excitement, I began kindergarten at home with my daughter. Two years later I added our next daughter to our school, and on it went with all eight of our kids.

Over the last 31 years, I have learned many things that  I wish I had known when I first started homeschooling. I will share some of the top ones with you.

9 Things I Wish I Had Known When I Started Homeschooling

1. Relationships are more important than academics

There were many times in my early days of homeschooling when I would get frustrated and impatient with one of my kids when they just couldn’t “get it”.

Math was a big struggle with one of my kids, and there were many days when she sensed my impatience or frustration. She would run to her room crying, and that was the end of our school work for the day.

Read: DON’T LET MATH RUIN YOUR HOMESCHOOL

After a while, I realized that not only was  I  allowing a face-off with an academic subject to kill her love of learning, but I was also allowing it to hurt our relationship.

At that point, I realized the subject wasn’t all that important in comparison to our relationship. Relationship always trumps academics. 

2. I wish I had known that commitment is the key to success

There have been many times when I would have rather skipped school, and just read a book or slept in. Other times, I wanted to put ALL the kids in the Christian school.

However,  my husband and I felt God had called us to teach them at home, and we made a commitment to do that.

Commitment keeps you consistent and keeps you from acting on your feelings or quitting on those rough days.

3. You are qualified to homeschool your kids

If you love to read to your kids, spend time with them, and watch them as they learn new things, you are qualified to homeschool them! Nobody loves them as you do, or knows them as well as you do.

As a homeschool parent, you don’t have to be an expert!  No teacher has all the answers, but they know where to find them. As we look for answers while teaching our kids, we are teaching them how to be lifelong learners.

4. You don’t have to teach every subject every day

In the elementary years, it’s best to focus on the 3 R’s, along with lots of reading aloud and playtime. You can introduce them to history and science by having them read historical novels and nature readers a couple of days each week.

5. I wish I knew it is normal to be afraid

We want to give our kids the best education and do all we can to prepare them for life and God’s purpose. It’s a big responsibility, so a little fear is normal.

You WILL question yourself – A LOT – especially in the beginning. That’s normal and okay. Find other homeschoolers to encourage and support you.

6. It doesn’t take all day to homeschool your kids

Much of the time that children spend at school is spent in waiting, recess, and lunch. Even though kids are at school for about 8 hours a day, they aren’t actually doing school work that whole time.

Don’t try to copy the schools or another family’s homeschool. Don’t worry if someone else spends six-plus hours a day, and your kids are done in two or three hours!

Keep in mind that kids are learning all the time, even though it may not be through sitting down and working in books.

7. There will be bad days

I wish I had known when I started homeschooling that there will be bad days. Those bad days used to really get me discouraged, but then I realized that bad days are just part of the package.

We all have days when we are tired or just not feeling up to par, and we also have those days when the kids are being extra difficult and trying our patience.

I found that the best thing to do on those bad days is to take a break. Put the books aside and go outside for a walk, or sit at the table and play a game.

If the bad days are happening too often, try to determine what the character issues are, then take a few days to work on character.

8. You don’t need to worry about high school

Probably one of the things I hear most often when people are afraid to homeschool, is that they don’t think they can teach their kids high school.

If God has called you to homeschool, don’t worry about how you will handle it eight or nine years down the road. God just asks that you be faithful today. 

He will help you with high school when the time comes, or provide you with the help you need. God doesn’t call us to something, and then not provide the help we need!

9. Homeschooling will reveal your character flaws, and help you grow

It was probably on the very first day of our home school that my lack of patience was revealed! God used my difficult children to help me grow in the areas of self-control on a daily basis.

Homeschooling also gives you the opportunity to see the character flaws in your kids, and work on them daily as you are teaching them.

If they are having a bad attitude, it’s much better to stop the work and deal with it than let them get two lessons done with a bad attitude.

When there is a problem with obedience, address it right away. Read:10 Tips For First Time Obedience

Having the kids there gives us a definite opportunity to work on their character. Don’t look at it as a disturbance, but rather take advantage of those chances to train them in Godly behavior and character.

What you know or don’t know as you begin to home school, or continue to home school, isn’t the big issue. The most important thing you need to know is that you have to rely on God. Don’t start a day of your school without first seeking Him in prayer for direction and wisdom.

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It is easy these days to get overwhelmed with all the things we’re supposed to do as homeschool moms, isn’t it? So many subjects, methods, checklists, standards… so many articles about all the things our homeschool needs to be successful. All the guilt-inducing photos on Pinterest and Instagram.

Sometimes these things can be helpful. But sometimes they only lead to exhaustion and discouragement. Well, friend, I’m here to ease your burden! Here are 10 things you DON’T have to do in your homeschool.

10 Things You DON’T Have to Do in Your Homeschool

1) What the Public Schools are Doing

Not only do you not have to do what the public schools are doing, but it isn’t even recommended. Now, you probably will do that a little bit if you went to public school. After all, it’s what you’re used to, and that’s ok. But you’ll soon find that the public school baggage is not necessary at all and can even get in the way of the many benefits of homeschooling.

