My husband and I firmly believe in the importance of teaching kids responsibility.  One of our goals was to teach our kids how to work hard, as well as contribute to the family by helping with the work in the home.   They learned to do dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and laundry, among other things.

This wasn’t because I didn’t want to do these jobs, because many times it actually would have easier  to do it myself!  Rather it was because  teaching kids responsibility helps them to grow in character, as they also learn traits such as diligence, perseverance, and initiative. 

One of the simplest ways of teaching kids responsibility is  training them to do various jobs in the home, and be responsible for those jobs on a regular basis. 

Not only does this help them to learn responsible work habits, but they also experience the joy that comes from getting a job done well while helping out in the family.

5 Tips For Teaching Kids Responsibility

1.  When giving kids a new job, make sure you tell them exactly what is required, and demonstrate for them step by step. 

The next time let them do it while you supervise.  A list to help them remember the steps involved might be helpful in jobs that have several steps.  (like cleaning the bathroom)

2.  Give the job to the youngest one that can accomplish it, and let the older ones do the more challenging ones. 

For example, I would have my preschooler  help unload the dishwasher, or set the table, while one of the oldest would do laundry.

As they progress in their ability, change the jobs.

Your goal should be to teach your kids how to do all the jobs that they will be responsible for when they have their own home.

3.  Don’t give the harder jobs to the more “compliant” child, or the one who you know will willingly do it, versus the one who isn’t quite as willing. 

This isn’t fair for the compliant child, and it’s allowing the more difficult child to develop bad character,  Take the time to deal with the attitude, and try to help that child see that work is not a punishment, but something God says is good.  (Remind them of  the verse that says a man shouldn’t eat if he doesn’t work!)

4.  Teach them to take responsibility for getting their jobs done WITHOUT being reminded. 

When I first starting making job charts for the kids, I found myself having to remind them all the time to do the jobs, even though they knew what was required, and it was posted for them to see.   They could remember other things that were important to them, but couldn’t seem to remember to their jobs.  (selective memory loss?!)

My husband and I talked about it, and realized that we really weren’t teaching them to have responsible work habits.

No boss would be happy if they had to daily tell their employee what to do, when they had already trained them and told them what their daily requirements would be.

The solution for us was to have something to MOTIVATE them to remember.

We had a little family meeting, and talked to the kids about the importance of being responsible. Then we told them we were not going to remind them any more about their jobs.  At the end of the week, if they hadn’t done their jobs, they wouldn’t get to ________________.  (Fill in the blank with something that is special for your kids.)

For our boys, it was going to the gym every week with Daddy, when he played basketball with the guys from church.  They would go along and play in the gym, and LOVED it.

The first week we quit reminding them,  I heard them whispering to each other, and reminding each other, “Don’t forget to do your jobs!”

After a few weeks, one of them forgot to do a couple of his jobs.  He was broken-hearted when he didn’t get to go to basketball, but he didn’t forget any more after that!

5.  “Inspect” their work, and make sure they are doing it to the best of their ability. 

When my seven year-old son wiped the table off after a meal, I wasn’t surprised to see a streak here or there that he missed.  However, if it was an older child that was missing spots, they would be required to come back and do it right.  Don’t assign it, if you’re not willing to inspect it.

How are  your kids doing with learning responsible work habits?  Teaching kids responsibility and a good work ethic is something they will thank you for one day, and so will their future spouse!

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You live with them, but do you really know your children well?

Unfortunately, many parents don’t really know their children! They are so busy coming and going in different directions and to different activities, that often little communication exists.

Or perhaps, they are there with their kids quite a bit physically, but their minds are on so many other things that they might as well not be there. They are unaware of their children and their feelings.

As a result, problems surface in their children’s lives that come as a total shock to the parents. The symptoms were there, but they didn’t notice them in the early stages, when the problem could have been easily dealt with.

I know these things from personal experience.

When my daughter was young, I remember watching with concern as she fought an attitude problem, and I wondered what was wrong. Finally, something happened that brought it to a head, and we had to talk about it.

