As parents, it is up to us to discipline and train our children, and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It is easy to get irritated when your kids behave wrong, and you have to stop what you are doing to teach and train them. What can you do to have frustration free discipline?
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Here are 4 tips to take the frustration out of discipline:
1. Be CONSISTENT.
Anger is often the result of the letting little things go. When we let those “little things” go sometimes,that inconsistency causes our kids to push the limits, and take chances. Eventually we end up frustrated and angry.
It is so much better to have rules with stated consequences. Every time the rule is broken, you remind them of the rule, and make them pay the stated consequence.
2. Stay CALM.
Consistency is the KEY to calmness when discipline is required.
Each time a rule is broken, you very calmly deal with it. It doesn’t matter which child it is, or how many times they have already been disciplined that day. When they break a rule, they should know there will always be a consequence for it.
By having a list of pre-determined consequences, you won’t over-react with the consequence, nor will you get upset. The child knows what the rules and consequences are, and you just need to calmly remind them of that. Simply ask them what they did wrong, then remind them of the consequence for that action.
Anger in your parenting is usually the result of letting “little” things go, so be consistent with those things.
3. Be CLEAR in your expectations.
It is only fair that our kids very clearly know what the rules are, and what you expect from them. Make sure you practice with little ones till they understand.
For example, “When Mommy tells you to come here, you need to come.” Then practice having them come when you call them.
Or when you tell them to do something, teach them how you want them to respond. “When Mom or Dad tell you to do something, you say ‘Yes Ma’m or Yes Sir’. You do not say no.”
When practicing the right behavior with them, make a big deal out of it every time they respond right. That way they will know what you are looking for, and what they should or should not do to make you happy.
Kids love to make their parents happy, so letting them know you are pleased with their right behavior is a great motivator for them.
4. Show compassion.
When your child has done wrong, be firm when you deal with them, but at the same time show compassion.
Let them know that you love them, and you want them to learn to listen and obey because that makes God happy.
Ask them what they did wrong, and them kindly tell them you are sorry but now they: (fill in the consequence) Give them a hug, tell them you love them, and that you know they will do better next time.
It’s important to always end discipline and correction with affirmation! Let them know that things are good between you and them, and you have forgiven them.
It may seem like it will take a lot of time and effort to follow these four tips, but remember that the more time you spend consistently teaching, training, and correcting your kids when they’re little, the easier it will be when they are older.
You WILL reap the benefits of the time you invest in disciplining them when they are young, leading them to the point where they are able to discipline themselves.
Don’t get frustrated or discouraged, but calmly keep training. Children who are disciplined in love are happier children!
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