The Character Corner

Purposeful Parenting. Building Godly Character.

10 Crucial Tips for First Time Obedience

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Are you looking for tips for teaching first-time obedience to your children, or restoring obedience after realizing that you haven’t been requiring it as you should?

I shared this quote on my Facebook page recently, regarding the importance of obedience:

The best curriculum won’t work with a child who has not been trained in the habit of obedience. Your child must learn to obey or you can never serve as his teacher!

Several of my readers then messaged me asking me if I could give some specific ideas to help them, as they were having trouble getting their children to obey.

Those requests inspired me to write this post for those times when you are struggling as a parent to teach your child to obey or get them back in the habit when you have let obedience slide.

Learn 10 Crucial Tips for First Time Obedience!

Young boy with freckles is obeying happily after mom teaches 10 tips for first time obedience

When our kids were very young, my husband and I worked hard to teach them the importance of obeying the first time they were told to do something. It took a lot of training, practice, and reminding, but we felt that first-time obedience was vital for two reasons:

  1. We wanted them to learn to obey the first time, so when God spoke to them they would obey Him without question.
  2. Safety reasons.

If they were about to run in front of a car, we couldn’t risk them waiting till the 3rd time we said “Stop!” Or if they were about to touch a hot stove, they needed to know that when we said “don’t touch!” they should immediately stop.

In reality, if our kids can obey us the 3rd or 4th time we tell them something, they have the ability to obey the FIRST time, so why not require it?

Related:  Is Your Parenting Leading Your Kids To Rebellion?

Picture the parents who use the “1, 2, 3” method. Their child has been trained that they don’t have to move or obey right away, but can wait till right before  Mom or Dad says “3”. Repeating your commands or threatening them like this, trains them to disobey. 

Children who wait till we have raised our voice, threatened, or told them something several times, do so because they’ve been “programmed” or trained that way by the parents. We shouldn’t get angry with them, since we have unknowingly trained them to wait to obey. (Are You An Angry Parent?)

So what should you do if your children are in the habit of not obeying the first time you speak to them? 

Don’t get angry, but realize that either they are still young and in training, OR that you have unintentionally trained them to disobey.

building a strong foundation

At that point, it’s up to YOU to have the self-discipline to break the habit of repeating instructions. In either instance, patience will be required, as training is still in progress.

10 Tips For First Time Obedience

Learn the parenting mistakes to avoid and what to do instead to prevent rebellion or pushing your kids away.

1. Sit down and talk to them about the problem.

Take the blame, and let them know that God says that children should obey their parents. They need to understand that when they wait to do what they are told, it’s not obedience. (Obedience is doing what you’re told, right away, with a good attitude.)

2. Explain and give examples of right and wrong responses when they are told to do something.

Then PRACTICE right responses. This is especially important for younger kids. We would turn it into a game, and clap and praise when they responded right during our practice sessions.

3. Pray with them asking God to help them to obey right away, and to help you, the parent, be consistent, as well.

4.  Let them know that for the next few days you will remind them when their response is wrong (disobedient). Then ask them to try again.

Bad habits take time to change, so we can’t just expect them to instantly start responding right if we have allowed them to wait till the 3rd or 4th time.

5. Consider a character chart, where you give stickers each time you catch them responding right.

Positive reinforcement is always my first choice for encouraging changes in behavior. Have a reward when a certain number of stickers have been earned. (Get our FREE character charts!)

6. After a few days of reminding, and practicing the correct behavior, let them know that you now EXPECT them to continue this way without reminders. 

Set them up for success by giving some easy or fun commands early in the day, then praising the obedience. This will make the other kids eager to try, and also serve as a reminder of what is now expected.

7. Determine an appropriate consequence for disobedience, and let the kids know in advance what it is.

Then when they “forget” and don’t obey the first time, you can calmly call them aside and talk to them about it, and remind them of the consequence they will receive because of their disobedience.

8. Be consistent, and don’t fall back into the old habit of telling them often, or threatening and raising your voice.

When you aren’t consistent, they learn to take chances. It’s not fair to make them wonder each day if you are going to be strict, or if one or two of them might get away with pushing the limits. Consistency will lead to frustration free discipline.

9. Be sure and show grace when needed. 

If a child is doing very well, but is having a bad day and messes up, determine whether it’s out of rebellion, or more of an immaturity issue that needs to be worked on.

10. If you are going through an extra busy time, or for some reason DO find that you have fallen back into the habit of giving orders more than once, or yelling to get the kids to listen, call another family meeting.

Admit that you haven’t been training them to obey as you should, apologize for your inconsistency, and once again have a few days of training and practice.

It’s easy to gradually let things slip, and we all are prone to it. Don’t get discouraged, and don’t get angry with the kids. Realize the need to address the issue, and ask God to help you to be consistent!

Do you want to reinforce first time obedience in a positive way?

I have the perfect (FREE!) tool for you – an Obedience Chart to use with your kids!

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My Obedience Chart

10 Tips for first time obedience

10 Tips for First Time Obedience to help you as you train your children about the importance of doing what they're told right away with a happy spirit.

3 Mistakes That Turn Your Child’s Heart From You

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Learn the parenting mistakes to avoid and what to do instead to prevent rebellion or pushing your kids away.

We’ve been talking about positive ways to win our children’s hearts. Today I’m going to talk about the negative side of it, and share 3 mistakes that can turn your child’s heart from you!