She then confessed that she hadn’t been reading her Bible.

From that experience,  I learned to ask her about what she read, or learned in her Bible reading. That encouraged her to stay faithful.

Another time she seemed upset, and finally said, “Mom, do you remember when you used to ask me if I remembered to pray? Well I wish you’d start asking again, because I’ve been forgetting, and I’m having problems.“

From that I learned  that if one of the kids was showing a subtle, gradual change in attitude, I should ask about their walk with the Lord, and their daily time with Him!

These are just example of a couple times that I didn’t really know what was going on with my kids.  There have been other times where I was unaware of an area they were struggling with, because I was distracted.

How do you really get to know your children? It’s not that hard, but it won’t just happen either! You have to make a point of developing that relationship, and staying close.

Here are some ideas to help you really get to know your children well:

1.  Talk to your kids. 

I don’t mean the usual, “Go do this!” or  “Where are you going?” type of talk, either. I mean just talking and sharing as you would with a friend.

Listen as they share their thoughts and dreams with you. It will reveal a lot to you about them as they open their heart and share with you.

Ask questions and engage in conversation with them on topics that interest them.

>>> 8 Ways To Build Better Communication With Your Children

Also, let them know when you’re excited, tired, discouraged, or what God is teaching you. When you’re going through a difficulty, ask them to pray for you.

Admitting that you have needs as a parent doesn’t lessen your children’s respect for you. If anything, it helps them know better what is happening in your life, and keeps them closer to you.

2.  Listen to your kids.

This is usually easier said than done.

The normal tendency is to listen to part of what they’re saying, and then interrupt to give them our advice, criticism, and so on. Or we only half listen, as our minds wander.

It’s surprising what you’ll learn as you really listen.

If you are alert, you’ll catch things that you need to deal with. Perhaps some comments will indicate a problem with relationships, or perhaps they will give a clue of wrong attitudes.

On the other hand, there are things you will catch that need to be praised and encouraged. Sometimes your children will hint of discouragement or fear, and need some reassuring.

By the way, if we don’t catch these needs as parents, they’ll go elsewhere to get their needs met!

3.  Observe your kids.

If you’re attentive and watch your kids, you should be able to tell when they’re troubled. Often they need you to just give them some time, and let them know you’re aware and want to help.

How sad that some kids go home and cry in a corner, and Mom or Dad are too busy to notice, and offer comfort.

Watch their countenances for changes. Sometimes they may indicate a sad spirit; other times an attitude problem that needs to be dealt with. Find out what caused it, and help them get it right.

Observing how they relate to other family members is a real clue to their true character. Watch for things that need to be talked about, and help them grow in their weak areas.

Don’t just yell at them, or ignore problems between siblings, believing that all kids treat each other that way. Our children need to treat each other with love and kindness. When they get snappy and sharp, try to find out what’s causing their reactions.

4.  Ask your kids questions.

As you observe changes in their spirit or countenance, of course you’ll ask questions, and try to discern the problem or need. But don’t just wait till you observe something!

Whenever your kids go somewhere, ask them questions when they come home. Ask who they were with, what they did, ate, talked about, etc. (Ask out of interest, not distrust, or they’ll resent it!) When you’ve been gone, ask them questions when you get home about what they did.

In other words, show an interest in them and their activities and friends.

For one reason, you should be interested in the details of their lives. (Don’t you like to tell your husband all about your day when he comes home?) It’s important to them.

For another reason, it will tell you a lot about them, and what’s going on in their hearts and minds.

If you do all these things, you’ll benefit in two ways:

1. You’ll be aware of small problems BEFORE they become big.
2. You’ll get to know your children in a rewarding way, and a wonderful bond will be formed between you as you grow together.

What can you do today to help you really know your children well?

BE SURE TO GRAB OUT LIST OF 25 THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR KIDS TO BUILD RELATIONSHIP & WIN THEIR HEARTS