Instead, start to think about homeschooling as a private home tutoring model. Focus on your child’s needs and your goals for their education. It’s a paradigm shift you’ll end up loving! It’s more effective than trying to replicate a model designed for government education. 

2) What Other Homeschoolers are Doing

It’s always helpful and fun to glean ideas from web sites, blogs, and our homeschooling friends. I enjoy it, too! Just keep reminding yourself of this important truth: your homeschool is unique and doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s!

In fact, your homeschool experience will be more successful and enjoyable if you avoid falling into the comparison trap. Consider all those ideas a buffet to choose from and craft your own awesome homeschool!

3) Early Academics 

Kids don’t NEED early academics beyond read alouds and joining the family in regular life experiences. Really. There’s rarely a need for early reading programs, flashcards, preschool or kindergarten curriculum, etc. So don’t hesitate to set aside the lesson plans until 1st or 2nd grade (keeping your state laws in mind, of course).

However, dear mama, if you WANT to do some early academics, don’t feel guilty about that either! As long as your child is enjoying it, you’re fine. Just be careful not to start pushing for performance, because kids in these early years have a wide range in terms of developmental readiness and it’s best to do learning in a natural and gentle way. 

4) Be an Expert on Anything

You can homeschool your child in all the subjects without being an expert in any of them. You will be learning along with your child, and it’s actually one of the awesome things about homeschooling! Remember that many parents have homeschooled their kids from birth through high school and have graduated them successfully. You can, too!

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are not trained or knowledgeable enough to teach your own kids.  It’s just false. Especially nowadays with all the resources available to us, all you really need to be an expert on is your own child.

5) Find the Perfect Curriculum

I’ll be the first to admit that I love curriculum research and shopping. But don’t let that turn into analysis paralysis! You aren’t likely to find THE ONE curriculum that does everything you want and works for every child and every circumstance. So go ahead and stop stressing over that.

The best curriculum is the one you actually use. Further, many curriculum options can be adapted to fit your needs. So do your research to find the curriculum that meets your goals and dive in. Just don’t be surprised by hiccups! Tweak those materials as needed to make them work for you and go right on homeschooling. 

6) Craft the Perfect Schedule

In our first years of homeschooling I spent a lot of time spinning my wheels trying to put together the perfect schedule. It was exhausting! After 10 years of homeschooling, here’s what I can tell you: the very nature of families who are always growing and learning makes “the perfect” homeschool schedule impossible.

Now, having some structure for our days is a good thing. It’s a huge blessing to my family to have flexible rhythms and routines that help us thrive. But sketch those routines in pencil! Remember that they will change along with your family’s seasons and milestones.

7) Do Lesson Planning

It may seem like having detailed lesson plans for the week or month is a good idea. But if you’re anything like me, those shiny plans never actually happen and you end up feeling defeated. If you LOVE to run your homeschool with lesson plans, then definitely do that! But if you struggle with it, consider ditching the detailed lesson plans.

I like to use my planner to make general goals for the year, sketch out things like projects and field trips for the upcoming quarter, and then after that… I just write down each month what we actually DO! It is so freeing. It can also help you realize how much you do each week that is learning outside of the lesson plans. 

8) Stick to Your Plans

Whether your plans are loose or detailed, don’t sweat it if you veer off plan. Flexibility and freedom – that’s what homeschooling is all about! If the day is gorgeous, go on a nature walk and don’t fret about the desk work. If there is illness or major life change happening, make your homeschool fit your life and not the other way around.

While a certain level of perseverance and consistency over the course of your homeschool years is helpful, remember that a detour doesn’t have to sink you, whether it’s for a day, a week, a month, or even sometimes the whole year. Adjust as needed and move on!

9) Make Everything Fun or Beautiful

Of course, we want our kids to remember our homeschool years fondly. We want to incorporate things that are interesting, fun, engaging, and beautiful. But as great as those can be, don’t think that you’re failing if things aren’t always fun or beautiful.

Sometimes our goals are to manage to take a shower, get the baby to nap, or check math off for the day, and that’s totally ok! For days when you CAN do some fun and beautiful, don’t discount the simple things like playing board games or going for a walk around the neighborhood to look at nature. 

10) Worry Whether You’re Doing Enough 

Every homeschool mom worries about this. Group hug! But here’s the thing: If you’re worrying about whether or not you’re doing enough, you probably don’t need to worry about it at all. Intentional parents who do their best to help their children know and love God and to educate them well… those parents are doing exactly what they are called to do and the Lord will equip them for the task.

Will it be perfect? No. Will there be gaps in their education? Yes, because every education has gaps. The key is to keep your eyes on Christ and your priorities in focus. The rest will fall into place! 

[Download the Free Prayer Calendar for Homeschool Moms]

You’ve got this, friend! When you start to feel overwhelmed, come back to this list of what you don’t have to do in your homeschool and take a deep breath. 

As parents, you are ultimately responsible for your children’s education. Design your homeschool as you see fit. Then enjoy your kids and the homeschool journey!