3 Mistakes That Turn Your Child’s Heart From You

mistakes that turn your child from you

1. We strive to LOOK right but fail to emphasize the heart issues that are important.

If you look at the way you discipline, often you may discover that you spend much of your time on changing their behavior, rather than changing their hearts.

The problem with this is that their heart isn’t touched, and God is concerned with the heart. 

From the book Parenting is Heart Work:

The greatest parenting tip we can share wtih you is this:   maintain a strong connection to your heavenly father. He offers spiritual guidance and direction to help you work through your own heart issues so you can become effective with your children. Ask God to show you the real issues your son or daughter is facing, then PRAY.”

2. We strive to keep our kids from the wrong while failing to befriend them ourselves.

In order to develop a relationship with our children, we MUST spend time with them!

It’s not enough to protect them from the wrong influences, people, or activities. We have to fill that void, by spending time with them. We need to make that a priority!

Unfortunately, it’s not something we can always do on our own time table either. I think it’s important to allow time in your schedule daily just to spend time with your kids, but I have found that often they need my attention or a listening ear at times when I’m busy with something else. Nothing is more important though than being there when they want to talk.

Related Posts: Why You Need To Win Your Child’s Heart,  Four Simple Ways To Win Your Child’s Heart

They open up on their schedule, not just when you are ready to listen and say “Hey, what’s on your heart that you want to talk about? I’ve got 15 minutes.”

If you are available to listen, or just be there for them when they’re going through a difficult time, as they share their emotions with you it will create a bond.  They then are more willing to hear you out, because they know you care.

The key is availability! ( It is also very helpful to just include them in your cooking, cleaning, errands, etc.)

3. We strive for compliance and forget the relationship that will bring compliance. 

In our efforts to raise “good children” and require obedience, it’s easy to become harsh as we strive to be firm.  That harshness and/or anger is something that will quickly destroy the relationship you have with your children.

Harshness and anger damage relationships! 

overcoming anger God's way

It’s much, much better to appeal to our children on the basis of love, rather than using fear of our anger to get them to do what they should.

In the booklet Solving the Crisis in Christian Parenting, it talks about this very thing, and says it SO well:

What we didn’t realize was that there is a great difference between intimidating children into subjection and winning their hearts into submission. Intimidating children into subjection merely gains outward compliance. Having their hearts means gaining greater opportunity to influence their values.”

It’s so important to also remember that anger doesn’t address the issue of the heart, and confuses the learning process. The child is focusing more on avoiding your anger, than changing their heart. 

Learn 3 Mistakes That Turn Your Child's Heart From You - and How To Avoid Them!Click To Tweet

Dr. S.M. Davis counsels many Christian parents who are struggling with their children and has made the observation that when there is rebellion in a young person, there is almost always anger in one or both of the parents. The anger causes the parent to lose the child’s heart, and over time they rebel.

Are you raising a rebel? If you are ready to actively examine your parenting for these mistakes that can lead to rebellion, then this study is for you.

study guide Are you raising a rebel?

As parents, we know we are going to make mistakes. But with God’s help, we can ask Him to make us aware of any mistakes we may be making with your kids. He will give us the strength to repair damaged relationships and He will purposefully work to win the hearts of your children!

Join me for a free 5 day series:

5 Parenting Mistakes that Lead To Rebellion

We will look at five ways you can inadvertently instill a rebellious spirit in your child’s heart, and Biblical answers will be given as to how to deal with early rebellion. A daily email will be sent for 5 consecutive days.

Sign me up for the mistakes that lead kids to rebellion series!


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mistakes that turn your child's heart from you

The 3 Best Character Charts To Encourage Growth

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One of our favorite ways to encourage character growth in our children was to use character charts to measure their progress.

This kept us watching for the efforts they were making, and it also reminded them to keep trying to show Godly character throughout the day. 

Here are the 3 Best Character Charts To Encourage Growth

3 Best Character Charts The Character Corner

 

With that in mind, we designed the Excellence in Character Chart, and a Growth in Character Chart. We used these charts to have character contests and character celebrations.

With most of the kids, when they got to be about 12,  they didn’t get as excited about it all as when they were young.   At that point, a younger sibling was usually old enough to understand and be added in.

Obviously, you don’t have to use the charts like we do. It will depend on how many kids you have, their ages, and how you want to use them with your family. I am just presenting this so you know how we have used them in our home.

We choose a time frame (1 – 2 weeks), and let the kids know when the character contest begins, and when it will end.

During that time we would watch for the kids to show good character, and give them a mark on the chart for the trait they displayed. (8 Ways To Recognize Good Character In Your Children)

For example, if one of them picked up toys without being told, we would give them a plus (tally mark) under their name for initiative on the Excellence in Character Chart.

When the contest time ended, we had a character celebration.

Here’s how we encouraged character, just to give you an idea:

1. We chose a character trait out of the bowl, and the child with the most marks for that trait was the winner. 

We gave the winner one of our character ribbons and a prize from the prize bag. (toys from the Dollar Store, packs of gum, candy bars)  We all clapped and got excited for the winner.

2. After the winner announcement was done, we looked at the Excellence chart to see who could fill in any squares on their growth chart. 

For every five marks they got for any trait, they got to fit in a square on their Growth in Character Chart for that trait.  This enabled us to recognize them for the progress they had made during the week, even though they may not have been the winner.

