As parents, it is up to us to discipline and train our children, and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It is easy to get irritated when your kids behave wrong, and you have to stop what you are doing to teach and train them. What can you do to have frustration free discipline?
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Here are 4 tips to take the frustration out of discipline:
1. Be CONSISTENT.
Anger is often the result of the letting little things go. When we let those “little things” go sometimes,that inconsistency causes our kids to push the limits, and take chances. Eventually we end up frustrated and angry.
It is so much better to have rules with stated consequences. Every time the rule is broken, you remind them of the rule, and make them pay the stated consequence.
2. Stay CALM.
Consistency is the KEY to calmness when discipline is required.
Each time a rule is broken, you very calmly deal with it. It doesn’t matter which child it is, or how many times they have already been disciplined that day. When they break a rule, they should know there will always be a consequence for it.
By having a list of pre-determined consequences, you won’t over-react with the consequence, nor will you get upset. The child knows what the rules and consequences are, and you just need to calmly remind them of that. Simply ask them what they did wrong, then remind them of the consequence for that action.
CREATIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR KIDS
Anger in your parenting is usually the result of letting “little” things go, so be consistent with those things.
3. Be CLEAR in your expectations.
It is only fair that our kids very clearly know what the rules are, and what you expect from them. Make sure you practice with little ones till they understand.
For example, “When Mommy tells you to come here, you need to come.” Then practice having them come when you call them.
Or when you tell them to do something, teach them how you want them to respond. “When Mom or Dad tell you to do something, you say ‘Yes Ma’m or Yes Sir’. You do not say no.”
When practicing the right behavior with them, make a big deal out of it every time they respond right. That way they will know what you are looking for, and what they should or should not do to make you happy.
Kids love to make their parents happy, so letting them know you are pleased with their right behavior is a great motivator for them.
4. Show compassion.
When your child has done wrong, be firm when you deal with them, but at the same time show compassion.
Let them know that you love them, and you want them to learn to listen and obey because that makes God happy.
Ask them what they did wrong, and them kindly tell them you are sorry but now they: (fill in the consequence) Give them a hug, tell them you love them, and that you know they will do better next time.
It’s important to always end discipline and correction with affirmation! Let them know that things are good between you and them, and you have forgiven them.
It may seem like it will take a lot of time and effort to follow these four tips, but remember that the more time you spend consistently teaching, training, and correcting your kids when they’re little, the easier it will be when they are older.
You WILL reap the benefits of the time you invest in disciplining them when they are young, leading them to the point where they are able to discipline themselves.
Don’t get frustrated or discouraged, but calmly keep training. Children who are disciplined in love are happier children!
IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH ANGER IN YOUR PARENTING OR DISCIPLINE, GRAB THIS FREE PRINTABLE!
Included is a page with 4 ways to properly respond to your anger, as well as 10 printable verse cards with Scripture to help you deal with your anger.
How To Respond to Anger
Great reminders! Thanks for sharing.
You mentioned having specific consequence for specific wrongs. Do you have a list anywhere that could help me get started, knowing what good consequences are (like for disobedience? Or backtalk?). Thanks!
Hi Rachel,
I have been asked that question often! Sometimes it is hard to know what the best consequence should be. I will email you with links to some of my favorites tips for that.
Please send me the links to some of your favorites tips for having a specific consequence for specific wrongs.
Here is a link to a post that has several ideas & links to help you! Creative Consequences For Kids
https://thecharactercorner.com/creative-consequences-kids/
Hi Kathie!
I love reading your articles! I struggle with consistency, but also in determining consequences. Would you please send me the link for consequences you mentioned above?
Thank you!
Sent you an email!
Hi! Just found your site, and I am loving the content. Thanks so much for putting it out there! Could you also email me the list of resources about possible consequences? Thank you.
Hi Lauren, I will email you today with some links to creative consequences. 🙂
Kathie,
So thankful to have found your site. I thought we were doing good work but still have trouble with 2 of our children not obeying the first time, ages 6 and 4. Would love to see your list of creative consequences. Thank you for the blessinging you are to others.
Hi Kari! I’m glad you found my site, and pray it will be a blessing and help to you. I’ll send you an email with consequence ideas.
I would love some tips for discipline with an 18 month old. I struggle with just how much to expect and how many chances to give. I want to teach instant obedience but also know he’s still learning.
Hi Amanda! At that age it is the time for lots of training and practicing. When he doesn’t obey, say, “Let’s try that again” and keep practicing till he gets it right. It’s also the age where you pretty much keep an eye on them all the time and train – stop him when he starts to touch something he’s not allowed to, remind him of what is expected, etc. I don’t think you will get instant obedience regularly at that age because he IS in training, and it takes time and practice. We practiced with our children to teach them to come when we called them — we’d have go across the room and tell them that we called them they needed to say “Yes Ma’m (or sir) and come running. Then we would hug them and praise them for obeying. When they slacked off on that, we’d have some more practice sessions.
Thank you for this reminder. Would you be able to also email me your list of consequences? I have 4 boys ages 6 to baby and I find myself reacting far too often instead of having a plan in place.
Hi Rebekah! Here is the link to my post on consequences: Creative Consequences For Kids. I hope you will find it helpful!