~ Tauna

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30 Days of the Best Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms Series Contributor:

Tauna Meyer is a homeschooling mom of 6 who speaks to women with encouragement that is relatable and tools that work in real life. She has a passion for helping moms overcome the hurdles that keep them from homeschooling successfully, all while pointing themselves and their children to Christ. Visit Tauna at Proverbial Homemaker today! 

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As a homeschool mom of elementary students, I thought the three keys to back-to-homeschool sanity were researching curriculum, organizing my homeschool space, and choosing extracurricular activities. Now, as a 21-year veteran, I know better. If you want your homeschool to be sane and happy this year, focus on these areas: faith, relationships, and self-care.

Three Keys to Back to Homeschool Sanity

Faith is the first key to back-to-homeschool sanity.

I began my homeschool journey like Peter–walking on water. Jesus called me to homeschool. I didn’t see how it could work with my desire to be a writer, my lack of organization, and my problem with impatience. I was nervous, but I stepped out in faith.

At first, I seemed to be walking the walk. But then I focused on the wind and waves. I was afraid. My kids could walk away from the faith. I could leave them poorly prepared for college. I thought I had to step carefully. That’s when I started to sink.

If God has called you to homeschool, He will equip you every step of the way–even when your child has a learning challenge, when you don’t know much about the subject you need to teach, or when you feel discouraged.

Understand that the Lord does not hold us accountable for results in our homeschools–just obedience. Peter didn’t have to figure out how to stay above water; he only had to keep his eyes on Jesus and walk toward Him. Worrying about choosing the right curriculum, the right extracurricular activities, and even the right discipline approach isn’t the burden God wants us to carry. He has a plan for our children that we can enjoy being a part of.

This key to back-to-homeschool sanity begins with daily prayer. Turn every worry over to the Lord during your personal devotions. I like to write my worries out daily. Then remind yourself that God has you by reading His Word.

But don’t stop with personal devotions. Make time to pray with your spouse and with your children. If that’s the only thing you accomplish for school on a particularly hard day, it’s more than enough.

The Organized Homeschool Life book and planner can help you make personal and family devotions a habit.

Relationships are the second key to back-to-homeschool sanity.

I used to do premarital counseling. Most couples gave more attention to the wedding ceremony, the reception venue, and the honeymoon than they did to their relationship. I see homeschoolers doing the same thing. We think curriculum, homeschool rooms, and extracurricular activities can make our homeschool successful when these things aren’t foundational.

While I have evidence that my high school graduates received a superior education through homeschooling, the close relationships we have with them and the relationships they have with each other are far more valuable to us. These close relationships didn’t just happen.

To enjoy healthy relationships, we have to devote time to fostering them. If our homeschool schedule is so busy that we have nothing left to give our spouse and no time to spend getting to know our child’s heart, our homeschooling and family life are at risk. Set aside time to focus on relationships that cannot be superceded by other demands.

Next, we can focus on relationships by dealing with trouble spots head-on. The top areas homeschoolers ask me for help with are developing a reasonable approach to discipline, addressing parental problems with anger, and teaching kids how to resolve sibling conflict. There are no simple fixes for these common issues, but with commitment, we can see the Lord making changes in our families.

The Homeschool Sanity classes I offer can help.

Self-care is the third key to back-to-homeschool sanity.

Besides the grace of God and a helpful husband with a flexible schedule, my self-care has been the biggest factor in my being able to homeschool six children and be happy doing it. I knew early on that I don’t have the personality to be a martyr. I need breaks to do things that renew me.

Your definition of self-care and mine may differ. Self-care for you may be declining a party invitation so you can stay home with the kids, while for me it’s spending time with friends out of the house. Whatever recharges you and makes you happy will allow you to be a better wife and mother.

We need physical self-care. If you’re always tired, get more sleep. Don’t fall for the notion that staying up late will fill your tank. It feels good at the time, but the next day’s fatigue will erase any benefits you experience. We can also care for ourselves physically with exercise. Regular exercise is not selfish but will make you a more passionate wife and a more fun mom. The added bonus is you’re less likely to get sick.

We need emotional self-care. We all need social support, but some of us need more than others. I get depressed when I don’t have time to talk with friends. Be sure to plan social time into your homeschool schedule. In addition to social support, we need hobby time. I enjoy scrapbooking with a friend. The added bonus is my family loves the scrapbooks.

The blog post and podcast How to Be Happy and Homeschool Too will give you inspiration for pursuing both physical and emotional self-care.

Final thoughts

Planning your homeschool curriculum, space, and activities for this year is of some benefit. But don’t neglect to focus on your faith, relationships, and self-care. The dividends they pay in having a happy back-to-homeschool are worth the investment.

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30 Days of the Best Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms Series Contributor:

Dr. Melanie Wilson is a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. She is the author of the Psychowith6 blog, The Organized Homeschool Life, and Grammar Galaxy language arts curriculum. She also hosts The Homeschool Sanity Show podcast.

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