3. After this time of recognizing the progress that the kids had made, we had a special treat like ice cream or cookies.

Even though the kids started to lose their excitement about winning as they got a bit older, we still wanted them to keep a focus on character, and be involved. Sometimes I would pair the older ones up with the younger ones, and they’d encourage their teammate during the contest.

Another thing I did was have the teens help me watch for good character in the younger ones.

I started this when I noticed one of the teens was VERY good at seeing the bad in his siblings. Often he could be heard saying things like, “Awww – you’re not obeying!”, or “You’re having a bad attitude!”. 

I wanted to turn the negativity into positive comments instead. 

So I told the teen that I needed his help with watching for good character in the kids and asked him to give them a tally mark on the chart whenever he saw them showing good character.

This turned things around for him and the siblings!

He started to notice the good, and they were much more encouraged to hear him say, “Wow! You just showed initiative (or some other trait)! I’m going to give you a plus on the character chart.” 

To me, it was very exciting. I love hearing my older kids encouraging their younger siblings to do what is right!

Character Charts

Benefits of growing character by using character charts:

1. It kept my husband and I focused on positive behavior.

It is so easy to see the wrong things our kids do and get after them for those things constantly.  Yet, we forget to look for the right behavior and good character and praise them for it.

Using these charts caused me to be on the lookout for any signs of effort to practice good character.

As a result, I was much aware when they did the right things, and I encouraged them more often about the right behavior.

2. It kept us focused on what was important.

Sometimes we forget that Godly character is more important than physical accomplishments (like in sports), musical abilities, or getting good grades.

As a result, we convey the wrong priorities to our kids and fail to teach them what really matters.

My husband and I felt very strongly that building Godly character in our kids intentionally should be one of our top priorities and goals.

We wanted the kids to know that Godly character pleased the Lord, and was important.

Using the charts helped us to remember to look for good character in our kids, and to praise them when they showed it, letting them know we were pleased with their behavior and so was God.

3. It kept the idea of Godly character before the kids all through the day.

All it took was us “catching” one child showing good character, and giving them a mark on their chart. Other kids would then start thinking about how they could show good character too.

Choosing to do things that show good character becomes a habit over time, and then develops into character.

Two additional thoughts about encouraging character with charts: 

Perhaps some of you are wondering, “Well, aren’t the kids doing it for the wrong reason?  They’re choosing to go and do something “right” so they can get a mark on their chart, and get recognition from Mom or Dad.”

1. They MAY be doing it for the wrong reason.

However, they are purposefully choosing to do something that is right. In reality that’s what character is. Doing what’s right whether we feel like it or not, because it’s right.

2. God uses rewards to motivate us to do right.

In the Bible, we are promised that we can get stars in our crowns. So why not encourage our kids to do what pleases the Lord by using small rewards, such as verbal praise, marks on a chart, or little prizes in a character celebration.

GET A FREE DOWNLOAD of the Excellence and Growth in Character Charts, AND a copy of the 48 Godly Character Traits Chart

 

 

3 Things That Make You Lose Your Joy As A Mother

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If you have been a mom for any time at all, you know that there are times where you lose your joy in motherhood. Yes, you can enjoy being a mom, you can know that it is one of God’s biggest blessings in life and yet still lack the joy you thought would always be there when you became a mom. 

Perhaps you’ve found yourself asking “how do I find joy in motherhood?”. Well, I have to ask you, “Are you aware of the things that make you lose your joy as a mother?”

3 Things That Make You Lose Your Joy As A Mother

mother who has lost her joy

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” Psalm 113:8

When I read this verse in my Bible today, it made me cringe. When I thought about the word my kids would use to describe me, a JOYFUL mother wasn’t the first thing that came to mind!

Being honest, many times they would more likely use the word stressed, grouchy, or irritable to describe me.

I’m not like that all the time. However,  those words would probably rate a little higher on the percentage chart than the word JOYFUL.

Often I am not a joyful mother.

As I was thinking about this,  I had to ask why I wasn’t a joyful mother at times and identify the things that caused me to lose my joy.

3 Crushing ‘joy stealers’ of motherhood

Here are 3 Crushing 'Joy Stealers' in Motherhood and What to do When They Show Up in Your Life!Click To Tweet

1. People Can Be ‘Joy Stealers’

Usually, the people that I let steal my joy are the people that live with me!

As moms, we are with our kids all day every day. Sometimes if we aren’t careful, we can let them steal our joy.

It could be something they say, the way they are acting, as well as what they do or don’t do. Or maybe you blame your difficult child on your loss of joy.

The truth is that they do not make me lose my joy as a mother. My reactions are to blame.

I really shouldn’t be surprised when my children disobey, have a bad attitude, or don’t want to help. They are born as sinners, and it is my job to train them in Godly character and help them in those areas.

My reactions to their wrong behavior show what is in my heart. At times its selfishness, and it makes me resent the extra time they take or the fact that they don’t want to help.

I have to choose to respond to them with love and ask God to help me keep a right spirit, and not lose my joy.

Overcoming anger God's Way
2. Circumstances Can Cause Us to Lose Our Joy as a Mother

It’s so easy to get irritable when things aren’t going well. The dryer quit working; it’s a rainy, gloomy day and we have errands to run; the baby was up part of the night and we are exhausted; etc.

If we let circumstances determine our happiness or joy, we are going to be miserable much of the time!

