Summer can be such a needed break for families. But it can also be a time that brings extra stress, irritation and … well, Mom anger. If the extra time lately spent with your family being all together is causing sibling squabbles and Mom irritation, Please know you are not alone!
3 Questions To Ask When You Are Irritated
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Lately, I’ve found myself expressing my irritation. “Ugh, this irritates me!” or “She/he is so annoying!” I realized that I was irritated about someone or something way too often! Irritations are something we all face daily and learning how to handle them properly is an important part of our lives and relationships.
I have found that being irritated mostly come from one of three sources:
1. My Circumstances – It could be a small house, the car that broke down, only one bathroom in the house, or the rain pouring down when it’s time to bring in the groceries. Our circumstances can easily stir up irritation in our hearts and minds.
2. Irritated by Myself – Often times it’s my own weaknesses that irritate me. From my hair, my physical problems or limitations to something that I was wrong about. They all can irritate me if I let them. It’s so easy to get frustrated with yourself!
3. Other People – This may go without saying, but oftentimes a wrong perspective on people causes more irritation than the people themselves. Many times I don’t see God’s hand in the people He brings into my life. And if I am not looking through God’s eyes, then I miss the fact that who I cross paths with really is very significant.
Why am I angry or irritated?
Some irritations can be removed, or fixed. It’s the ones that aren’t in our power to remove – that person or thing – that are hard.
In thinking about those irritations in my life, God spoke to me and reminded me of something. The situations I can’t change are full of potential – depending on my response. (and that is the difficult part!)
Unfortunately, my normal responses for those people, things, or situations that annoy me are not the best response.
My response to being irritated is usually one of 3 things:
1. Blame the other person.
2. Get angry, upset, and frustrated.
I realized those responses to my irritation brought negative consequences instead. They could easily:
1. Ruin my day or week.
2. Give me a headache.
3. Ruin relationships – with family or friends.
4. Develop bitterness.
5. Destroy my joy.
A better response is choosing to let irritations be the basis for God working in my life.
He will use them to help me grow, make me aware of others’ needs, and develop some inward qualities that I am lacking. In other words, deliberately choosing His way means that I profit from those irritations.
When I deal with irritations the right way they can be greatly used to teach me, and draw me closer to God.
Maybe you’re thinking right now about that person or situation that irritates you to death! You could be wondering how in the world you can choose to respond right.
The first thing I try to do is thank God for the irritation.
Then I remind myself that God brings people into my life for a purpose, and wants me to be able to get along with those people. As Christians, we should be known for our love.
I can learn from those people He brings into my life. They can also learn from me by my reaction. I have the opportunity to be an encouragement and example to them, and to love them.
Remember to ask yourself these 3 questions when you are irritated:
1. Did I cause this irritation? Is it due to some fault of mine?
2. What negative traits does this reveal in my life?
Being a mom brought to light some of the negative character traits that I needed to work on. Homeschooling also tends to bring out our areas of weakness, like impatience.
3. What qualities does God want to develop in me?
God brings testing to shape and mold us. Perhaps that difficult child you have will help you develop patience and self-control.
In my life, I would say that at least 95% of the irritating things that I face daily, take place right in my home.
I have to constantly think about the fact that I have children watching my responses. It’s vital that I ask God to help me respond in the way that He would want me to. I can allow myself to get upset and complain about the situation, or I can CHOOSE to respond the right way, and let God work in my life!