It’s very easy as homeschooling moms to be very joyful on the days that the kids are all behaving, the school schedule is just moving right along, and things are running smoothly. Being realistic though, not all days are going to be like that.

We have to maintain the right spirit despite the circumstances and how things may be going.

3. Worry Makes You Lose Your Joy As A Mother

As moms, there are so many things we can worry about. We worry about our kids’ safety, their health, their behavior and attitudes, their academic progress, etc.

When there is a problem going on with one of them, it is easy to let it consume our minds, and steal our joy. It’s also easy to worry about finances, and how to get everything done that we need to, etc.

I will take these worries to the Lord but often find myself carrying them again a little later.

Other times I will take the worries to God, but “worry” about how I can “help” him. Worry will keep me up at night, and then I am a tired mom in the morning, which leads to even less joy.

This is an area where God has really been working on me. I need to just “let go and let God.”

When I am feeling overwhelmed with worries or burdens, I repeat the verse over in my mind: “Be still and know that I am God.”

It’s such a relief to know we can leave our cares, worries, burdens, and needs in God’s hands.

What are the things that keep you from being a joyful mother?

Ask God to help you to identify those things, and help you to be filled with His joy.

If you need more help in this area read these posts now!

How Does My Lack of Joy Affect My Children?

5 Secrets To Being A More Joyful Mother

If you struggle with hormone issues (which can lead to a loss of joy!) join me for this free series:

things that make you lose your joy as a mother

 

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3 Homeschool High School Activities That Can Build Character

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For teens, participating in a variety of homeschool high school activities will develop so much more than the particular activity’s focus. Character is often forged in community and each one of the following activities includes working with and alongside others.

3 Homeschool High School Activities That Can Build Character

Active High School Girl

Does simply participating in any activity automatically mean that your teen’s character will grow? Of course not. 

We need to be intentional about helping our teens decide what they should join, and what will be less than beneficial for them. For example, involvement in sports can be an incredible opportunity to cultivate character, but it’s important to know who is leading the team! Which brings us to our first activity.

Homeschool High School Activity That Can Build Character #1: Sports

While not all states allow students to participate in public school sports, many communities offer other opportunities for homeschool teens. 

When looking for a team for your teens to join, you’ll want to find one that you believe will have a positive impact on your student. Coaches can be very influential in athletes’ lives. Ask: Does the coach have high expectations, yet remembers it’s only a game? Does he encourage and teach, or demean players? 

The coach and the players don’t have to be perfect, but if you want your teens to build character, it’s important to note who will be influencing them. 

Homeschool Activity #2: Clubs, Youth Programs, & Groups

There are so many different types of clubs for teens to get involved in! 

4-H. Homeschoolers in an area often form their own 4-H clubs. Through 4-H teens can participate in a variety of groups and competitions—it’s definitely not just for those raising animals anymore. They can even earn scholarship money. Whether they are interested in drama, musical performance, robotics…there’s really something for everyone.

Scouting or Trail Life. The quality of the group in your area makes a big difference with any program. But through them, students can learn about leadership, as well as a variety of practical skills. These types of programs give students a goal to work towards, opportunities for adventures, and help them to serve the community. 

Homeschool groups. Often other homeschoolers in your area will offer a class or club of some kind to fill a need for their own children. If there isn’t something available in your area, don’t hesitate to start your own!

Ideas for Homeschool Groups/Clubs:

  • Book clubs. Discuss a variety of types of books including different genres and time periods.
  • Creative writing. Students can share their writings with one another, do peer reviews, and encourage one another.
  • Community outreach. Teens impact their communities when they serve together at local homeless shelters, participate as reading mentors in schools, or help clean up their city. 
  • Career exploration. Students can visit a variety of businesses together, interview workers, and learn about the different opportunities that might fit with their unique personalities.
  • Leadership academy. Have local leaders come to your group to share what it means to be a leader, how they’ve served their communities, and more. 

Homeschool Activity to Build Character #3: Co-op Classes

When high school students take co-op classes or dual-enrollment courses at a local college, they have the opportunity to hear from other authority figures besides you while learning to function in a classroom of other students that may be very different from them.

You have to know your kids and whether they are ready to take on that type of responsibility, but for mature teens it can be a great chance to transition into college courses and learn to deal with those who have different worldviews than they do. 

Character Traits Cultivated in High School Activities

These characteristics aren’t a given simply because your teens participate in an activity. Intentionality in developing these skills is important.

  • Perseverance. Whether it’s learning a new skill or completing a difficult assignment, our teens have to develop “stick-to-it-ness”.
  • Being a “team” player. Obviously sports provide our kids the chance to be on a team, but that’s not the only thing. 4-H competitions, such as robotics or one act plays, are often done with a team. So is working together to serve the community through a project. 
  • Leadership. How do kids learn to lead if they don’t have to work with others at times? Leadership isn’t just about being in front or the person in charge. Our attitude and actions are influencing those around us.
  • Commitment. Even when something isn’t what our teens expect or like, staying committed to it for an agreed-upon time is important (unless they are being harmed in some way). Consider making a rule that your children have to at least finish the semester if they start something new. 
  • Ability to compromise and resolve conflicts. Anytime we work with others, we are faced with differences. Our teens need to be able 

Choosing the Right Homeschool High School Activities for Your Teens

Ask yourself (and your teens) some of the following questions as you try to decide what your teens will participate in:

  • How much time do we have to commit to outside of activities?
  • What are my teens most interested in?
  • What skills or natural talents do my teens have that need to be developed?
  • What’s offered in our community?
  • Am I willing to start something we don’t have available?
  • Will the other people who go to this activity help grow my teens or be a hindrance to them? 

As you evaluate, know that nothing is perfect. And being around imperfect people and having to deal with hard things is one of the ways character is formed in our teens. 

Whatever activities your teens are involved in can help them build character while learning with others. 

And if you need some help in learning how to put these ideas together for High School credit stop by our shop and grab your copy of …

THE HIGH SCHOOL COURSE OF STUDY & PLANNING WORKBOOK!

The High School Course of Study & Planning Workbook will simplify the process for you and your high schoolers.

In it, you will:

  • Learn the four steps you need in order to make an overall plan for your high school teens.
  • Discover three different ways to award credits.
  • Figure out how to make a plan for each year’s course of study and a simple way to make sure you are covering what your teen needs.
  • Create a schedule that works for you and your teens.

At The Character Corner, we want to take the fear and the overwhelm out of homeschooling high school so you can spend your time and energy on the thing that matters the most: your relationship with your teens. Grab yours today to get started!

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5 Homeschool High School Ideas You Will Want to Start Using Today

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Have you ever thought that maybe the light bulb that’s supposed to go on over your head when you have an idea must be burnt out? You aren’t alone! For some reason, when our kids get to high school we often feel like we’ve run out of ideas to keep learning interesting, practical, and fun. That’s why we’re sharing these five homeschool high school ideas with you! And maybe by reading the list, your own lightbulb with light up with a few more 😉

5 Homeschool High School Ideas You Will Want to Start Using Today

homeschool high school girl with ideas

Homeschool High School Idea #1

Learn outside-the-textbook-box. Don’t think that just because your teen will be earning credits, the way you educate them has to look traditional.

Often parents are perfectly fine with this idea when kids are in elementary and even middle school, but somehow it feels like high school is “for real now” and we need to go back to what we grew up within public or private school.

Maybe we’re driven by the fear that our teens will have gaps in their learning and won’t be able to go to college if that’s their goal. Or maybe we’ve simply never thought about the fact that there are other options.

Consider these ideas for teaching subjects without a textbook…

1. Read Real Books for History 

History should never be a boring subject! We have incredible resources available to us in a variety of formats, as well as primary source materials at our fingertips. 

Don’t worry so much about trying to cover it all. Instead, aim for depth over breadth of information. Students can read an overview of a time period, but then dig deep into key events and people or things that capture their interest. Biographies such as David McCullough’s 1776 will give your students a much greater understanding of the American Revolution than a few pages in a textbook!

2. Study Science Like a Scientist

Like in history studies, students can read real books. They can also research topics online and at the library, watch videos, and do a variety of experiments. But to really kick it up a notch, they can come up with ideas for their own questions and design experiments and studies to test their hypotheses. 

Studying the weather? Learn about it online from the National Weather Service. Have your teens make a weather station and write down observations. Challenge them to make a video of their own forecasts. Then record how accurate their predictions were.

Learning about astronomy? Watch videos, read interesting books, invest in a telescope, and visit a planetarium. The sky is literally the limit!

3. Integrate Geography Into Other Studies

Geography is the perfect companion subject to history, science, current events, and cultural studies. By creating a geography notebook, students can collect information about geography no matter what they are studying. Buy some dividers and label them by continent. GeoMatters has some incredible resources! 

Homeschool High School Idea #2

Make it real. This one can be done along with the first idea. Whenever you can, opt for the REAL THING instead of simply reading about something or looking at a picture or video of it.

For example, instead of reading a book about art, go to an art museum and take your time just looking. Don’t just learn about musical instruments and listen to some classical music online. Go see and hear and experience an orchestra performance.

Instead of reading a textbook about animals, go to the zoo. Take time to observe them, draw a picture in a nature journal, write down some facts from the plaques on the exhibits, talk to the zookeepers. Before you go or after your visit, do some research about the animals.

Come up with ideas for field trips, go on vacations to historic places.

Take advantage of homeschooling to the fullest extent you can. 

Homeschool High School Idea #3

Have your teens go to work. No, I’m not necessarily talking about getting a part-time job (though that would be great too). I

I’m talking about intentionally learning about different ideas for career options by going to see and talk to people doing the actual work.

So many teens make a decision about what they will major in during college, or what training they want to get after high school, without really even understanding the different options out there.

Or, they may know the options, but have no idea how interested they are in them. Imagine if they were able to make some informed decisions.

Homeschool High School Idea #4

Teach real-life skills. This may seem obvious, but so many students today graduate with a lot of head knowledge and very few practical skills for living.

As a homeschool family, your children can learn about the following subjects as they walk through life with you. And if there’s an area you struggle with, don’t worry—you can learn alongside your teen.

Some ideas for topics might include:

  • Personal finance
  • Nutrition and cooking (Hello FoodNetwork!)
  • Health and fitness
  • Home repair
  • Car maintenance
  • Productivity

Homeschool High School Idea #5

Put the social back in socialization. You may be saying, “But our community doesn’t offer anything for homeschool teens.”

Guess what?

When you get a few moms together to help, putting on teen socials can be a lot of fun for your teens and for you! 

Here are some of our favorite ideas for teen socials:

  • Game nights. Bunko, bingo, and board games are all great choices.
  • Progressive dinners
  • Park days with volleyball, basketball, baseball, flag-football, or frisbee golf
  • Holiday parties
  • Scavenger hunts
  • Miniature golf
  • Skating
  • Trampoline parks
  • Hiking trips

Last Thoughts on Homeschool High School Ideas

When your kids get to high school, don’t think education has to look completely different from their elementary and middle school years.

One of the best benefits to homeschooling is being able to educate our children differently. 

Share some of these homeschool high school ideas with your teens and ask them what they are interested in the most. You’ll be glad you did!

And if you need some help in learning how to put these ideas together for High School credit stop by our shop and grab your copy of …

THE HIGH SCHOOL COURSE OF STUDY & PLANNING WORKBOOK!

The High School Course of Study & Planning Workbook will simplify the process for you and your high schoolers.

In it, you will:

  • Learn the four steps you need in order to make an overall plan for your high school teens.
  • Discover three different ways to award credits.
  • Figure out how to make a plan for each year’s course of study and a simple way to make sure you are covering what your teen needs.
  • Create a schedule that works for you and your teens.

At The Character Corner, we want to take the fear and the overwhelm out of homeschooling high school so you can spend your time and energy on the thing that matters the most: your relationship with your teens. Grab yours today to get started!

High School books and graduation

Why You Need a High School Course of Study for Your Homeschool Teens

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Homeschooling high school may feel a bit overwhelming when you start thinking about it. Let me assure you: You CAN do it.

Homeschooled students are not only getting into universities, they are earning scholarships and excelling in their classes. Others are entering the workforce or choosing to stay home and raise their own families. In other words, these young adults are successful. And they were homeschooled by moms and dads just like you.

I believe with a little planning, you and your teens can start this journey with confidence. Let’s face it, knowing where we are going makes it easier to get there!

Why You Need a High School Course of Study for Your Homeschool Teens

A Map for the Journey

As a child, do you remember your parents getting out a map before you all took off on a vacation? There was a time when this was a necessity, or at least really helpful! 

With a map you can know the best way to get to your destination. You can plan out where you will stop, the roads you will travel, and the places you’ll visit along the way. 

Much like planning a trip with a map, making a plan for your teens’ high school years will help you get the most out of the journey. A clear path will make it easier. 

Of course each year you will be adjusting the plan. So don’t worry if you don’t have all the details worked out right now. Your map is a guide for the journey. There are times you may take another road than the one you originally planned, but the destination is still the same. 

A map will keep you and your students going in the right direction.

Your Homeschool High School Map: A Course of Study

What is a Course of Study?

Course of study: an integrated course of academic studies 

Let’s look at the word integrated a little closer. Vocabulary.coms defines it as formed or united into a whole and says this about it,

Things or people that are integrated have been brought together, so that they live or work together. They’re no longer apart or segregated.

A high school course of study will bring together your high schoolers’ courses and studies so that they work together. How will they work together? With a plan:

  • The courses can be more unified by studying connected topics at the same time. For example, why not study world literature while also studying world history?
  • The courses your students take will help them achieve the goal of graduating. You don’t have to get to their senior year and panic because you missed some of the essentials.

Planning a High School Course of Study Doesn’t Need to Be Difficult

I can’t stress enough how valuable it is to sit down and do some planning as you begin your homeschooler’s high school years. Each year you’ll adjust the plan, but it will keep you on course. And when your teen’s senior year arrives, you can feel confident that you all have everything you need.

The High School Course of Study & Planning Workbook will simplify the process for you and your high schoolers. In it, you will:

  • Learn the four steps you need in order to make an overall plan for your high school teens.
  • Discover three different ways to award credits.
  • Figure out how to make a plan for each year’s course of study and a simple way to make sure you are covering what your teen needs.
  • Create a schedule that works for you and your teens.

At The Character Corner, we want to take the fear and the overwhelm out of homeschooling high school so you can spend your time and energy on the thing that matters the most: your relationship with your teens. 

Head over to the shop now and grab your copy of the High School Course of Study Workbook and get started today!

high school books

 

How to Build a Strong Relationship with Teens

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When my oldest son was in eighth grade, I began to worry about homeschooling high school. Could we do it? How could we be successful? What did success even look like?

One of my friends (and now 7Sister Marilyn) gave me some of the wisest advice I ever received.

“Pray about it, then write out your goals: What kind of person would you like your teens to be when they graduate?”

I took Marilyn’s advice and after much prayer, these were the general goals that I wrote for my homeschool high schoolers. All five of them have graduated now and I’ve had the blessing of watching those goals come to life in them.

How to Build a Strong Relationship with Teens

mom and teen with strong relationship

The most important goals (to me, anyway) I had for my homeschool high schoolers were:

  • To have a build a strong relationship with my teens, while they were still teens.
  • To have the kind of relationship that would make it possible for my kids to want to bring the grandkids for a visit when they grew up, got married, and had kids of their own.

The academic goals and other personal goals varied from teen to teen but I considered creating a meaningful relationship with each a top priority.

After prayer, I found that these would be the ways I worked on building a strong relationship with my teens:

Relationship over rules

My friend, Melanie Wilson of Homeschool Sanity Podcast, always says, “Relationship over rules.”

When I was a young mom I studied my older mom-friends (those with teens). I observed that those who were strictest had very obedient teens. Unfortunately, some of those teens quietly resented their parents and were glad to home leave as soon as possible. Some became sneakily rebellious (whether their parents ever found out about it or not). Some developed anxiety disorders. Some were okay, also, because that kind of parenting fit their personality.

I decided that the short-term gains of a strictly-controlled home while my kids were teens, were not worth the risk of hurting their hearts by valuing the “safety” of rules over our relationships. I love my kids more than I love a home that has an outward appearance of obedience.

Meaningful Relationship Building

Rules can take the place of communication and growth. It is so much easier to not wrestle through a teen request or irritation. If we simply set a rule, no further thinking or discussion is required on our part. However, if we can keep the communication flowing we have a better chance at building a meaningful relationship with our teens.

Once when I was a young mom, I saw a poster for sale in a homeschool curriculum catalog. It was, “The 100 Rules of our Household”. Needless to say, I didn’t invest in that one. Instead, I invested in:

Building Strong Relationships By Listening

Most teens need to talk. Only they rarely want to talk on our schedules. Have you noticed that? They want to talk when they are irritated at their literature study guide or chapter in their science text. They want to talk after bedtime or when you’re knee-deep in a project.

When I was busy, I found that I had to remind myself of the relationship goals and make myself available when my adolescents wanted to chat (or debate their irritating study guide or textbook). That meant stopping, turning myself toward them, and making eye contact (with a pleasant, non-irritated smile). Then I would simply listen.

Most of the time, not preaching or solving the problem for them

I said, “That’s really hard,” to my teens so many times that it turned into a joke for them. It was my way of letting them know that I heard them and sympathized. I eventually had to come up with other ways to let them know I cared, such as:

“Hmmm…” or

“What’s that like for you?”

“That sounds stressful…”

Or I’d practice some active listening like: “What I hear you saying is…”

Usually what happened at times like these is that my teen needed to blow off a little steam then could process through finding a healthy way to handle whatever was up. I could guide the discussion along with occasional questions but trust God to help them come up with a conclusion that would get them to a better place.

Admittedly, there were times that I felt like their decisions were not best practices so I would ask things like:

“How’s that working for you?” (but spoken with grace, not judgment)

Then there are the strong, silent types. One of my sons is a quiet, deep thinker. He doesn’t say much but when he does, he’s put a lot of thought into it. I found with him, if we are doing something together, he will talk. For us, that usually meant taking car drives together. We did lots of drives when he was in high school!

Having shared experiences

I work as a mental health counselor. In one of the continuing education courses I attended, the instructor said that when you do new things with your loved ones, your bodies release oxytocin (which is a bonding hormone). Even if it is a boring or irritating experience, once you get home the oxytocin is there.

Another cool thing about doing new things together is that it gives you something to talk about. So we tried at least quarterly to do something new. We counted:

  • Co-op field trips
  • Doing a new volunteer activity together
  • Hiking at a new state park
  • Attending free dress rehearsals at the local opera house
  • Making a new “historical” craft

Homeschooling high school gave us so many opportunities for new things!

My homeschool grads are all college grads now. We still have a good relationship (and I get to visit the grandbabies!) God bless you on your journey as you build meaningful relationships with your teens.

Hey, if you’d like some good discussion material, download 7SistersHomeschool.com’s FREE Apologetics curriculum. It’s interesting and thought-provoking. 

***

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30 DAYS OF THE BEST ENCOURAGEMENT FOR HOMESCHOOLING MOMS SERIES CONTRIBUTOR:

Vicki Tillman’s mission is to advance God’s kingdom by investing in people. She has lived this call as homeschool mom, advisor to the upperclassmen in her local homeschool community for 18 years and as a homeschool coach.

As a speaker, curriculum developer, counselor and life/career coach, Vicki shares her expertise in homeschooling, prayer, healthy life and career topics, and mental health topics through her coaching at Vicki Tillman Coaching. posts at 7 Sisters, Pike Creek Psychological Center,  Vicki Tillman Coaching and  Vicki Talks Prayer. 

A homeschooling mom for 20-plus years, all five of Vicki’s children graduated from homeschool high school and have completed various degrees at college and graduate levels.

10 Tips for Teaching High Schoolers at Home

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We homeschooled all of our children (14 of them) all the way through high school.
And I am so glad that we did. Here are 10 tips that I have learned through the years of homeschooling high schoolers that can help to make these years more enjoyable, effective, and productive for you and your kids.

10 Tips for Teaching High Schoolers at Home

high school teen homeschooling

1. Substitute creative subjects for what is usually taught in high school.

Public schools don’t have the one best plan for education. Every young person is unique.
One of my daughters wanted to do biology, advanced biology, first aid, and advanced first
aid for her science credits. That’s fine. Don’t feel like you have to follow a public school
plan.

2. Ask for input from your student when teaching your high schooler at home.

Ask them how they learn best, what they would like to learn, what curriculum looks good to them. The more input they have into what they learn, the more they will invest themselves in learning.

3. Be sure you have an outlet for your high schooler to invest in the lives of others.

Teach them to have a servant’s heart and not be self-focused. Teach them to
look for needs in others and extend themselves in meeting those needs. If you instill
that in them, you’ve been a success. Life is about serving others, not pleasing self.

4. Let your high-schooler get a head start if they have a direction for future plans.

If they know what career they’d like to pursue, let them do it in high school. Let them take
courses that will train them in what their passion is. Let them avail themselves of
opportunities while in high school. My youngest graduated from high school this year,
but she worked and studied to obtain her private’s pilot license and got that before she
completed high school.

5. Interview others who have jobs they might like to consider.

If your student doesn’t have a clear direction for the future, invite people to your home. Ask them about their careers, their preparation for it, whether they went to college, whether they needed the college training. Ask questions about what they like about their work and what they don’t.

Here are 10 Tips for Teaching High Schoolers at HomeClick To Tweet

Let them, for instance, volunteer with the rescue squad if they are considering the
medical field, to see if they would really like that line of work. Find someone in a
business they think they might like and let them shadow the person for a week to learn
about the job.

6. Make the opportunity to get to know their friends, invite their friends into your home.

Let your home be a place to hang-out. Our home is ALWAYS open to our kids’ friends,
and some of their friends have become like adopted kids to us. You all will be blessed.
Befriend your kid’s friends. Invest yourself in others.

7. Be available to talk to them (even if it’s late at night!)

Be available to talk about struggles, fears about the future, relationships, goals, etc. Some of my best talks with my kids were late at night when the little guys were in bed and the house was quiet. Kids weren’t given for our convenience. Be available when they need you.

8. Help them as they sort through values.

Don’t be threatened as they set values for themselves. It is normal for them to sort through your values in order to adopt values of their own. Don’t be threatened if they don’t do everything exactly as you did, be open to tell them the whys and how you arrived at your own values.

9. Invest your life in making them successful (and part of that is encouraging them to help others to be successful).

So many of your own goals in life need to be on the back burner while you invest in raising your kids. Lose your life in making them successful in their God-given passions.

10. Be open to their ideas.

Let them try some activities. Don’t be a kill-joy. Enjoy life with them. God has gifted my kids in so many areas that I’m not gifted in, so I appreciate their ideas and let them try things. Be involved as much as they want you to be.

So there you have it! My best 10 Tips for Teaching High Schoolers at Home! What would you add to this list?

***

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30 DAYS OF THE BEST ENCOURAGEMENT FOR HOMESCHOOLING MOMS SERIES CONTRIBUTOR:

“She’s so ENCOURAGING!” That’s what moms say about Marilyn Boyer, homeschooling author and mother of 14. Marilyn’s heartfelt speaking style is both challenging and comforting, her content based on over thirty years’ experience in homeschooling her own children. Her many years in the trenches have convinced her that the most important part of education is the building of godly character. That’s why she created Character Concepts, a Bible-based curriculum for kids from preschool through high school. Learn more of her resources for teaching character to kids at www.CharacterConcepts.com

 

How Does My Lack of Joy Affect My Children?

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Are you lacking joy as a mother?

I don’t have to convince you that Moms are always “on” moving from one thing to the next. They are often up late and up early,  juggling multiple tasks to keep the home and possibly homeschool going. Throw in activities, ministry, or even working from home and, if you’re not careful, you have a perfect recipe for mom burnout.

What are the signs and symptoms of mom burnout? Some include loss of motivation, a change in appetite or sleep habits, feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated, constantly overwhelmed, feeling alone, and stuck in doubt.

What do these all have in common? All lead to a lack of joy!

So how do stay at home moms cope? While thinking about the many times when I have lost my joy, it made me stop and think about the effects my lack of joy has had on my children. We are not the only ones who can struggle when we are lacking joy as moms. As you process through it, I believe it’s important to ask ourselves these two questions.

HOW DOES MY LACK OF JOY AFFECT MY CHILDREN?

Mom Lacking Joy

1. Will they want to know and love my God?

I remember hearing a talk about giving your kids a heart for God. She was talking about making our homes fun and being fun. Then she asked this big question: “Why would our children want to know and love our God if we are always grumpy and unhappy?” 

Such a GOOD point! If I am teaching my kids about God and His Word, and trying to instill a love for Him in them, all that teaching will be undone if they see me as an unhappy, stressed, worried mom.

We can’t force our children’s hearts to love God, but we can give them a hunger for God by showing them the joy we have in Him. There’s the old saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink – BUT you can salt his oats.” We can give our kids more of a thirst for God if we are careful to salt their oats by our daily living. Seeing that we have the joy of the Lord will give our kids more of a thirst for God.

2. Will they learn to trust God with their problems and needs?

I can teach them the importance of prayer. I can encourage them to go to God with their problems. However, if they see me stressing and worrying about circumstances all the time, they are going to have a hard time trusting Him.

Often when I find myself burdened down about something, and feel it is affecting my spirit, I will talk to the kids about it and suggest that we pray and ask for God’s help in that situation. When I’m concerned, I want them to see the best thing to do is go to God.

I have also made it a point to share with them ways that God has answered prayers and provided in different situations. I especially do that when sharing a burden with them, to remind myself that I can trust God with this new worry, and to help build their faith and trust in God.

As moms, we all have occasional times when we lose our joy. That’s normal – it’s okay. The important thing is to realize what makes you lose your joy, and then focus on what you can do to be more joyful.

In my next post, I share 5 Secrets To Being a More Joyful Mother. Miss the last post? Read 3 Things That Make You Lose Your Joy As A Mother now!

 

How does my lack of joy affects my children

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